Kundalini Fire

[gravitysrainbow]

So... This is really crazy. For years, ever since I was about 12 years old, I would get this thing at night where it felt like my back was having spasms. It was really uncomfortable and it tickled. I would wake up in the middle of the night, flinching and grabbing my back.

As of late, I've been pursuing balance between my male and female aspects of self and having a kundalini awakening. The other night, I was confused as to what my current lesson was and I heard, "You can't walk around being a left or right-sided zombie." I always associated left/right with female/male, so I knew what that meant - I just didn't know how to find the balance.

Last night, in a meditative state, I heard, "Fire!" Then I heard, "Is this what you want? Did you want to do this tonight?" I didn't know what to expect so I just said yes. I started feeling this pressure and tingling in my lower back, getting sensations in my root and sacral chakra. Energy started rising up from my tailbone and then the pressure turned into that same uncomfortable spasm sensation. This time, I breathed deeply through it and noticed that it travelled up my back and the discomfort lessened. However, I was still clenching my muscles because it was so intense. It lasted a little while and then I heard a voice say, "Again?" I said, "Yeah, I think I know what to do now. I wasn't relaxed enough." The voice said, "I was trying to tell you about that." The sensations started up again, but I kept losing focus because I was falling asleep. At the end, I heard, "Kill her." I'm assuming that was meant in a spiritual sense, as in rebirth.

Just out of curiosity for the next time this happens, does anyone have advice on how to handle it, what to expect? I know relaxing muscles, clearing and focusing the mind, deep breathing helps. Do I just focus on the sensations and surrender to it or do I control where the energy goes?

[running]

No. But i think whats important is tthat it happens.

[The Back Seat]

Clenching is a natural reaction to intense energies. We do this when we experience trauma and other strong energies. Childhood traumas can cause muscle tensions that can last until we allow ourselves to experience that sensation and allow it to pass.

The first time we experience something in meditation, we tend to snap out of the meditation because it is too much to handle at first. This is why we get deeper and deeper into meditation and energy work as we practice. You body was not used to the rise of kundalini, so it would be expected that there would be blockages and it would be a little uncomfortable at first.

Keep practicing this. If you still find that you have muscle tension during this process, you may be holding onto some past trama. You can ask your guides where you are holding onto tension, and what caused you to hold onto this tension. you have a very special gift if you are able to comunicate with the guide and you can use it to further your experience.

Yoga is good to relieve that tension also.