Needing a quiet holiday and not able to get it spiritually

[TXGemini]

I hope everyone is enjoying their Happy Holidays--Merry Christmas and all festivals that are being partaken throughout the world.

I've been trying to relax and meditate this holiday season. I had worked hard this year and only took vacation in May, so I was extremely exhausted and need the break. Many of my friends were concerned about me taking a well-deserved holiday "retreat" but i reassured them that I needed to "hibernate" for physical and spiritual reasons.

So far I am able to catch on my sleep and that has been a blessing. I am so glad to be off and not have to set the alarm clock. My issue is not being able to sleep without my so-called platonic soulmate still popping into my dreams. He cancelled our monthly meeting and I haven't seen him since November which is o.k. with me.

He was so happy that I attended his presentation that afterwards he hugged and thanked me in front of a group of people which absolutely shocked me. Then he responded in an email again thanking me for coming and supporting him. He was a "shoe-in" for the job that he was interim.

The problem now is, I have been focused my meditations and prayers on bringing in my true love/soulmate/future husband. I do not need him (co-worker/platonic soulmate) popping into my dreams all the time (with or without sleeping pills).

I've done soul-ties prayers, cleaning prayers, St. Michael soul-tie bond breaking prayer, Purple Flame bond breaking prayers, everything, and nothing works. He pops into my dream more so when he doesn't see me--or when he cancels a meeting with me. And now since he officially got the job, I'm stuck with him. I've got too much vested (literally) with this job to leave it.

Last night, I had a little tantrum at God and told him that if he wasn't going to stop Mr. X from popping into my dreams that I would just stop praying for a husband period--that I could just stay single, what was the point if he was going to nag me with Mr. X all the time?

Then I fussed at my late Mom who psychically helped me to find the perfect house to move into after her death, but she can't shoo Mr. X away or help me with why he's bugging me or give me a hint if I have a spiritual problem that needs to be solved.

I know I shouldn't have said all this on Christmas Eve but I was at my limit. I didn't hear anything from anyone and I didn't feel guilty--I usually feel very guilty (Catholic guilt) after I go on a rant. Then I watch Midnight Mass and went to bed--slept through the night with no problems until about 7:30 am.

I woke up---I should have gotten up, but I turned over and went back to sleep and ping, a Mr. X dream. Can't even remember what it was--just that he popped in quick. I'm never thinking about him.

So, any idea why I'm having these dreams if I'm meditating on a future husband?

Who I am meditating on in a future husband does not look like Mr. X--he's too concerned about looks (metrosexual) and I would rather like someone like my dad and uncles who were "men" men less primpy (lumberjack men).

Is the Universe saying that my future husband is going to resemble Mr. X?

I prefer rugged men, but I can't be choosey where the Universe is concerned.

[hineahuone]

Have you changed your surroundings? Perhaps a change of scenery will help you to relax and distract you from the normal routine. I am not sure why you are trying to break the connection but it didn't work for me either. I find that keeping myself busy and in service to others is a great distraction. I am filling up my diary before the year has even ended because I am not on holiday as yet. I am planning a trip away in April/May next year. I use aromatherapy oils and take salt baths to help me with the energy waves that seem to be coming thick and fast at the moment.

[TXGemini]

hineahuone -

When I first awakened, I did have a problem day and night, but after I began my meditations I no longer have any issues during the day. I started up writing in my journal again a few months ago.

Last night I went to sleep to a meditation tape. I just don't have time or patience for the uninvited dreams, especially since I've made the conscious choice that I don't want them.

Professionally Mr. X did something (within his right) that adversely affected personnel in my department. He told me it was just business and that's true, but for me I probably will never get over it. Since that conversation it feels like our roles have reversed, he seems to be even more conscientious and friendly to me; and I am more reserved and less trustworthy of him. Before then, I went out of my way to help him and he always had a chip on his shoulder with me.

I'm hoping and praying that with his official promotion he will be too "busy" for our monthly meetings and I will fade away from his memory and calendar. Then I can go on with my life, get a good night's sleep, and find my future husband.

They say platonic soulmates sometimes are only in your life for a season---I am hoping this is the case with him. Yet I've had other people in my life who have helped me that I did not dream about, so I don't know.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by TXGemini

hineahuone -

When I first awakened, I did have a problem day and night, but after I began my meditations I no longer have any issues during the day. I started up writing in my journal again a few months ago.

Last night I went to sleep to a meditation tape. I just don't have time or patience for the uninvited dreams, especially since I've made the conscious choice that I don't want them.

Professionally Mr. X did something (within his right) that adversely affected personnel in my department. He told me it was just business and that's true, but for me I probably will never get over it. Since that conversation it feels like our roles have reversed, he seems to be even more conscientious and friendly to me; and I am more reserved and less trustworthy of him. Before then, I went out of my way to help him and he always had a chip on his shoulder with me.

I'm hoping and praying that with his official promotion he will be too "busy" for our monthly meetings and I will fade away from his memory and calendar. Then I can go on with my life, get a good night's sleep, and find my future husband.

They say platonic soulmates sometimes are only in your life for a season---I am hoping this is the case with him. Yet I've had other people in my life who have helped me that I did not dream about, so I don't know.

