Dream of memory with someone not there - there

This night I woke up at 3.12 to be exact with silent tears running down my cheeks, it still surprises me one can cry in it's sleep, but anyways. The dream was starting out like a memory. I was on the back in a nurse room and she was taking an ultrasound of the foster, and so far so good, early 1-3 monhts. Only the difference from the real memory is that I then looked to my left and my ex was there, close by, sitting down, his upper body, face and in front of him my tummy, reaching forward, perhaps to get a better look at the monitor that showed the foster. I then thought this is not a memory, he wasn't there, and woke up, noticing the tears. Then short time after there was a huge bang on the wall closest to my head, the entire wall was close to shaking. I have been used to strange sounds before that I can't explain, but this one was new. I have gotten so used to those that I don't get afraid because I think that I, we, haven't been hurt. Then just as I was to fall asleep again there was a second bang on the entire wall, both sounded as if they came from the outside. This is on the second floor, up in mid air, nothing there to cause it, to my limited understanding.

I have old guilt of when I was pregnant with the ex that I did not tell him and then I had a natural miscarriage. I was alone in that room, in the memory, in reality. It came too so short after the break up that my focus was that I was hurt and wanted to be left alone. Mom, who knew better, told me you have to tell him as soon as possible ,but then he got to act so strange, and I postponed it.

It felt almost as if my brain was re producing a memory but creating him there. I was touched in the dream and tears of it was felt in the dream as I looked at the machine where I could see the ultrasound and then swallowing and turning to look at him. He was touched too and eager to see.

I have googled after the dream to see if there is something about high blood pressure and memory being under effect and there are proof that someone with high blood pressure can suffer memory loss, ony mine was not memory loss, but creating someone fake in the memory that did not have a chance to be there. (I have high blood pressure now)

I wonder what this could be about? Do anyone have a guess?


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Same thing following night. Things are starting out like a memory but then things get to be "alive" and I know that is not how it went down and then I wake up.

This time it was when he forced himself inconvinently into my work space and asked what he was going to do with all my stuff (at his place). I told him to get rid of it or burn it. I had decided I was never ever going back to that place. I knew, but he did not know that I knew, that he dated someone already, I had been quickly replaced, saw their photo on a party where I use to sit beside him. Already? I wondered to myself if it had begun before the break up but I had decided not to ask. Besides we were two singles and he could do what ever he wanted to. But I thought him urging about my things (that he in the first chapter had refused to give back) was so that he could invide her over to his place or she had been there and my stuff irritated her for natural reasons.

But I did not say anything. He was the talker .He said "you just took off. I thought you would come back". (Took off? Yes, like I was going to stay after he had broken our engagement and our wedding plans.) He knew I was leaving. He saw it from the window. He saw me goodbye before. It was not as if I rushed out in high temperament, without him knowing. There was some silence. perhaps he was expecting me to say something but I didn't except for the burn and throw away and I have stuff to get me by, I don't care. I was not looking at him, I couldn't stand the sight of him. I was looking at the desk and on what was ont here and trying to work at the same time. I remember the pauses and him saying my name and then "I'm not dealing with this very well". His hand was then visible as it came closer to mine, and his was trembling somewhat. I remember I looked at his hand and could not understand how I could have loved his hands once. Now it reminded me of a disease I didn't want to come close and I moved my hand more away. BUT in the dream his hand came over mine like a cup and I could "hear" the words "I'm sorry for your pain".

I did not know it then but the woman he was dating said he had told her he was sorry but he was still not over his ex and she was alright with that she said and they stoped going on dates. One of his friend had too seen my stuff was still there, he hadn't gotten rid of it, and he said it was a stupid moment in the bathroom as my nail polish was still on the shell. He said what will someone think if he took someone (female) home, and the ex said he was not going to do that .

I can help but wonder if 30 years or so from now I am going to think that the right memory was his hand on mine and his words??? This is a little scary.

Could it be a visitation dream/s? Or my own projection as my feelings about him, us, what happened, has changed? (not in love feelings, but more in the forgiveness state, he still is and will be a friend or brother to me as in feelings, my in-love-feelings died out after a lot of emotional punches with the break up and what happened after. It is like two different lives, one where he was the one I was in love with, after the highly uncomfertable feeing of having him around, then we slowly worked our ways to become friends, with distant, bumping into each other or him calling, or us knowing few of the same people).

Or could it be in some strange paralle l reality that the past is changing over there? Just because I am changing over here?

Sorry for all the bizarre questions, LOL.

[Deeprem]

Hi. Very interesting dream.. I think you got it right when you say it's memory and thinking combined. Or what "could have been the outcome" if different decisions were taken.. and thus the tears for what might have been..
I feel the new banging and shaking of the wall perhaps an invitation to discover the true nature of life or being prior to memory or thinking.. mind loves to create story..i wonder if the shaking took down the wall. Would true nature reveal itself or perhaps an expansion of consciousness beyond the veil of memory and mind.. just a guess.

[Traveler]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Could it be a visitation dream/s? Or my own projection as my feelings about him, us, what happened, has changed? (not in love feelings, but more in the forgiveness state, he still is and will be a friend or brother to me as in feelings, my in-love-feelings died out after a lot of emotional punches with the break up and what happened after. It is like two different lives, one where he was the one I was in love with, after the highly uncomfertable feeing of having him around, then we slowly worked our ways to become friends, with distant, bumping into each other or him calling, or us knowing few of the same people).

