Manifestation Journey

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by Loftyolofty

Let you be you is what I'd suggest Louisa :) know that you always have guidance when you honestly seek it. Blessed by the father, the son and the Holy Spirit, Amen!!

thank you, loftyolofty. yes, self acceptance is important on my list too. sometimes i forget. i think that i can change, but then, mabye some of my flaws are even meant to be. i agree with seeking guidance. i get so much more guidance nowadays, and i hope that can become even stronger and more integral to my existence and who i am.

humility to a higher power, even if it is the "higher power" in oneself, or through oneself, if one sees it in that kind of way.. it really opens things up. i have little in my human self sometimes, but to open up to sources that come from far beyond mind and human personality, it REALLY helps things..

though it took me a little bit of time to establish that line of grace, i think. it requires sincerity and commitment and will on our part, i think. maybe it's not immediately delivered on a silver platter.

[Louisa]

a few affirmations to add to this list today (i'll still rehearse the other ones or i may reevaluate and add more that are "just for today".


i am venturing beyond my comfort zone, so i may study my failures. failure is often the best way to learn, in moderation, when motivation or knowledge is lacking. in such situations, we often need acute discomfort in order for us to be forced out of habitual incompetence, because we may fear trying. this is the way to overcome any learned helplessness i may have acquired. failure is the most challenging and the most motivating to resolve, if you really are convicted that you want to overcome the challenge. therefore, i will only try to go beyond my comfort zones in ways that i really want to and choose for myself. (ok this is a little of "focusing on the negative side - but i think it's better to be aware, still, instead of denying the possibility and reality of these situations. maybe one day i'll be so motivated, confident, etc. that i won't need to look at the negative but for now i think i ought to, in this particular circumstance.)


i am learning how to get along with difficult relationships, as i would a difficult boss. if i need them in my life, for my best wellness, i will learn how to get along and possibly even change them by changing the way i think and feel about them, and the way i interact, the example i show... as well as using guidance or energy healing methods to protect and create positivity in the field which exists in the sphere between us.


i am learning the lessons that come from people who will not accept me as i am. i am learning how to detect intolerance or failure to listen and respect boundaries. i am listening to my gut about whether i can trust someone to respect me and i am heeding the slightest and first signs that they may not respect me. i am politely finding ways to deflect deep involvement with them, and saving my energy for those who respect me for who i am.


i am finding what i want to be committed to in my life, devoted to and living my right path of integrity.. allowing me to be healed by grace, and to have faith through grace, and to have love and courage. to be guided by spirit. to find my right path in the world, of devotion, commitment, intuition, inspiration, feeling good, and doing whatever i'm meant to do; to use my co-creative power as much as is for my higher good and the good of all who are affected. a life of passion, playfulness, love, mental and physical health, sharing , creativity, mindfulness, and satisfaction of my particular interests. i will take the path to get there that is most rewarding and healthy, whether it is slow and often pausing and learning many things deeply and slowly, or whether it is at a quicker pace.


i am focusing on a narrower range of more urgent short term goals on a day-to-day basis, as a part of challenging myself and going beyond my comfort zone. i am motivated to do these more urgent things, to take care of them while they are urgent yet still manageable and i have time to deal with them. i will switch between emergencies as different ones crop up, but i will make progress on whatever is most urgent, no matter how boring or unpleasant and stressful it seems or how tired i feel. i will at least make an effort to make progress, and then study any failures, for potential ways to improve or things to try to change or learn. then research or gather ideas or brainstorm and incubate for creative answers to my own problems.


i will figure out whether i am meant to stay in my marriage, to homeschool my daughter, or to get job training when my daughter goes to school in a few years, or to stay in my marriage until my daughter is easier to raise, or until my health and mental health is better, or until i have found a way to get the fair financial support from my husband and/or government type financial assistance, after our marriage might end, or to try to make it alone in the shorter term..., to prepare to see how i may be able to be a single mother now, if i may overcome my health problems. i will evaluate and listen to intuition and guidance on what would be for the greater good for myself, my daughter, my husband, my family, and all those who may be affected, regarding my daughter's education, homeschool or public school, my employment, our home and the community in which we live, and the financial and social opportunities and support i can create. i will take my time making wise decisions based on information and a solid foundation of health and proper support. i will take into account the unique challenges of my daughter and myself, without stigma; i will remember that maybe our challenges are life lessons, soul lessons, karma, or otherwise unchangeable parts of life which i have to work with and can't necessarily change via law of attraction..


