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Originally Posted by FallingLeaves
Hi Necromancer!
but what I'm saying is you look at your ailments and fume, I look at your description of your ailments and know exactly the same thing I know from all your other writing: you are an advanced soul, helping show the way in your own way. In my mind, if it weren't so, you wouldn't be so 'afflicted'. It is just that, by your own admission you are jsut as confused as the rest of us, not even knowing what it is you are supposed to be showing!
As far as not being able to externalise you said it yourself in a recent post: the whole point of the way you go about meditating has been teachin gyou to internalize. You are a long way down that road, of course it will take time to go back.
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Thank you so much for this and I needed to read it. I feel this thread, in itself is a healing and a catharsis for me, so I thank all who have contributed.
In one way, I feel that it's all about those notions of 'letting go' and 'opening up' and what is meant to be revealed shall reveal itself, but 'letting go' isn't as easy as it seems, especially when you need to put on a show for others.
I have also said somewhere previously, that I have internalised it so much, I have turned my self 'inside out' which to a person who meditates, well, that can be a good thing. lol
My focus has basically been internal my whole life though, so I got a 'head start'...
I'm learning a lot about myself lately and that's cool. Thanks again.
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