Accepting the fear of death?!

[TonySG]

Hi
So, I have been working on trying to accept the fear of death. As I realise that overcoming this fear is the key to living life to its fullest. My life has improved a lot since I have been working on this. However I am now getting to the point where its scaring me. I think because I have developed somewhat of an obsession with death, that I am going to die. But, I don't want to.

I do realise that this is my ego kicking in and preventing me letting go further. Has anyone here come to complete terms and accepted this fear?

I've had the misfortune of being very close to death a few times in recent months. Its strange, because all your priorities change, and its not that scary.

For me, I fear my own death not for the fear of death itself, but because of the impact it will have on my family, especially my young kids. But when I've been on the trolley, vaguely aware of medical professionals working very, very quickly to try to stabilise me, the main thought I remember having was, that one way or another, everything will be alright, because no matter how hard things sometimes are, nothing lasts forever, and my family will find a way to come to terms with my departure. Of course I hope that doesn't happen any time soon, and I remember hoping that at the time, but in all honesty, when I genuinely believed it was happening, I was not as scared as I am when I think about it when I'm fine.

So, I guess the point is, accept it, learn from how you are feeling, but put the focus on the living rather than the dying.

[TonySG]

Originally Posted by Badger1777

I've had the misfortune of being very close to death a few times in recent months. Its strange, because all your priorities change, and its not that scary.

For me, I fear my own death not for the fear of death itself, but because of the impact it will have on my family, especially my young kids. But when I've been on the trolley, vaguely aware of medical professionals working very, very quickly to try to stabilise me, the main thought I remember having was, that one way or another, everything will be alright, because no matter how hard things sometimes are, nothing lasts forever, and my family will find a way to come to terms with my departure. Of course I hope that doesn't happen any time soon, and I remember hoping that at the time, but in all honesty, when I genuinely believed it was happening, I was not as scared as I am when I think about it when I'm fine.

So, I guess the point is, accept it, learn from how you are feeling, but put the focus on the living rather than the dying.

Great answer! Thank you for your insight :)

Hi badger 1777 I guess I.m like you atm I had a scare in jan then more In feb and march im 41 and it was my heart..all I kept thinking was I have a young family I cant leave I guess thats my biggest fear , , leaving them...it really does make you think but my scare has taken over me im convinced now everyday im going to die..its a horrible way to be..before this death never scared me..but now im even thinking of what the afterlife is like.i keep seeing myself in it and my family down here in bits I worry too much now ....hope it all goes away soon.

[SpiritCarrier]

I do not fear death. It is just another phase of existence. That is my belief anyway.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by TonySG

Hi
So, I have been working on trying to accept the fear of death. As I realise that overcoming this fear is the key to living life to its fullest. My life has improved a lot since I have been working on this. However I am now getting to the point where its scaring me. I think because I have developed somewhat of an obsession with death, that I am going to die. But, I don't want to.

I do realise that this is my ego kicking in and preventing me letting go further. Has anyone here come to complete terms and accepted this fear?

Fear of death is a biological drive. It's built in for protection. If we didn't have that we wouldn't have the urge to stay 'alive'. That being said, that fear can be reduced considerably. All negative emotions come from this drive when it is in an unhealthy state. If you want to release your fear of death then you need to release anything negative inside you.

As for obsession with death.. It might be that you're starting to identify with all the negativity in you as it comes to the surface clears out. This can help release it if you let it flow and not cling onto it. Also as you said, with this happening the ego is expanding and that can cause fear in itself. So you maybe have a double dose of fear.

If you're uncomfortable with this feeling of being obsessed with death then you should cut back a little or find another way to release it. Have you tried hatha yoga? It clears energy out directly rather than mentally. This might be easier for your mind.

Have I accepted this fear? Yes. I have fear, make no mistake, but I've accepted it and my fear of death has fallen noticeably these past couple of months. Remember, often what we fear is actually fear itself. Once you stop fearing your fear then you have nothing to fear, even if you do still feel fear as a result of years of mental programming Hope that was helpful.