i am including my passions and my wellness and love and rest and getting into the body, out of the mind, as practices of wellness which i return to during my day as often as i need to, to care for myself, and my daughter. there is no hard time line or schedule or list of rules of how often i ought to do things, and i can rest when i feel i ought to, have fun when i feel i need that, take breaks whenever it feels right. i feel my way forward and respect my intuitions and the guidance and my body feelings on these matters.



i know that these are long for affirmations, i guess. i just feel i need to do the subjects justice for the complexity they have. maybe it would be good to also focus on shorter affirmations that summarize them, and alternate between the short ones and the longer ones. once i let the longer ones sink into my subconscious by reading them for a while, the shorter ones may suffice at times to trigger all those associated ideas at that point.

(and, yes some of these affirmations are "negative" in nature, according to some, but i don't think so. i believe there can be a guiding role in things like harmful relationships, and health problems, psychological abnormality (not dysfunctionally abnormal, but requiring a special coping approach to one's whole lifestyle, perhaps. i hand these things over to my higher power, higher self, perhaps one and the same in some way i don't consciously know about... i accept that pain often has helped me to grow and that things can take a long time to learn and often in the middle of a lesson i don't see the value in it, yet these slow, painful lessons have been the best ways for me to learn certain things, so i accept them as well as i can cope healthily - thus my wish to use my co-creative powers as they rightly should be used, for the best of all likely to be significantly involved.. yet,.. i also feel that much of the world is in such an unpredictable, cycling flux, that what i do and how it affects them is of little real impact or predictability. their own karmic path and patterns is so cyclical and has such a strong force of its own that my role is small in their life, most likely. to subjugate myself to their better good is to involve myself in something that is likely to drag me in endless cycles of failures and futility, because their higher good is so unpredictable and their path so erratic and unconscious.)

[Louisa]

i am continuing my other affirmation lists, but i will add a few more things to my affirmations or wishes, as it may be with some of the following... i believe wishes are ok. that is one of my beliefs as yet. i believe in gods or higher self who grant my wishes, and i like the word "wish", because i like the feeling and memories it brings me, the inner child awoken by the word and thoughts of fairy tales and magic and wishing wells, wishing on a star, fairy dust, and so on. lol

i keep getting the feeling this is a good time to wish. into my wishing well i cast these beautiful stones, watching for signs, contemplating, meditative as i see the ripples spread.. visualizing, remembering, infusing energy into my desires. i have got my wish for resetting myself, as i have been worn out with exhaustion and illness and messages from my lovely "familiar" cats (like a witch's familiar - they play that role for me, but i'm not a "witch" just a "pagan", so to speak.. lol) my cats keep on interrupting my sleep, and there have been a few dramas going on with my cats, disrupting my habits, resetting the flow to a new fresh clean space.

my wishes (and some affirmations):

i wish for a friend who is to me like the memory, the feelings i feel of an old friend, who i'll call m, who i used to have in school. everything she was to me just opened doors in my mind, in my soul, .. she healed, she accepted me. we had so many shared ideals and values and personality types. we were both very creative, right brained, mellow yet adventurous, loving to talk but also loving silence and loving to listen deeply, and with open minds. spiritual but open, not hardening assumptions. all this she was to me and all i may have over-idealized or romanticized about her, over the years. bring me, then, the ideal version, if i remember things better than they were - make them better, in fact, this time, than they were then. but make this friendship lasting, strong, and make it healthy and positive for both of us.

i wish to know how to maintain my connection with my spirit guide/higher self/soul mate, or whatever it is that heals me and gives me guidance and love now in my life, or, to alternatively, learn how to make the same feelings and guidance for myself, so i no longer must rely on them for healing me.

i am learning how to heal my energy, my health problems, and my focus and my mental health concerns. i am taking steps daily to do so. this will move every other area of my life, as i have the energy and to do all the things i want to do and as i have the mental clarity to see what needs to be done and to see how to build strong faith and belief and connection to gods, source, and higher self. and to recognize who and what i may have faith in, and why.

i am learning how to be sure that my daughter will be well in society and finding good schools that will allow her to be her own person, to follow her own style of learning, to grow in her own interests, instead of a standard path set by the usual public school form.

i am improving my writing. i know writing is one of my best ways to give to the world and enjoy my life.

i am improving my artistic ability and learning how to enjoy making art and to make it often.

