Infatuations/obsessions/"crushes"--advice?

Thank you!

I'm glad you left that forums and found your way here

Among close-minded people there is little or no room for open-minded discussion, and I'm sad to say its been my experience that Christians are more close-minded than most.

You should hear what my parents think about my current area of reading and study... Or perhaps you shouldn't. Negativity isn't delicious like peanut butter. Probably best not to spread it around...
- DreamBliss

[Usako]

Aww I am glad as well, I've met many wonderful people in here, you amongst them!

Hahaha, well you should see my dad's "now she's finally gone completely bonkers now" looks he gives me, like last time I told him I had gotten a sign in a horoscope.

I've tried to get my parents to open up, but that is a wasted "fight".

What are your opinions on infatuation? How dies one tell the difference between being infatuated and being in love? What are your experiences with the three things listed in the topic?

I think there is a big difference!

When you have a crush or infatuation with someone, that person may not even know you have a crush on them - it can be someone you don't even really know at all (like a celebrity, etc.)
With crushes/infatuations, I think you build that person up in your mind to be exactly what you "want" from a relationship...you can put them on a pedestal and think they're "perfect" - and if they do at some point fall off the pedestal you put them on, you'll quickly forget about it and move on to the next...

When you find real, true love - none of those things apply! You will know that person, interact with them, and you will love them in spite of their "imperfections". You will see very clearly that they are also only human, and have weaknesses, and things about them you may not like so much...but it won't matter, because you love them anyway. There will be no thought of simply moving on to the next person, because true love will make you want to do everything in your power to overcome any obstacle or work through any hurt.

Originally Posted by sesheta

What are your opinions on infatuation? How dies one tell the difference between being infatuated and being in love? What are your experiences with the three things listed in the topic?

I think there is a big difference!

When you have a crush or infatuation with someone, that person may not even know you have a crush on them - it can be someone you don't even really know at all (like a celebrity, etc.)
With crushes/infatuations, I think you build that person up in your mind to be exactly what you "want" from a relationship...you can put them on a pedestal and think they're "perfect" - and if they do at some point fall off the pedestal you put them on, you'll quickly forget about it and move on to the next...

When you find real, true love - none of those things apply! You will know that person, interact with them, and you will love them in spite of their "imperfections". You will see very clearly that they are also only human, and have weaknesses, and things about them you may not like so much...but it won't matter, because you love them anyway. There will be no thought of simply moving on to the next person, because true love will make you want to do everything in your power to overcome any obstacle or work through any hurt.

True. Have you ever heard of the quote, "Whatever one sees is true"? Sometimes, it goes like "Whatever one invents is true." But yeah, same idea.

Originally Posted by sesheta

When you find real, true love - none of those things apply! You will know that person, interact with them, and you will love them in spite of their "imperfections". You will see very clearly that they are also only human, and have weaknesses, and things about them you may not like so much...but it won't matter, because you love them anyway. There will be no thought of simply moving on to the next person, because true love will make you want to do everything in your power to overcome any obstacle or work through any hurt.

So what does it mean when you feel exactly that way about someone you have never even met in a physical, tangible way?
- DreamBliss

So what does it mean when you feel exactly that way about someone you have never even met in a physical, tangible way?

I simply can't see how it is possible to feel those things for someone/a character you have never met. As I've mentioned before, I've had my share of "celebrity crushes" over the years, lol!
But now that I have actually found the love of my life - a real-life, physical man, who speaks to me, touches me, etc. in reality......I can see that any "crushes" I had before (even past relationships with other guys..) were absolutely NOTHING compared to this.
One of my huge celebrity infatuations for years was Kevin Sorbo (played Hercules in the TV series...) and I actually had the opportunity to meet him & talk to him last year :) Interestingly enough, when I did, my "better half/love of my life" was standing right beside me....and suddenly Kevin Sorbo was just....a guy. Why? Because it was no longer real....the man standing beside me was real - he is my centre, my rock, the one I would do anything for....in spite of his faults and the little things about him that sometimes drive me nuts :)
It's just something that you will know, in your soul, with no doubt, when it happens! And then you will look back on everything else that came before, and realize that it was just smoke & mirrors.......