interesting thought- feedback?

[Stephenie]

About 2 months ago I moved to the same area as my tf. We have been separated since September and I had been planing on moving here long before I meet my tf. I should have moved here a year ago and had several opportunities but didn't because I knew it would make things harder on him. But i finally had to do whats best for my daughter and myself. the first month was hard but since then my life has drastically improved. I did panic a bit after I made the decision to move about how it could hurt him to run into me so I broke the silents and asked him if he would want to know if I was in town. We talked for a few days about what was going on and had planned to meet- his idea, but the day before I moved he told me he couldn't meet and the thought of seeing me was raising his anxiety.
Since moving here though- despite the vast improvements in my life, I'm becoming an emotional wreck. His birthday was Sunday and so on Saturday i sent him a message saying happy birthday and I hope he's well. He did write back and asked about me and after we talked i was happy and calm, for an hr. It's been pure hell since. I can't stop crying, I cant focus on work, I can't eat and last night I didn't even sleep. Because of it I've started searching out tf support groups and trying to work through this. Talking and writing things out helps me focus.
Shortly after writing my 'my story' post a thought came to me. I am not the type to be an emotional wreck. yes i can get stressed out and breakdown, but I'm quickly over it. But my tf is highly emotional. Today I was starting to wonder if somehow I have become the runner because I'm scared to run into him, and where I see him progressing I feel like i'm at a stand still. But I know I'm not the runner.
When we were together we would frequently amplify our emotions without realizing it because we were on the same frequency and going threw emotions together. Since we were always talking it was easy to figure out who the emotions were coming from.
We are both emphatic. He is much stronger but I tend to have better control. i usually can quickly determine the source or cause of an emotion. But if we are on the same frequency, as some believe twins share, and we are not talking, isn't it quite possible that I'm an emotional wreck right now simply because he is?
honestly the idea doesn't help because the thought that he is suffering this much just because I'm in town is devastating in and of itself.

[ssdm1]

Hi Stephanie, I read your other post but did not get a chance to reply. My tf and I have know each other for over 30 years, and were no in contact with each other for 20+ years. Then he came back in my life a year ago and is a part of it now.

From my experience I think text messaging can cause us anxiety. I have this problem and feel it's because we can't hear the emotion in someone's voice with messaging and we can't see the person's body language or expression when not with them. This causes me to be emotional at times with my twin. I wonder what he means (usually nothing, lol) and it causes a lot of emotions in me.

When we first reconnected it took us months of texting before getting together. He would respond immediately but sometimes with short answers. The fact that your twin does respond to you makes me think he does not mind you contacting him. This is probably very emotional and confusing for him and if he's like mine he reacts differently each time you have contact (ie, not wanting to see you after your move).

I do think that twins feel each others emotions. I have this happen too. Hope that helps some.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Stephenie

But if we are on the same frequency, as some believe twins share, and we are not talking, isn't it quite possible that I'm an emotional wreck right now simply because he is?

Here's what I've learned: If the relationship is over, then it's time to get on with my life. Thinking about the other person, thinking about what might be or could be, thinking about all the possible realities, is weakening and harming my ability to step fully into my life and the real world. My advice: you have a child and that should be your sole focus. Stop being an emotional wreck, not for you, but for your child's sake.

We have the free will to choose our emotional response, and to redirect our thinking. It's a choice, always. And of course you're free, as all human beings are, to choose how you deal with the life questions you face. So I'm not telling you to stop feeling emotional. I'm telling you that you can, of your own free will, choose to stop thinking about it, and to not feel emotional.