How to love yourself?

[green1]

How do I love myself?

Thanks

[John32241]

Hi,

If you evolve your perception of oneness to include all that you are it would be a good start.

John

[Unseeking Seeker]

***

Contemplate frequently listing those thoughts hat expand vs those that contract your consciousness.

Next segregate the expansive emotions in order of depth and longevity.

Shift your orientation accordingly. It may take a while owing to attention oscillation based upon past conditioning but if you persevere, it is doable.

Oh! As you go about this, words like sharing, pairing, embracing, forgiving, accepting become a part of your vocabulary. The beauteous colourations of love begin to manifest within automatically as bubbling joy & boundless bliss & outpouring of compassion.

***

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by green1

How do I love myself?

Thanks

By honouring what arises in you, with awareness everything can be returned to love, when it’s not loving. Awareness that everything activating you to believe you are not love, is a reflection to remember you are..awareness that when others are unloving towards you, they too are not loving those parts of themselves that show unloving ways..

[Shivani Devi]

As difficult as it is or as it only seems to be, "loving oneself" means to do whatever it takes to make you feel good about who you are, even if it goes against any/all pre-constructed ideologies you may have about what it means to be a "spiritual being".

For ages, I have wanted to experience a massage. I have never had a massage before, never been to a beauty salon before, never had my nails done, never wore make up or jewelry and I often wondered if I am missing out on anything.

The reason why I have never had these things is because I was raised believing such things were "self indulgent" and that self indulgence was equated with vanity and that being vain and proud of oneself and in one's appearance is a mortal sin....I also grew up hating myself because society expected everybody to hate themselves...because somehow, self loathing was equatable with humility and 'knowing one's place'... especially amongst members of the "lower class" as only the rich folk earned the right to do things like have saunas, massages, drink champagne, eat lobster, wear pearls...etc.

I love wearing ruffled taffeta skirts, lace blouses, silk jackets...I have many hanging up in my wardrobe, never worn...what do I wear? Track pants and singlets because those are "practical"... because I was raised to wear such things and the moment I "girlied up", everybody told me how ridiculous and stupid I looked.

It gets difficult to change that mindset...but if I am going to make any progress here, I need to and if anybody says that I will be compromising my spirituality, then I wouldn't want to even be spiritual under those circumstances...if I couldn't get a massage or get my nails done or do something for ME, because that would take far less ego than doing nothing for me because I am supposed to be "spiritual"...do you get it?

Of course there is a fine line between a healthy obsession and an unhealthy one, between wearing makeup because you want to or wearing it to cover how old you look..to wear certain clothes because you like the way they feel on your body vs wearing them to make you "look good"...all that is just a personal thing and often, we let our family and friends talk us out of doing things to improve the way we feel about ourselves.

Then you look...they never did such things either and look at how their lives have gone to hell..they want you to be just like them, so they won't feel so bitter, guilty and resentful about all of the poor choices they made during their own pitiful lives.

Once you see this...realise this, the way becomes free for you to fully love yourself by honouring your own truth and doing whatever it is that makes YOU happy, despite anybody else's opinion.

[God-Like]

So many different aspects and levels to self as many have realized.

Normally the question or the thought to do so arises when there is suffering or a reflection that doesn't go down to well.

One has to get to know self in order to know what can love and be loved ..

So there is an ongoing relationship had that has to have a foundation of honesty and sincerity and one must own up to their flaws and weaknesses and no longer be in denial.

Sometimes one doesn't have the strength to deal with one's weaknesses and that's okay, but it's the acceptance of them which is a step forward.

So many aspects to this as stated already, there is no quick fix here and saying you love yourself over and over doesn't really do anything for it means nothing at the end of the day if one doesn't like themselves, trust themselves, respect themselves ..

People wouldn't truly love another with such qualities so it's no different for when the tables are turned on oneself.

A good start would be why is there the initial question and why don't I love myself.


x daz x

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

As difficult as it is or as it only seems to be, "loving oneself" means to do whatever it takes to make you feel good about who you are, even if it goes against any/all pre-constructed ideologies you may have about what it means to be a "spiritual being".

For ages, I have wanted to experience a massage. I have never had a massage before, never been to a beauty salon before, never had my nails done, never wore make up or jewelry and I often wondered if I am missing out on anything.

