Loners!

I love how everyone has a different view of a "label", so much fun to see what the collective minds will come up with...

I was a "loaner" when my friend needed money a while back!

hahaha!

If someone enjoys spending time with themselves, who is anyone else to judge why they enjoy doing it.

I have to agree with psychoslice, there is a certain energy that is felt when we can simply enjoy our own company.

I have never had tons of friends, but i have never had difficulty making them either. It just isn't something I craved. Something I needed to make me feel better as a person. Oddly enough, when I did think that, I realized sadness and unfulfilment.

Until I fell in love with myself, I never truly understood how empowering it can be.

Of course, I only speak for myself and from my own perspective.

I have some friends who worry about me because I don't enjoy staring at women and getting drunk anymore, but that is their own perception. they totally flipped when I got rid of cable TV.

If someone wants to judge me and say I have potential emotional "fears" that I don't want to face by being in a group of people, then that is their decision to judge.

Am I a "loner"? I rather not add yet another "label" to the mix. I'm just me. I love me, and my unbounded joy is the only proof I need.

Yeah psychoslice,
Your right it is a gift! I wish i had it. When i'm alone i worry too much. People are a great distraction, conversation etc.,lol. I'm a single mom living with my 2 daughters. I don't feel like a complete family without a husband. My older daughter says it too, she wishes she had a dad. I feel lonely often. What causes loneliness? But i also feel lonely with people too sometimes, weird. Do you feel safe when your alone? Well i guess you do,lol. I don't always. What might cause this? I'm very independent in ways yet lonely, weird Any tips?




Love and Peace,
Bellasong

You know a lot of the time i just feel like i'm going through the motions. When I'm alone or just at home. I guess thats not being in flow. But when I'm at work or out with people i'm more in flow. Trippy!


Love and Peace,
Bellasong

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by Bellasong

Yeah psychoslice,
Your right it is a gift! I wish i had it. When i'm alone i worry too much. People are a great distraction, conversation etc.,lol. I'm a single mom living with my 2 daughters. I don't feel like a complete family without a husband. My older daughter says it too, she wishes she had a dad. I feel lonely often. What causes loneliness? But i also feel lonely with people too sometimes, weird. Do you feel safe when your alone? Well i guess you do,lol. I don't always. What might cause this? I'm very independent in ways yet lonely, weird Any tips?




Love and Peace,
Bellasong

Hi Bellasong, its really hard for me to understand where you are because I was always a loner, I haven't experienced full loneliness, as I grew up I thought that I better play along with everyone else, after all my friends were finding girl friends, so I thought I better find myself one. But when I did find a girl friend I felt out of place, but I kept playing the game until we broke up, this happened throughout the years until i just gave the whole show up and walked away from it. I then started to feel happy again, there was no more complication, it was just me. I believe that a whole lot of people run out and find a relationship so they will be seen as part of the normal society, whatever that may be. They feel that if they don't fall in love with another they will be seen as weird or gay, the thing is its not usually real love that they find, its just a need to be with someone.
there are those who also feel that they need to please there parents, I was lucky my mother never worried if I had a relationship or not, she use to tell me, while your single your pockets will jingle lol. There are so many that go through their whole life never really knowing themselves, they surround themselves with as many friends as possible, they will even have a family so as they wont be lonely when they are old and grey. Of course there is nothing wrong with having friends and a family, but if you know yourself and can be happy to be with yourself, then you will make a much better friend and will make a much better parent, you wont have a subconscious resentment towards your children or husband, you will be happy to see your children leave home, you will not try to cling to them and suffocate their own life. You could spend time alone and try to get to know who you truly are, go within and meet yourself in the pure silence, realize within that silence, that you are all that there IS, there you will realize that you can never be alone, how can you be alone when you are all that there IS ?. When you go into this silence you will notice that the mind will try its hardest to distract you from meeting your true Self, just see it for what it is, don't try to stop it but let it go, when you see for what it is, it will disappear on it own, the ego can only survive when it is being given power, there is only One true power and that is your true Being, any other power than this is just an illusion.

Originally Posted by Bellasong

I feel lonely often. What causes loneliness?

Bellasong, I know from experience that being a loner and wishing to be in a loving relationship with a life partner, are not mutually exclusive. The soul desires love and closeness. That's no doubt the cause of your loneliness. It's natural, it's human and it's beautiful.

[NightSpirit]

Originally Posted by Bellasong

Yeah psychoslice,
Your right it is a gift! I wish i had it. When i'm alone i worry too much. People are a great distraction, conversation etc.,lol. I'm a single mom living with my 2 daughters. I don't feel like a complete family without a husband. My older daughter says it too, she wishes she had a dad. I feel lonely often. What causes loneliness? But i also feel lonely with people too sometimes, weird. Do you feel safe when your alone? Well i guess you do,lol. I don't always. What might cause this? I'm very independent in ways yet lonely, weird Any tips?




Love and Peace,
Bellasong

Hi Bellasong

Some people like their own company, some don't...doesn't mean to say there's something wrong if one desires companionship. One can be the most balanced inner person and still enjoy anothers close company. Its like adding the sparklers to the birthday cake.
Another thing....males and females are made up differently. We (females) think, feel and act quite differently to men, so asking Slice these questions is asking for a male perspective ((not that I don't love Slice...he's a cool dude!)) ...but from a womans perspective....you can live a full life on your own, yet still enjoy a man in your life to share it with.
We are in this experience of human state, so live it! Stop trying to find alternative reasons of "why this...why that?"....we can be introspective and have the balance of a human existance at the same time.
Besides, its nice to have a guy to change the tap-washer or take out the garbage...to laugh with you and share your pain. That's what the human state is about.
We each choose a path to live by....to project and create a world of suitable circumstances. Was it you mentioning masculine type qualities? So what! So I don't like feminine frilly clothes either...put me in a pair of jeans anyday. I drive fast cars, have a drink and swear when I feel inclined to. I can mow a lawn, turn a spanner, and at the same time, place lacey doilies over all the furniture LOL.....this means nothing. It's what shines from inside that counts!!

Hi All,


Thanks for your responses! Appreciate it!



Love and Peace,
Bellasong

[Gem]

I think people like to be alone because they have the option of being with friends, but when there is no option and there are no friends maybe it would be different.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by Gem

I think people like to be alone because they have the option of being with friends, but when there is no option and there are no friends maybe it would be different.

Maybe yes, but certainly not in my case or any person who has found true inner happiness, now if a person hasn't found true inner happiness then yes you are correct.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Maybe yes, but certainly not in my case or any person who has found true inner happiness, now if a person hasn't found true inner happiness then yes you are correct.

People say they are loners and they like to be alone, but i wonder if people are alone or they have friends, like you, you have friends and do not give them up for your love of aloness, and it makes no difference to me about true inner happiness, people generally do not like loneness unless they have friends they can turn to.