Originally Posted by greyblue

Hi badger 1777 I guess I.m like you atm I had a scare in jan then more In feb and march im 41 and it was my heart..all I kept thinking was I have a young family I cant leave I guess thats my biggest fear , , leaving them...it really does make you think but my scare has taken over me im convinced now everyday im going to die..its a horrible way to be..before this death never scared me..but now im even thinking of what the afterlife is like.i keep seeing myself in it and my family down here in bits I worry too much now ....hope it all goes away soon.

I know what you mean. I'm worried about dropping dead at any time too. Mostly for my family though.

I believe that when we die, we move on as spirits. Sometimes lingering for a while before reincarnating. I think that's up to us individually, much like being in an astral projection. I also consider the possibility that I might be wrong, and there might be nothing after death, no awareness of anything. I doubt that though. In any case, neither of those things scares me really. There is the possibility as you say that we remain aware and connected to our families. Very likely I think, but not in a sort of horrible way where we see them as their fleshy mortal selves, but rather their spirits, and we can still interact with them when they dream (I have good reason to believe this, after my nanna showed me where all her documents were very well hidden just after she died - and when my parents finally humoured silly 5 year old me and had a look where I'd been insisting they looked, there were the documents).

I think our ideas of what's important change when our time is up. mundane trivialities like how to pay the mortgage and where to live become unimportant, safe in the knowledge that one way or another, our surviving loved ones will figure it out, and if we choose to linger for a while, we will be able to help them through the more important stuff, the injuries to their spirit, by helping them to explore their souls as they sleep and dream.

A recurring childhood dream makes me believe I know where I lived in a previous life, and how I died (horribly, brake failure in an old Morris Minor pickup, got battered around the inside of the car quite violently as it went off the road and started to roll - but that's beside the point). I also had regular dreams in which I was a man in my late teens or early twenties, with an entirely different family and set of friends who I knew well, with no knowledge of my actual 'current' life. Why is this relevant? Because I think it shows that on some level we always remain connected to everyone we loved, but those energies move on and move about, and while I firmly believe that my previous life dreams represented genuine memories of a previous life where I loved an entirely different set of people, I don't miss them now (they will almost certainly all be dead and possibly reincarnated by now anyway), so it all turned out alright in the end so far.

Incidentally, I just mentioned the brake failure and death recurring dream. Its interesting how now, even though I am a confident driver, in a much more modern car with better road holding and better brakes, I still don't trust a car's brakes when going down hill. I always lock the gearbox into a low gear, slow down, test the brakes before the descent, and look out for safe crash points as a last resort. No real logic to that other than a past experience of losing it on a hill.

[knightofalbion]

Death is nothing to be feared. It's as natural as the changing of the seasons. We move from one plane of existence to another.

If one is afraid of death - something which is very common largely thanks to Orthodoxy weaving a dark web of fear and menace around death - great comfort can be found from reading about near-death experiences and pre-death experiences (a.k.a. deathbed visions) ....

The afterlife will take care of itself. The pivotal issue is that we make the utmost of this wonderful opportunity called life .... To learn, to grow, to love, to render Service.

I guess my fear is mostly hub and kids been on this world without me ..selfish probably..but once life throughs a reminder at you,its kinda hard to forget it,im not afraid of dying, i think its a pain thing,like will i suffer..ive always wanted to go in my sleep (i think that would be a lovely way to go) probably me been selfish again lol..but somedays i stand and look around me or at my kids and think, dear god one day il not be part of this anymore..and its weird all my life whenever ive looked at photographs of family members that have passed i always feel/felt pity that they must have felt this also..since ive been about six i wont allow anyone to photograph me lol..tho im prob just a weirdo..

Originally Posted by TonySG

Hi
So, I have been working on trying to accept the fear of death. As I realise that overcoming this fear is the key to living life to its fullest. My life has improved a lot since I have been working on this. However I am now getting to the point where its scaring me. I think because I have developed somewhat of an obsession with death, that I am going to die. But, I don't want to.

I do realize that this is my ego kicking in and preventing me letting go further. Has anyone here come to complete terms and accepted this fear?

i never feared death. i'm sure people's beliefs have everything to do with their feelings.

since passed loved ones have visited me, i know life goes on, just not in our present form. energy doesn't die.

i also suspect the older you get the less you fear. fear keeps you in a cage. just concentrate on 'living' and not worry about dying.