Or could it be in some strange paralle l reality that the past is changing over there? Just because I am changing over here?

Sorry for all the bizarre questions, LOL.

Sounds like a visitation dream. I've had dreams like that over the years with an ex that I met when I was a teen. We had a long on and off again relationship. I fell hard for him but he would run when we got close. I don't think about him and I really don't miss him but he shows up in my dreams from time to time over the years.

[Native spirit]

Please keep quotes to no more than two lines long as they take up space



Namaste

Hi Deeprem!

Thank you so for your explaination. It felt angry - the shaking/pushing of the wall. There was this last moment before as I looked at him as if I wish to say "Now you know".

I have thought if my high blood pressure, the pressure on the head and headache in combination of knowing years before when he was in or out of rehab when he said he had gotten high blood pressure and it surprised him, at that (young) age. Perhaps unknowingly this is why he slipped right back in the dream.

Earlier in the day I came home and they told me a framed family photo had flown suddenly and should have landed on or near a child but did not. I was told this later after having heard a bang shortly after I had taken off my shoes in the hallway and jacket, was then told "Not again" and "Spooky" and someone went to get it up again and place it where it should be.

On my bedroom wall right above my head is a family photo. I remember looking to the side and it looked to me as if the wall was actually shaking but I promised myself a long time ago not to react if it is poltergeist activity and so I tried to get back to sleep and then it came the second time. I still refused to budge. The photo above my head remained there, did not fall down on me. It was only later as I could not go back to sleep that I went up to check the windows to see if any draft could have created the sudden shaking/pushing of the wall even if I don't think it could have as it seemed to have come directly from the outside. After that nothing has happened that we know off. I of course don't know if it is poltergeist, the ex-spirit? doing it or if it is natural causes behind it.

Even with the banging/pushing of the wall I've felt today at peace in a way I have not felt for long.

Hi Traveler!

Thank you too for the belief of what it/they was/were. I have had 2 for sure in my life that were visitation dreams (not with the ex but with others who has crossed over). In one I had a dream of being back in the home where we use to be and suddenly something in the dream got to be so real. In the other one it was no way near a home or old environment but still the one visiting came right into it to tell me something.

Do you think in your case and mine too that it could be something about it not being complete?

He was my first love too, and first heartbreak. Think in those days one was expected to just be young, shake it off and move on, only I ran. Before (long after the break up) when we were friends (friends as in activated on his behalf, not like hanging out, like a real friendship) I did not feel I had unfinished business with him and we were cool. He could still irritate me at times though, LOL.

I think with some people who like your ex would hide/run if/when you got too close it was more issues he had with himself than with you. That could be why now when he is more at peace or more mature that he is visiting?

I had one last dream of the ex a following night. This time it too began with a memory. I was swimming in the sea and his dog (a huge dog, the dog only listened to him) jumped in. It was coming after me. I don't know if it wanted to drown me or if it thought I was drowning. I remember calling out to the ex (then my boyfriend) for help to get the dog away from me and he began to laugh (he was on the beach looking at us), and I shouted that I was not that bad of a swimmer that the dog mistook it for me drowning. Then there was this shift and was as if I could feel the spirit of the dog and too the owner, they were together. The dog had died during our relationship. I have not thought about that dog for years. It was a nice experience.

[Traveler]

I think that when you have a relationship with someone, you become connected even after the relationship is over. I cannot tell you how many times I have cut cords between me and my ex. I even went through a ritual to break a contract we supposedly made in previous lifetimes to always be together, in life and after. But he still shows up. He was my first real love too.

I think your ex is genuinely sorry and it has bothered him enough to seek you out in astral.

[Deeprem]

Hi asearcher, many thanks for your feedback and being so open. There is so much food for understanding in your dreams and waking life experiences, particularly as it applies to relationships and subconscious memories and mind.. firstly it confirms to myself that when we go into intimate relationship we become "one" in a way.. both of you ended up with high blood pressure..secondly your dream shows that when we fall in love, our emotions become pleasant. Becoming unpleasant again when we break up. It's interesting that the shaking is connected to family photos, maybe indicating loss of not only ex but child and family as well..The dream also informs you that his hand was like a disease, or as the Buddha says desire and attachment are poisons that prolong the cycle of death and rebirth. On some level he understands your pain and is genuinely sorry. He is probably feeling guilty as well.. the dream of you swimming and his dog definitely a positive experience. At some stage in the relationship he died to the notion of loyalty and friendship (symbolised by dog drowning). You on the other hand realise that the ocean of life supports you and you can swim on..neither do you need to be rescued. he appears to be stuck on beach..so glad to hear your at peace with it all. Also how dreams can help resolve underlying emotions and mental states.. thanks again for openness and Traveller's input..

[Deeprem]

Just a thought.. I wonder if the bang and walls shaking could be a forewarning of an upcoming earthquake. Are you in an earthquake zone ?

Sorry Deeprem I totally missed your post and this was back in 2021! I have been but it is not suppose to be an earthquake zone and no there was no earthquake coming in. Sorry for the late reply...