the problems with text messages

I have always wondered if I am alone in getting annoyed with the importance of text messages?
There are all these invisible rules concerning text messages - I have sadly learned along the way....
To me when someone send me a text message it can't be that important or else they would call. That's logic, my logic, that is.

I am busy doing other things. I am not glued to my cell phone, I do not have it in the back of my jeans. I put it away. If someone calls I might hear it, hopefully, unless it at that time is some great disturbance to stop that from happening.

I have had numerous fights with someone over this text message handling of mine. What is happening?

First of all, as a mom, someone's friend's mom or dad can text message me and I get about - what 2 minutes to reply? It could be if they are to play today. When I do see it and reply - it is too late, they have already text someone else. I call people if something is urgent. I do not send a text message and expect everyone to drop everything they have to answer.

Then - and this is the worst part - I feel controlled by especially 2 people in my life having a go at this text message imperium with their demands on how I should behave with it.

I have been yelled at why I do not reply to a text message when I do that knowing very well I do that - because that person just needs to learn how to wait and I can't give an answer until I have one. It has to take in consideration other people, but it doesn't, it's all me, me, me...It does not make it go faster, it does not solve the issue with several people involved. So when that happens I turn it off, I will not reply. That person has to learn to respect my privacy and trust that I will reply when I have an answer, not until, why until? That is a waste of time, of course I will reply, when I know! But I have been yelled at because of this.

I have felt very much controlled through text messages in a romantic relationship, Iv'e gotten to listen to all kinds of suspicious theories to why I did not reply to a text message fast enough, that that was rude (when I saw it I replied, it's that simply, I had not previously seen it but I find that t hat person despite of knowing me is suspicious about this and has remarkably enough made up a bunch of theories about why I did not reply before, when I did. It's nuts listening to it, and frankly my moral code was insulted, and i asked you really think that of me? Years go by and still it pops up now and then - that dissatisfaction - why I did not reply to a text message until I did. I don't know what to say anymore. I have spoken the truth, which I did at once. I have said sure if you want to think that of me (one of the messed up theories) than you go ahead, I can't stop that, but I am insulted that you think that. I would NEVER think of the idea of attacking someone verbally for not having answered a text message until when they did! I don't get this!

It has been expected of me that even if I am at work and things are intense and I can not simply be rude and pick up the cell phone to stop working and instead doing text messages - that I will do so. It looks bad. I have said if it is urgent then please call.

Am I the only one sick of text messages and all these invisible rules surrounding it? Am I the only who has received such strong reactions to me having a different approach to text messages than the one who send it to me? The only one who feels controlled through text messages?

I kind of feel as if I am surrounded by text messages freaks who doesn't get me at all, LOL. I have explained the way I am with text messages - and still they continue to try to yell and force their way to make it mine. I'm not them! This is my way. Why can't they respect that?

Also, another thing - with these cellphones, it can give away your location, and I have had all sorts of questions - why did I turn that off? So now they can't see where I am. Well, why should they know where I am? Where do they think I am? In Japan? That I have suddenly turned into some Indiana Jones who is on a dangerous mission somewhere?

If they are suddenly worried on my whereabouts for some inexplicable reason then why then not call? Is that so hard? But no, they are going to continue force their way, as if they are "raising" me to look at text messages the way they do, or else I'm rude. I'm not rude. Don't I have equal right to behave any way I like with my cell phone and my text messages? I don't tell anyone else how to behave with theirs.

I have said if I could - I would have a cell phone where nobody could send me a text message and I could not send any to them, that would have been perfect :)

Sorry, I had to get this off my chest, LOL.

Text messages (like written / posted letters) avoid spontaneity because they allow people to think up a suitable, desirable response rather than just react. That would seem a no-no in a romantic encounter (except for administrative things like arrangements) where you need spontaneity and in which communication is far more than just written words.
.

