TF is planning to move to my city!

[kerrybear]

He's the runner - he has severed all forms of communication between us - he doesn't want me in his life anymore and has told me to leave him alone.

So why the hell is he planning a move to the same city as me?

Don't judge me, but even though we aren't friends on Facebook any more, I often torture myself by searching for any public comments he has made on there. So, after a night of particularly lucid dreams about him last night, I searched today and he has been posting on local house-hunting Facebook groups asking for a flat to let in my home city. He posted last week and his location was IN my city. He currently lives in a village an hour or so away but his friends and family are the other side of the country. When we were still in touch he often talked about moving "home" as he regrets moving to the place he moved to. He knows no-one else in my city.

I am all over the place after reading this. I feel angry too. I have been doing my best to forget him and move on - cord cutting, accepting he is a runner and has so many issues to work through I will be amazed if we reunite in this lifetime, I am even trying to forge a new relationship with someone who treats me well and I have lots in common with - so why is he moving closer to me?

I am not looking for answers, just a rant really. I don't know how I am going to manage to not go crazy if I am looking for him whenever I step out of the door. He plans to move here next month.

[Ciona]

He wouldn't be moving your direction if the Universe doesn't think you can handle it. My saying that is only meant to encourage, since you mention concerns about going crazy. You can handle this or it wouldn't be happening.

So in that sense I would take cheer, it probably means you have been on the right track in some ways and have much potential to be on the right track in other ways. It's a vote of confidence in that sense. My guess is you are probably a very strong individual, and like I said this post is not meant to be judgmental in any way, only encourage. Whatever it means, if anything, will eventually become apparent.

You can do this.

[A human Being]

Blimey, I can see how that might drive you nuts I get to thinking that the universe is a perverse fecker... but these things are sent to try us, as they say, I guess there must be an entirely (il)logical explanation for it.

Just to clarify, when you said he'd expressed a desire to move back home, that isn't your home city is it? You said he knows no-one besides you so I'm assuming not. Otherwise I'm curious as to why he'd move there, unless maybe his work relocated him there, or he just took a shine to the place when he met you perhaps?

[kerrybear]

Thankyou Sister, I am sure the universe will tell me what the hell is going on at some point, but right now it feels like the universe is having a laugh at my expense. She takes him away from me and then waves him around at me just out of arm's reach <sigh>

[kerrybear]

A human being - it is not his home no, he had only been here 2 or 3 times before we met - and we never spent any time here when we were together - I used to travel to him as his addictions and anxiety meant he couldn't do the (public transport) journey. He is self employed and can work from anywhere in the world. So I can't think of any good reason for him to want to move here

[Ciona]

Originally Posted by kerrybear

Thankyou Sister, I am sure the universe will tell me what the hell is going on at some point, but right now it feels like the universe is having a laugh at my expense. She takes him away from me and then waves him around at me just out of arm's reach <sigh>

I understand. It's not though. I'd be mad too in some circumstances, I totally get it.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by kerrybear

A human being - it is not his home no, he had only been here 2 or 3 times before we met - and we never spent any time here when we were together - I used to travel to him as his addictions and anxiety meant he couldn't do the (public transport) journey. He is self employed and can work from anywhere in the world. So I can't think of any good reason for him to want to move here

You know I read back my initial reply to you and I owe you an apology, it was insensitive - sorry, I do appreciate how upsetting it must be for you, I can't imagine how I'd feel in those circumstances :(

It seems very strange on the face of it, it's a shame you can't ask him directly why he's made the decision to move to your home city, just to give you a little piece of mind... such a difficult situation, I feel for you I really do.

[kerrybear]

Originally Posted by A human Being

You know I read back my initial reply to you and I owe you an apology, it was insensitive - sorry, I do appreciate how upsetting it must be for you, I can't imagine how I'd feel in those circumstances :(

It seems very strange on the face of it, it's a shame you can't ask him directly why he's made the decision to move to your home city, just to give you a little piece of mind... such a difficult situation, I feel for you I really do.

It wasn't insensitive in my opinion, just enquiring and truthful. I am fluctuating between trying to persuade myself his planned move has nothing to do with me and us at all "he may just like the city" "moving to the closest city to where he is currently makes perfect sense" "he may have met other people here since we split up" "I am probably not important enough to him to play any part in his decision" to "something is telling him he needs to be close to me" "he really does love me" "he can't stay away!".

Only time will tell. Although I wish I could just ask him now.

[unicorn68]

Originally Posted by kerrybear

It wasn't insensitive in my opinion, just enquiring and truthful. I am fluctuating between trying to persuade myself his planned move has nothing to do with me and us at all "he may just like the city" "moving to the closest city to where he is currently makes perfect sense" "he may have met other people here since we split up" "I am probably not important enough to him to play any part in his decision" to "something is telling him he needs to be close to me" "he really does love me" "he can't stay away!".

Only time will tell. Although I wish I could just ask him now.

be patient.sounds like he is the one that ran....although he could probably reasonably justify himself by giving himself the excuse that it was his job....
still sounds like you have to work on yourself tho.try this it might help
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017...nship-to-work/i know you are tearing yourself apart but thats just your insecurity.wanting to know RIGHT NOW....let him contact you if he wants to.be strong if you can.above all work on yourself right now.that article isnt just about twin flames it gives really sound advice for everyone.....

[kerrybear]

Originally Posted by unicorn68

be patient.sounds like he is the one that ran....although he could probably reasonably justify himself by giving himself the excuse that it was his job....
still sounds like you have to work on yourself tho.try this it might help
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017...nship-to-work/i know you are tearing yourself apart but thats just your insecurity.wanting to know RIGHT NOW....let him contact you if he wants to.be strong if you can.above all work on yourself right now.that article isnt just about twin flames it gives really sound advice for everyone.....

Thanks Unicorn - you linked to that article on another of my threads - it is a good article - really cuts through the bull - have just read it again and it has reminded me I am slipping into negative needy thought patterns again. I ache to have him close by though.

I CAN be strong (or is it stubborn?) Last time we were in contact a month ago I told him the ball is in his court now - I offered him my presence and friendship but said I won't initiate contact again - but he is free to contact me if he wants to. I will stick to that and am doing my best to not waste energy obsessing and plough that energy into myself, my children and my friendships as well as starting to date someone else.

Him moving close by soon has put a spanner in the works - but I am going to do my best to stick to my word and enjoy tbe rest of my life until that time we are in toucb again.