Well, I think I got my answer

TF looked like he was on the way back and said he'd contact me tonight. As is the pattern lately, nope. I had already decided to let him go today and I did have a glimmer of hope he'd keep his word--just a glimmer though. Why on earth would he do this? For power? To test if I will chase him? What a whack job!

[Kaere]

You must be a busy bee, being able to write so much and have things happening so quickly for you. I think I'd blow up.

Believe me, I've already done that and he ran. So, I decided to let ego take a vacay and I also decided I don't want to be a doormat and I'm getting tired of chasing. I actually have a busy life, so I will try and stay present in it rather than think of the "what may be's" with someone who clearly doesn't even respect me. It's hard, but I am reconsidering this TF label now.

[Kiwigirl11]

Just drop the label thing .....if just confuses things ,really it does,the minute i dropped all labels it became so much easier ...accept this connection for what it is .....what have you learnt ,what are you learning from this connection,what issues in yourself has it brought up etc ? ...maybe he isn't your TF ,maybe he is just a lesson on the way to your Tf .....just chill.... .it will all make sense one day :)

[Impulsv]

My tf is so unreliable. He'd say I'll call you later n when I let it go it took him 9 months to do so. Jan said we should do lunch it's been 5 months. Why bother saying what u don't mean. That's why when reconnect intense fear that he will leave appear but when I put it to the test he does. Only time he was consistent when together 3 month then he ended due to minor argument.
I think the same way I am being a doormat but the signs, dreams tell he's running n is tf.
Despite that all the signs tell me to give send him a birthday card.
But ego keeps telling me I'm being a doormat :(

Well, he came back but told me he only sees me as a friend. Not my tf then, huh?

[Impulsv]

Mine did the same thing but he gave me a sign on Xmas eve he emailed at 1111 pm after I said I understood some sc are meant to be only friends.

He said I explained it perfectly. If he hadnt done that id be free but I'm still hoping :(
Then when I said im moving onI dreamt him facing me holding my hands telling me " I lied to you" " I lied to you" .
At times I wish he hadn't sent that email.

Originally Posted by ksjm33

Well, he came back but told me he only sees me as a friend. Not my tf then, huh?

No, that does NOT mean that he's not your TF. But maybe you aren't his, if you are so quick to give up on him! He may be dealing with a lot of hurt, who knows, the heart is full of secrets.

Aren't you married?? Something doesn't add up here. You say that your ego was the reason for him running??? Give him time, he obviously believes that he's protecting himself from your ego!

Can I ask why you are so desperate for him to agree to more than friends, and why you are not willing to wait for him? Are you insecure? Do you have the perfect relationship in mind, not an unconditional one which requires patience, understanding and respect? If you needed time to breathe, would you expect him to be understanding of you?? Patience!

Jupiterarizona,
Yes, I am married and just trying to sort out these confusing feelings. A lot of my base negative lower issues came up recently with him, which is why he ran. My ego was very in charge. Him running recently helped move me into more self-love and acceptance. I thought because of recent signs with him that we are. I'm not saying we definitely aren't, but my ego is dying a slower death than I'd like. I just wanted to share what is happening.

In addition, I have not figured out why I felt so attracted to this other man. Me and my husband have been happily married for many years. I may need to shut this other man out so I can figure out what's happening in my marriage and if there is a pull from the other I may have an answer. Just trying to stay in the moment.