Learning without being teach

[CSEe]

Originally Posted by Gem

I really have no care of an 'understanding of buddhism'. It's just a story people try to live up too. You're free to love the family and there's suffering involved. We already know it's not easy to do. Who cares what a 3000 year old dead guy said?

My current acceptance of Buddhism concept perhaps due to years of searching since aged ten . I was in depression / fearing my own death starting from 10 years old . I used to cried every night / screamed even dare not to close my eyes at night .....and at 18 years old , I discover another " stronger" emotions that in me ....the feeling for a girl . I was very surprise to have such feeling becouse I never really care on how I looks , my body , never even interested to comb my hair before knowing this girl...my life / my emotions before this girl is all about death .....but I was having a different emotions after knowing her ........and this feeling of what perhaps known as " love" lead me to understand Mr Siddharta 2 words ...." awake and emptiness".......I realize I was dreaming all this while , I was imagining and thinking my death is real and I am real .......I understand the meaning of being awake and I understand / realize no emotions is great or bad ...even love is polluted energy as it is resulted from a desire ...............since then my fear is lessen and I continue my life until now ...............so "love" lead me to Buddhism ...but Buddhism is much-much more than love ...love is just a emotions by human ......Buddhism is beyond any attachment of any self.......
thank you for listening to my story
CSEe

[Gem]

Originally Posted by CSEe

My current acceptance of Buddhism concept perhaps due to years of searching since aged ten . I was in depression / fearing my own death starting from 10 years old . I used to cried every night / screamed even dare not to close my eyes at night .....and at 18 years old , I discover another " stronger" emotions that in me ....the feeling for a girl . I was very surprise to have such feeling becouse I never really care on how I looks , my body , never even interested to comb my hair before knowing this girl...my life / my emotions before this girl is all about death .....but I was having a different emotions after knowing her ........and this feeling of what perhaps known as " love" lead me to understand Mr Siddharta 2 words ...." awake and emptiness".......I realize I was dreaming all this while , I was imagining and thinking my death is real and I am real .......I understand the meaning of being awake and I understand / realize no emotions is great or bad ...even love is polluted energy as it is resulted from a desire ...............since then my fear is lessen and I continue my life until now ...............so "love" lead me to Buddhism ...but Buddhism is much-much more than love ...love is just a emotions by human ......Buddhism is beyond any attachment of any self.......
thank you for listening to my story
CSEe

It's a dream to be all a spiritual being, but in the end it's not all that. It's this. Of course every one becomes sexually orientated. How pure is the heart though? Is it ruled by lust and desire or is it driven by finer sentiments of purity and trust and love?

I don't know what polluted energy is. To me, love is what I feel, it comes strong and fades again like feelings do, but it is important because when the children come they need more than a detached parent. The emotional connection is still a human need and it's like healthy food. The child doesn't thrive as well without it.

There is more than 'I' to life, and if beyond attachment it makes some difference if one makes attachments or not. Just means there comes a time to let go too. A bit of suffering, yes, that's not so bad is it?

[CSEe]

Originally Posted by Gem

It's a dream to be all a spiritual being, but in the end it's not all that. It's this. Of course every one becomes sexually orientated. How pure is the heart though? Is it ruled by lust and desire or is it driven by finer sentiments of purity and trust and love?

In my current understanding of Buddhism concept and well fit in my common sense ...there is no emotion in purity as I choose to believe as " emptiness" as introduced by Mr Siddharta ......as long as human accepted " differences" human will always attached to their emotions and they will never be free but will continue to exist .........in my current understanding all the " good emotions" is still polluted energy that need to be learned , accepted and by advance understanding , by self realization one will accept even compassion is polluted energy ........

I don't know what polluted energy is. To me, love is what I feel, it comes strong and fades again like feelings do, but it is important because when the children come they need more than a detached parent. The emotional connection is still a human need and it's like healthy food. The child doesn't thrive as well without it.

There are different angle in concept of Buddhism in my current understanding and allow me to use my self as example .

When my daughter is born , in Buddhism concept her is NEVER belong to me . She is just a being just like a leaf falling from a tree .........never connected to me ....in Buddhism no doubt she is never related to me but still she is a baby in need of help, food etc just like others being so I need to care for her .....in Buddhism I need to care all being SAME and EQUAL manner as the attention that I given to "my" daughter .......and she will grow up as individual on her own in her own purification process .............in Buddhism the desire to own her , love her is , care for her BECOUSE she belong to me is actually a polluted energy that I need to learn and be free off ................

There is more than 'I' to life, and if beyond attachment it makes some difference if one makes attachments or not. Just means there comes a time to let go too. A bit of suffering, yes, that's not so bad is it?

In my current understanding of Buddhism , "I" or "me" is emptiness and other is polluted energy ............letting go is never suffering perhaps is suffering if one CHOOSE to let go is resulted from a desire not a relection of self realization .
Thks
CSEe

Originally Posted by CSEe

...............since then my fear is lessen and I continue my life until now ...............so "love" lead me to Buddhism ...but Buddhism is much-much more than love ...love is just a emotions by human ......Buddhism is beyond any attachment of any self.......