The reason why I have never had these things is because I was raised believing such things were "self indulgent" and that self indulgence was equated with vanity and that being vain and proud of oneself and in one's appearance is a mortal sin....I also grew up hating myself because society expected everybody to hate themselves...because somehow, self loathing was equatable with humility and 'knowing one's place'... especially amongst members of the "lower class" as only the rich folk earned the right to do things like have saunas, massages, drink champagne, eat lobster, wear pearls...etc.

I love wearing ruffled taffeta skirts, lace blouses, silk jackets...I have many hanging up in my wardrobe, never worn...what do I wear? Track pants and singlets because those are "practical"... because I was raised to wear such things and the moment I "girlied up", everybody told me how ridiculous and stupid I looked.

It gets difficult to change that mindset...but if I am going to make any progress here, I need to and if anybody says that I will be compromising my spirituality, then I wouldn't want to even be spiritual under those circumstances...if I couldn't get a massage or get my nails done or do something for ME, because that would take far less ego than doing nothing for me because I am supposed to be "spiritual"...do you get it?

Of course there is a fine line between a healthy obsession and an unhealthy one, between wearing makeup because you want to or wearing it to cover how old you look..to wear certain clothes because you like the way they feel on your body vs wearing them to make you "look good"...all that is just a personal thing and often, we let our family and friends talk us out of doing things to improve the way we feel about ourselves.

Then you look...they never did such things either and look at how their lives have gone to hell..they want you to be just like them, so they won't feel so bitter, guilty and resentful about all of the poor choices they made during their own pitiful lives.

Once you see this...realise this, the way becomes free for you to fully love yourself by honouring your own truth and doing whatever it is that makes YOU happy, despite anybody else's opinion.

Shivani...I am here to say, you deserve a massage, ma'am!
I recommend a deep tissue massage...often a bit painful but very good at treating injury, tension, pain, and thus, also releasing the heart. Sometime in a powerful way. I had them done a few yrs back after having been in several car accidents (fault of others) and really feeling the damage. And they really saved me, I feel. Because just as you say, it was a very tangible act of love and healing I did for myself.

Sending you much love & light
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by God-Like

So many different aspects and levels to self as many have realized.

Normally the question or the thought to do so arises when there is suffering or a reflection that doesn't go down to well.

One has to get to know self in order to know what can love and be loved ..

So there is an ongoing relationship had that has to have a foundation of honesty and sincerity and one must own up to their flaws and weaknesses and no longer be in denial.

Sometimes one doesn't have the strength to deal with one's weaknesses and that's okay, but it's the acceptance of them which is a step forward.

So many aspects to this as stated already, there is no quick fix here and saying you love yourself over and over doesn't really do anything for it means nothing at the end of the day if one doesn't like themselves, trust themselves, respect themselves ..

People wouldn't truly love another with such qualities so it's no different for when the tables are turned on oneself.

A good start would be why is there the initial question and why don't I love myself.


x daz x

Hey there Dazzer ....a beautiful post. Completely agreed...nothing much to add ;)

It's so true what you say about having to face these things and work through them, in order to accept, respect, and love yourself.
In order to forgive and to be forgiven, and to more fully heal and reconcile with yourself, Source, and others in your life.

Peace & blessings
7L

At your core is your true being.
It is aglow with pure childlike
innocent Holy Divine Love.
It is who you are.
So the task at hand is discovering what
have you covered it
up with?
Be fearless and peel off the coverings
and remember who you are.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by green1

How do I love myself?

Thanks

Start small,
be gentle with your self,
accept your self as you are right now,
don't beat yourself up,
don't let others define you,
reward yourself with treats you like and can afford,
monitor your thoughts and stay positive,
learn how to laugh at yourself,
literally give yourself a hug everyday,
build trust in your own self,
ask yourself to remind you of things and
when it later pops in your head say "thank you."
be at peace with yourself,
clear your conscience,
give yourself permission to make small mistakes,
get a hobby, something you might enjoy,
get a pet, a puppy might help you with self love,
take relaxing baths,
use affirmations, say aloud that you are a worthwhile
person but don't get narcissistic about it.
Try to experience the love that is inside of you.
Pray, ask for help and guidance.
Basically form a loving relationship with your self.