[Miss Hepburn]

If I know a person doesn't text..I call...or text them something not time sensitive.
Some people read their emails once every couple weeks. ok.
Good to know.
But, sounds like this, "I put it away. I might hear it'' is not very promising if I need to call you, either.
If it is your only phone in the house...why are you putting it 'away'?
Did you (or do you) turn your landline on super low, so you might hear that?
Are there
underlying issues? Not just about texting? But, really not wanting to be bothered by people at all?
And that is the message your friends are getting?

And yes, you have a right to not communicate with people on their time schedule, imo.

I have tried to understand why I feel I am different than most or well all in my surrounding about this.

I am sure it has to do with a past relationship where he text messaged me immensely and there was no way I could keep up and had really not that passion for it. He would get the way he got because I somehow did not measure up. Never mind that.

Then in a future relationship after that failure of a relationship he would time me, and would expect me to at any time during work or busy doing something else I would text him back, or text other people who was texting me, and when they did not feel they got answers quick enough than they would text him and he got angry with me about that.

I have during a normal work day had to handle a lot of text messages from all kinds of people in my life, especially 2 people they make me feel as if they have a need to control and to have power over me and decide how I should behave - which has an opposite reaction in me.

I have now decided to say that I will not handle all the text messages I have to handle on a daily basis, to arrange for everything, while someone else only has the luxury to complain on me, for having missed a text message (and them then text messaging him,t hat someone complaining), and thinking the worst of me because of that. I will no longer provide him with that luxury. He seemed now stunned as he had no idea all the text messages I receive - while at work, I might add.

It will be interesting to see how many text messages and calls he will get now - so he will understand the amount that I had to deal with : ) Oh, I have spared him from all that for years! This will be fun to watch this enfold itself! Why did I not think of this earlier? Guess he and that someone else did not push my buttons enough, but now they have.

Hum, I think something good came out of this, after all. Had he not complained and been as suspicious and demanding about this as he has been, I would never even think about how many text messages and calls I am receiving on a daily basis and that he has leaned on me as well as everyone else that I will be available and arrange for everything. When I think of it some more - it is even "his" people that contact me (rather than him), so now they will have to turn to him instead, they way it ought to be. And that someone else who is pushy, I will refer this person to him instead - maybe if the two of them got together with their text messaging they would know how much of it it is and how difficult it is when it's that much!

Ah, sweet karma...;)

My friends has never been irritated with me over the text message behavior as they know me so they don't try to change me. It's been 2 people that has tried to change me, and it's not gonna work :)

I don't like the distraction with cellphones, and when I do something I focus on that and I don't want that distraction. I don't want to be available at all times. I want to be available when I want to. Maybe that is selfish, but then again it is my time and how I want to spend it.

If I don't wear jeans or any other pants I find that I have no where to put the cellphone (Although I have seen women wear it along with car keys on the side of the bra, but I'm not gonna do that) so I put it down somewhere and have forgotten where I put it through the rush of every day life. If I have missed a call - I think then they will call again if it is urgent, no? :) Or they have to show up? I don't miss it by purpose. Besides there are other phones to use beside that one cellphone.

When I have spent a weekend out in the country and not brought no cell phone with me or forgot it somehow or it got broken it was a terrific feeling of freedom I have rarely felt, I can't help it :) I was more relaxed and not distracted and more in the present

[Miss Hepburn]

I know, turning the cell off for a day is a great feeling.

[Native spirit]

I have a simple solution about this. do what i do go without a phone.
I have not had a mobile phone for years



Namaste

oh that would be wonderful, i would not miss it, i think but it has been more that others (specific others) would get mad at me. When I have on purpose left it at home to do something I feel free so I can imagine the good feeling you have :)

it has only been a day or so since my "operation" of instead letting the one who did the complaining on me that I did not answer fast enough or not at all someone - to himself have all the calls and text messages I normally receive during a day, and that don't include all contacts I get.

Turns out after only one day he said he felt bad as he had to explain himself at work why this was. Try years of it, I said.