i remember that every step i take towards my practical, mundane needs is moving me closer to my goals that excite me.

i wish for a life of ease and joy and creativity/playfulness, and love, and challenge and change and steadily rotating input to stimulate my emotions and creativity and pleasure sensation ability; as well as commitment to caring and giving to the world in ways that satisfy my own heartfelt love; also, creativity and challenge of my passions, talents, and interests. i feel these things are all my due, for i have done the work to connect to god, to purify my heart, to know myself, and now i just must allow these things to become mine, for i am meant to live a solitary, different, creative life. it is where my heart calls, and now i believe in a world where everything is as it's meant to be, all orchestrated and destined. that includes my heart's desires. we can take a more or less skillful path, but the less skillful path is still one of many options that is valid. most of the world isn't mine to help or to save or to heal, as i have learned, and so i can just be myself and be happy and let go of the guilt or feeling unworthy of attracting my desires.

i am worthy!!!

i wish for a home where i will be well, and have enough social opportunities and time and opportunity to spend a lot of time in nature, the ability to get public transportation safely to social opportunities and past times, such as spending time outdoors, and housing in which i am well (so cure my sick house syndrome and multiple chemical and electro sensitivities if possible, or else i wish for a pure, uncontaminated home with all the above listed qualities as well).

ok, just thoughts which arrived to me over the last few days... maybe it's the new moon/eclipse/equinox?

[Louisa]

today i'll add:

i am finding my teachers and my forms of guidance and support. i am spending more time waiting, making a place for this to come to me, seeking a place in the real, physical world where it may come to me, through gods, channeling, astral journey, perhaps, meditation, various of whatever ways work for me to connect to spirit and higher self.. as well as a place to live where i can meet more people who are on a more similar path as me, so can help me with the challenges and the deeper levels of that path.

i am learning how to attract people and situations that are compatible to me, and mirror my own self love and self worth, so they give me respect and kindness. i will find these people in my daily life and work environment and all the places where i go.

i am finding the ones who i am meant to share with in this world, and how to do that, so that i have a social connection and purpose and love, and i am doing this in ways that are compatible to my real personality and limits.

i am gradually finding the ones i can lean on, safely, and how i may lean on myself and gods and higher self as well. i am learning where to find the help i need, but also how to need less help and to realize that i'll need little outside help, one day in the not so distant future.

i am learning to respect the limits of others and to play to their ego needs and biases, if i need to do so. i will do this, because some people can only relate to me from that level, but i need them still. it's a price to pay for caring and reciprocity. it's a price to pay for the humility of accepting help from those who can't respect your real self, or can't respect reality. thus i will create the fantasy they need to have in order for them to be happy. i will bend over backwards and keep them happy to give myself more leeway to free myself from them, one day, when i'm more strong and have more resources to stand without their help. this is what is needed when dealing with delusional and manipulative people who can't work with reality and get angry and abusive and lash out when faced with reality.

i will learn how to defend and protect and set clear boundaries and keep my energy high and confidence high, despite the fake fantasy world i create for intolerant others in my daily life, sometimes, as spoken of above. i will be the calm in the eye of the storm, and rise above so that i can one day show others how to remain unruffled in the middle of conflict and oppression.

i am narrowing my range of goals and values that i focus on at any given time period, of a few weeks or months at a time,... to deeply learn or refresh a few things at a time. i am simplifying my environment, books available to read, and media available to use, etc o reflect this narrowed range of focus. i will now have a narrower focus on my more urgent issues as well as for my deeper, longer lasting values and aspirations, and this will make up the center of my life, so that i can flow with confidence into a pre-chosen schedule, free from doubt or worry, and free from thinking, mindful, unless i'm doing a task that needs my thought.

i am learning to be mindful and still in the moment and feel the presence. i am living much of my life this way, whenever possible and when i feel at peace and my mind feels calm and happy (sometimes i will need mental or emotional stimuli and may not be able to be mindful, due to my mental health conditions, for now, until or unless they are healed).

i am learning to ignore and let go of things and problems that would worry me in favor of the present moment re-centering in my own joy, beauty or truth or good feelings... unless the matter is clearly a concern which needs my attention. i am utilizing different methods for returning to the moment, and i am seeing which ways of being present work better at different times - physical, the five senses, and meditative techniques, breathing, affirmations, forms of suggestion or self-hypnosis, and mystical methods .. there are many specific techniques.

GREAT THREAD :)

[Louisa]

thank you :)