how does a male say...??

[Redchic12]

AngelB. So funny. Never thought of that!

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I'm SO sorry!

Hmm, how about what women have used you ages, "Honey, I've got a headache. I need to lay down for a bit.''

I actually do this when we have off together. I often don't nap, it's just to destem for an hour. I really wonder if she has some kind of a.d.d.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by AngelBlue

HAL...sounds like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Can you pretend you've had a promotion at work and have reams of paper and bookwork that you have to read and absorb?
I know that you love her , but only you will know whether this is how she always is or whether it's just time of life.

. I do have little hobby type of projects I do that I need to constrate on but she will talk through it. I learned to multi task very well.
She has a very talkative nature, in ways it works because overall I am quiet person. It's a strange balance. But sometimes, WOW! She goes on like Albert and Costello "who's on first". https://youtu.be/5FsJe4DScDs

[BigJohn]

Hallow,
if you get married again, I found having a woman that doesn't speak English does wonders till she learns...... English.

[Redchic12]

Get a garden shed so you can do your hobbies in there and make sure there is only one seat that you use.

A person won’t stay around you too long if they have to stand talking to you!

I’ve used this technique and it works very well lol

[hallow]

Originally Posted by BigJohn

Hallow,
if you get married again, I found having a woman that doesn't speak English does wonders till she learns...... English.

. That's funny John!!! I am not getting married again, the worst thing I can say about her is she extremely talkative.

[RedEmbers]

I just politely say that I am feeling overwhelmed and need to take a break but I can resume conversation later if they need to resume when I feel rested.

Being nuero - diverse, I have finally learned that it is kind for everybody when I excuse myself when I feel overwhelmed.
My honesty also allows others to be more authentic and I notice that the people around me feel more comfortable to excuse themselves from conversations when they feel tired and overwhelmed.

Often I can find conversations and noise extremely painful, especially when I am exhausted or anxious about something. It is kindness to recognise when I am feeling exhausted and to excuse myself, while also reassuring the other person that I will be available when I feel better

[hallow]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

I just politely say that I am feeling overwhelmed and need to take a break but I can resume conversation later if they need to resume.

I also appreciate diversity and authenticity. But not everyone does. My wife's daughter once said to her exactly what you mentioned. From that I learned my wife took great offense to that comment. We had a little talk about it a few days ago but doubt that will change anything. Just have to take the good with not so good.

[FairyCrystal]

Most women do not understand that the amount most like to talk is simply too much and often overwhelming for a man.
It's a matter of the genders being wired differently.
Women need to learn this, respect and accept that they shouldn't offload on to their male partners as the male can't keep track of it all.
She should talk to female friends about stuff that's basically chit-chat, trivial etc. It's not that she should change herself, all she needs to understand that for most things the male isn't the right audience.

You can simply tell her in a warm, loving way, and as Miss Hepburn said, use the "I..." and steer clear from the "You always do XYZ..." as that immediately puts the other on alert and makes them reactive / defensive since it's accusatory.

Make it sweet so she doesn't feel rejected or anything. Something like, "Honey, I love spending time with you and you know what I'd really want to do with you? XYZ (watch the sunset/look at the stars/whatever suggestion) and sit in silence. Just enjoying the peace & quiet/sound of nature/whatever.
How do you feel about that?"

You could add and suggest that maybe she first calls a female friend so she can enjoy talking, making it easier for her to be quiet after that.

If she gets upset regardless, don't get drawn into a discussion and drama. Let her cool off, reaffirm that you do love her.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Make it sweet so she doesn't feel rejected or anything. Something like, "Honey, I love spending time with you and you know what I'd really want to do with you? XYZ (watch the sunset/look at the stars/whatever suggestion) and sit in silence. Just enjoying the peace & quiet/sound of nature/whatever.
How do you feel about that?".

. I think you got it!!!!! Great advice