God, when I look back I realize how bad I have been at putting up boundaries but instead trying to look to please everyone without even thinking about it. For the family to work, the relatives, the friends, making things go smoothly for everyone - except for me. I dont regret a single thing as a mom, but these other who demand much of me without looking themselves in the mirror, I do. I have too tried to avoid having people angry with me. Today I don't care. Let them get angry then, what are they going to do? Kill me? I don't care what they think of me anyhow, I'm pass that. I like me If they don't that's their problem. I don't force myself into their lives and force them to change so what right do they have to demand that of me? Game over, I say. Their time is up. Finally! Their time is up! I'm so sick (average speaking) of people who has to treat other people poorly who try to do right to make themselves seem more important.

I realize now too that the text messages that I have gotten and answered that it is not actually the text messages itself - it is those few people in my life that has a pushing and demanding and disrespectul attitude towards me at the same time as they apparently want contact with me. But are rarely satisfied no matter what. With the others doing it - I don't feel that way at all as I know they would not give me attitude about it no matter what.

I get the whole concept of why we have to experience things for ourselves in order for us to grow spiritually, as in the past when I have tried to explain myself - he has not listened. Or well he has listened but he has not understood. Only seen it from his perspective. Now after only one day he has experienced it for the first time and think it is too much! That it had to go to that before he understood!

The other one is someone I don't think I can get through about this, and that just has to be the way it is - except for me simply showing more than ever that there are new rules that I have put up that are good for me and that I will not back down on to please this person or anyone else for that matter. My life - my cellphone, LOL.

[lostsoul13]

Lol love your posts!!

I can see both sides of the argument—- one texts are social acceptance is this: they are an hourly important message service- if you could respond within the hour it would be over exaggerating—-20mins the most- I’d give you 6hours lol I’d give my twin 20 mins lol
I’d want to know where you are but only if you were my twin : I hate separation so I’m thankful my twin has been returned—- we can go about as’ one’ and she will have to deal with my avartars !!? Lol sandwich theory!!? I can’t get over my observer has a location (and that’s where my twin is manifested from- incubation is need for your twin to realise—- we are doing this unconsciously via our feelings- poking and prodding them… fumbling with them- and using them as a padded blanket—- (sweet feelings - that never fail me?!!)

On the over turn- when she was here we had a mobile and she would text straight away considering we didn’t want to be separated- as much as we already were from wholeness (I know you can’t win) but that I’m afraid happened!? We got reunited and prevailed to life as two single entities—- merging was* from manifesting came from the location of the self—- location was a must.!!? I didn’t want to loss her - like I already did have a loss since she manifested—- we were from a whole flame too separated equals —- it was a romantic thing- that she did have it in her back pocket—- and was just on reserve for me- we didn’t want to lose our way in this society… we couldn’t lose our way in our own??!

If you’ve explained this to your friends and people- there’s nothing more you can do unless your open to being a text *on call via text* every hour lol regular checking??!

The answer has me stumbled!!??

Thank you, yes I see all those unspoken terms of what is polite and accurate behavior and what is not - about text messaging and answering...

Update: the people used to text messaging, calling me, well some of them was something that my partner was from now on suppose to deal with during HIS work hours (Ah, sweet revenge!). The way it ended is that his boss told him off and the people would still try to text message, call me, as he was too short on the tone or the text messaging or what ever. Now at least once and for all it is established. This was just one of those things where I realized I have been trying to please everyone and be there for everyone all the time and when someone said I was not good enough I would go I'm sorry, I will try...(to improve). I think it takes time for some to know the "new" me.

Overall it has been the most dominant, inpatient, suspicious minded and romantic partners that has given me a hard time over this in the past. The others - get it, as they get me and know I don't ignore them.

My partner has an entirely different system for his text messaging that he has tried to force upon me. Again his way - the right way (or not...not for me it ain't).

I cannot stand text messages!!!!

I would rather email muchly........

I dont have one of those things anyway...