I have dreams that do not always have my beloved taking a role, but he is always there as a guide or symbol of some sort. I take time to journal and interpret the dreams, sometimes using the internet to find out what the animals or scenery symbolises. I have had some amazing beautiful dreams and to me they are about my own spiritual awakeneing.

[selene]

hi TXGemini. Happy Holidays back to you too!

May I ask? if you don't think about him during the day, why do the dreams bother you so much? is it because you feel like they keep you from focusing at all levels from your future husband?

In any case, I get the feeling that you are fighting it too much. Perhaps letting go of any dream expectation -even if that is no dream -is a good way to go.

[selene]

Originally Posted by hineahuone

I have dreams that do not always have my beloved taking a role, but he is always there as a guide or symbol of some sort. I take time to journal and interpret the dreams, sometimes using the internet to find out what the animals or scenery symbolises. I have had some amazing beautiful dreams and to me they are about my own spiritual awakeneing.

I observed that a while ago. My twin soul is always there in some way, just like you describe.

[TXGemini]

selene -

I used to dream about my future husband--or a gentleman I assumed was my future husband until I started working with my platonic soulmate (before I found out he was) and having disagreements. During this time I found out we were platonic soulmates and I tried to be his friend. The disagreements turned into him under minding me talking about me behind my back.

After I called him out on it and he denied it, but he asked me to not be mad at him. After that meeting, our roles reversed I didn't try anymore. I just didn't care to be in the same room with him. The more I became indifferent (cancel meetings) the more he wanted to meet with me. But during this time I began to lose my dreams of my future husband and Mr. X started to come into my dreams.

My future husband no longer shows up in my dreams and I am so disappointed. The last time he showed up maybe one night this past October.

Please note--in my dreams every detail is sharp, crystal clear in my dreams with the exception of my future husband's face. In none of my dreams about my future husband I have yet to see his face.

In early March, I had a dream where future husband and I were together in the house I am in now laughing and doing laundry (of the house that I bought in late March but hadn't seen yet, didn't even know about it), and the next then I know I'm pulled into a gothic Victorian room decorated in black and burgundy velvet. I'm in a burgundy gown and Mr. X is in a black suit. I'm screaming and pulling on the door trying to get out. All he says is silly girl you can't leave.

In Mid-October this year I had a dream that a black wolf was growling and chasing me deep in the woods and I fell down a small hill. After a while I didn't hear the wolf growling any more, and I lift my head to see a shadow of man flashing a blinding light in my face and laughing. The next thing I know I'm in a Victorian gothic room that is painted black and blood red, and I'm dressed in a red ball gown and Mr. X is dress in a black suit. I run for the door but it's locked. He walks up behind me and says you can't leave.

What is so upset and disappointing is that I was so happy to go to sleep each night to dream what activity my future husband and I would be doing--truly mundane stuff for other people, chores, grocery store, shopping; but, we would be doing it together.

Now, I don't get that time with him (future husband) anymore because I can't get Mr. X to leave, to shoo, to be gone in my subconscious. After he's run off my future husband, Mr. X just bugs me in my subconscious--nothing but a nuisance--just wants to talk all the time. He's always so happy in the dreams. This is my time to sleep. My dreams have always been my time to decompress and enjoy. I don't need him in my dreams when I'm trying to escape him at work.

Now I hate to go to sleep--I've tried meditation, journaling before bed, staying up until I'm ready to crash, sleeping pills, sleepy time teas, baths, showers, lotions, and changing rooms. Even moving didn't help. When I visited my aunt and uncle last Christmas didn't help--I was exhausted from the flight and on a different time zone. It started with my kundalini, but I just thought it was a side effect of it.

[alcyone]

Well you did all those prayers for him, in hopes of a soulmate. Maybe your soulmate is someone else?

[TXGemini]

Originally Posted by Flyawaywithme

Well you did all those prayers for him, in hopes of a soulmate. Maybe your soulmate is someone else?

Yes, that's what I was praying for a romantic soulmate and husband. And I was dreaming of him for a while--the man with no face until Mr. X started showing up.

Now I can't dream about my future husband anymore. It's very frustrating. So far three psychic readers have confirmed my future husband will come in Spring '17, which I hope is true and I am continuing to pray. They confirmed Mr. X is a platonic soulmate which is what I suspected.

I just need my subconscious to cooperate. Since October, I have reduced my communications with Mr. X in order minimize my dreams, but it still hasn't helped. I have journaled the qualities and traits I seek in a husband to the Universe....believe me it is the opposite of Mr. X.

[TXGemini]

I am happy to report for the past two nights I have been able to sleep undisturbed by any dreams of Mr. X.

But in order to do so, I did two different guided meditations that I had never done before--attracting a new love partner before bed and my nightly prayers.

So I've awaken two days in a row refreshed, calm, and no anxiety. I hope this holds and carries into the new year.

Note: I had to stop saying/praying anything with "soulmate"--prayers, affirmations, meditations, etc. I think those were continuous links to Mr. X and putting me in a loop with him even though we are only platonic soulmates.

As someone where said previously, I am searching for my romantic true love/life partner/husband which is different.