Sorry, man. Love is an ACTION. Once that is seen Buddhism IS love.

[CSEe]

Originally Posted by Rin

Sorry, man. Love is an ACTION. Once that is seen Buddhism IS love.

Hi Rin , perhaps I used to think that way but now my realization on love , any kind of love is same as any other emotion ............I still feel love , love for my body , my family etc but I realized it is resulted from my desire or emotions .........is reflection of "Who I am"........
Buddhism in my current understanding is never about love in any way , never love or compassion for others ..........you love "others" or have compassion for "others" .....is actually resulted from ourselves for ourselves ...never for others .
You are are great source to me Rin , sincerely . I never meant to oppose to whatever you said just to prove you wrong , I sincerely NEVER have such intention ......but I always challenge any thought from you or especially from me ....for further understanding , I hope you could understand this .
Sincerely now I asware my love even to my daughter is a polluted energy ......in Buddhism I aware that all beings is equal and same therefore my specially emotions towards my daughter is resulted from my greed / desire . Yes , that is easy to say but impossible to accept ........I am now still full of polluted energy , still cant accept this .......is suffering for me .
Thks
CSEe

Originally Posted by CSEe

Sincerely now I asware my love even to my daughter is a polluted energy ......in Buddhism I aware that all beings is equal and same therefore my specially emotions towards my daughter is resulted from my greed / desire . Yes , that is easy to say but impossible to accept ........I am now still full of polluted energy , still cant accept this .......is suffering for me .
Thks
CSEe

In your opinion, do you think that a female animal or group of animals that looks after its young, feeds, nurtures and defends them if necessary, suffer from greed and desires?

[CSEe]

Originally Posted by Rin

In your opinion, do you think that a female animal or group of animals that looks after its young, feeds, nurtures and defends them if necessary, suffer from greed and desires?

In my current understanding of Buddhism , all beings exist becouse of their will to exist or becouse their nature and in their own process leading to emptiness ............any female animal same as any male animal , same as any mother or father of human no matter how much they love their children , no matter how they enjoy their children ...still the emotions that they experiences whether is "sadness" or " joy" , whether they "enjoy" it or " trying to avoid" it .......still is a polluted energy in display ...........

We suffer becouse of ONE reason and ONLY one reason in my concept of Buddhism ........that is becouse we NOT AWAKE . We suffer becouse we still not AWAKE to aware and confused..........we suffer becouse we are having choices of " joy" or " sorrow" ...and the reason we have choices becouse we accepted the differences and with confused mind we creates choices .............
So the more we accepted the concept of Buddhism by realization , we will know less and less choices .....and this will lead us to enlighterned that is we know NO choices ..............
Thks
CSEe

[Gem]

Originally Posted by CSEe

In my current understanding of Buddhism , "I" or "me" is emptiness and other is polluted energy ............letting go is never suffering perhaps is suffering if one CHOOSE to let go is resulted from a desire not a relection of self realization .
Thks
CSEe

I don't know what polluted energy is, but I feel emotions. I wonder if it's healthy to use negative terms like 'polluted' to describe that though.

I agree don't own the daughter and care anyway out of kindness and compassion and also responsibility of meeting needs... but people have emotional needs too.

As I see it, when emotion occurs it is a passing thing, so happiness is fleeting and sadness will soon pass too. Having propper insight into the impermanance of it enhances contentment, and the truth is all emotions pass eventually just as any experience does.

I'm not a person who is all like choose and chioce. I'm focused on the actual intention. Conscience and purity of intention.

There are teachings about acceptance and letting go, but I'm not about that either. Acceptance is only after one first resists and letting go is only after one first holds on. I'm more about seeing what is as it is as that happens to any individual's experience.

I believe one needs to become aware of their mind's reactivity, because adverse reactions and clinging and craving go to the extremes of hatred and greed. Reactivity is what disturbs the otherwize contented mind, and 'I' is what reacts.

[CSEe]

Originally Posted by Gem

I don't know what polluted energy is, but I feel emotions. I wonder if it's healthy to use negative terms like 'polluted' to describe that though.

I agree don't own the daughter and care anyway out of kindness and compassion and also responsibility of meeting needs... but people have emotional needs too.

As I see it, when emotion occurs it is a passing thing, so happiness is fleeting and sadness will soon pass too. Having propper insight into the impermanance of it enhances contentment, and the truth is all emotions pass eventually just as any experience does.

I'm not a person who is all like choose and chioce. I'm focused on the actual intention. Conscience and purity of intention.

There are teachings about acceptance and letting go, but I'm not about that either. Acceptance is only after one first resists and letting go is only after one first holds on. I'm more about seeing what is as it is as that happens to any individual's experience.

I believe one needs to become aware of their mind's reactivity, because adverse reactions and clinging and craving go to the extremes of hatred and greed. Reactivity is what disturbs the otherwize contented mind, and 'I' is what reacts.

Thanks for sharing your thought and reading mine ...
CSEe