Am Starting Meditation Again After 27 Year Hiatus

[slowsnake]

Hello folks,

Well yesterdays meditation was a fizzer,it was not hot here but cool/warm and have been feeling off colour for a week or so now.
As you know I started to meditate as moral support for my elder brother David who lives in the UK.

But I am not very well myself,sometimes with all the running around I do I get very tired out,some days are better than others,for the past few nights I have been tossing and turning,this makes me tired during the day,if I do not nap for 2 hours I end up really unwell.

Besides this mould problem I suffer with lyme or its co-infections,I have a double battle going on inside of me, my immune system is fighting 2 diseases,aspergillis niger and what they think is babesia or lyme.
Its been a 5 year internal and mental battle,its certainly taken its toll on me.

So very wisely I did not meditate yesterday,but napped for 2 hours instead,whatever is inside my body ( its parasitic ) from the tick bites ( more than 60 ) over a 5 week period,and the mould mycotoxins when I moved to this community housing unit which they forgot?? to connect the crawlspace under the unit, which has a swale drain, to the storm water drain in the driveway?
Result, 20,000 litres of stagnant water below my timber floored and carpeted unit, 3 years me and Mr Moggs breathing mould spores, so occasionally I need to sleep before I meditate,I must look after the physical to be strong enough for the spiritual.

So sorry I have not posted for two days.

Kind Regards Billy.

[peteyzen]

Bless You Billy

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by peteyzen

Bless You Billy

Cheers big ears!

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello,
Well I again had to forgo my meditation,I still say a prayer for my brother every night before bed,but I am going back to my old sleeping 4-5 times a day habit mainly because I am up at 2 am or 4 am,and its a broken sleep that drives me mad, no crazy is a better word!

But I lay in my bed not on it because I was cold and promptly fell asleep for 2 hours, that's 2 hours of wasted daylight,that's 2 hours of lost conscious thought in la-la land, see my specialists on 15th May,hope they find some way to help me,I certainly need it!

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello,
Well I put my meditation off yesterday and napped instead, I really feel like a fake if I say I am going to meditate and don't do it!
So I tell the truth and that's the best way to be I think,but that nap restores me,its what I really need after a sleepless night.

But stayed up as late as I could last night,I kneeled next to my bed to say prayers for a few folk I know who are struggling with health issues,and the funny thing is that all the lights in my home are switched off,it is inky black,but, when I am praying it seems as though I have a very subdued but rose coloured glow emanating from my head,its like I have waves of rose coloured light cascading down my forehead,as soon as I open my eyes its pitch black again?

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello Folks,
Well even though I was very sore and tired I decided to meditate today ,I lay down at 3:11,Mr Moggs was asleep so I went for it.
First thing I felt was guilt for the days I missed,I asked God to show a little mercy,I was rewarded with a field of long verdant green grass blowing in the wind,that lasted 3 seconds and then all the swirling pastel shades of colour I normally see!
I know from past experience just how easy it is to give up,in fact at the start of this thread I made a point of saying I have no excuses,I am not working and do have the time,but I didn't take into account this constant battle with my health.

Some days I don't even want to get up,the only reason I do is my cat moggsy,he wakes me and I am so annoyed because I haven't slept well that I get up making a grrrrrr sound,he responds by headbutting me very gently,then,he rubs the whole length of his body along my foot as I try to put my slippers on!
He's a funny cat,I need him,he is my only reason for getting up and starting a new day.

But it was a good hour,it went very fast and I felt like a nap! no way, sorry Billy, but I'm hungry and I want my food now!
So that's what happened,I enjoyed it,it wasent a chore to me, I am trying to heal myself,spiritually not physically.

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by Elohim

Easy way of Meditation is observing ones breath , which is really easy


Mediation is easy and free , no money involved
Just Google ,Pyramid meditation , its focusing on breath energy

Hello Elohim,
Do you ever post anything of interest to other members,or have a conversation about esoteric or spiritual matters?
No you don't,you just direct everyone to "Google Pyramid meditation"?
Why is that,I thought you were not allowed to advertise here so blatantly, every one of your posts advertises pyramid meditation,no narrative,no thought provoking questions,just "Google Pyramid meditation"?

If you have a valid comment to make then make it,do not use my meditation journal as a tool to promote pyramids,why not start your own thread about it?
The only thread you have started was "Hello",all your posts are advertisements!

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello folks,
Well its time for an update on my meditation,its turned to a nap after 20 minutes,I am having major problems with this,mainly due I think to this mould that has invaded not just my lungs, but into and through the tissue and blood barrier.
It has a very strange effect on my thinking process, so what does that mean?

It means it affects my hearing,sometimes I get alternating mono sounds that echo inside my skull,its a very odd sensation,its like listening to music and changing the speakers,left/right,left/right every quarter of a second,so I hear it in one ear then the other,and with the cold weather approaching, just keeping warm without wearing double everything is uncomfortable, but I have decided to continue as I have nothing else to do,I really miss my work as a metal fabricator/welder but it was that,the heavy lifting and the weight of the welding helmet that caused all of my spinal problems in the first place.

I do find solace funnily enough when I kneel down by my bed at night and say my prayers for the benefit of my brother David,my neighbour Leigh and my cat Mr Moggs,each time I close my eyes in the pitch black room I see a beautiful shade of what I call rose/pink, it seems to flow from the top of my head and roll down my forehead,between my eyeballs and the closed eyelids?
I open my eyes and its inky black!
And I love it too,but I have a very heavy load coming up of hospital appointments and physiotherapy plus the meds I take,and I hate taking them but they are trying to fight this damn invasive aspergilloses niger.

I know its already affecting my short term memory and its also affecting my eyes, but hopefully the meds will ease the symptoms,so there it is folks,my meditation will continue but when I am able,I do not want to do it with a half effort,even though it matters not.

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello folks,
Well its 1:30pm Sunday and I actually meditated successfully yesterday, and then got off the bed and picked up the cat and went back to bed for a nap,me under the doona and Mr Moggs curled up in a ball on top of the doona,his head was laying in my cupped hand.
So my meditation was alright,nothing spectacular to report but a peaceful revitalising rest.

I am going to meditate today in about 10 mins time,I have to go out at 3pm so will start earlier.
Tomorrow I have a full day at the hospital in Perth and add on 4 hours travelling I won't get home until 7 or 8pm,so no meditation Monday,will let you know how I get on!

Kind Regards Billy.

[slowsnake]

Hello folks,
Well I did meditate yesterday, today being 7 am on Monday morning.
So as usual I lay down and got comfortable then closed my eyes,what did I expect?..well nothing really, I expected whatever happens happens, is fine by me.
as usual getting used to the various sound's and then concentrating on my brow,a lot of swirling yellowy mist with a black vortex in the centre, I was willing the swirling mist to engage the black vortex, it wouldn't,so I just relaxed and let whatever happens happens,no expectations at all!

Kind Regards Billy.