Desperate for Love

[Ladyrose92]

I haven’t used this forum since 2018 and I just had a deep moment of sadness, I thought to myself that I don’t have anyone to talk to that would understand what’s making my heart ache, then I thought of this website. So here I am.

I’ve come very far since 2018, a lot has changed. The biggest thing is becoming a mum. It’s made me grow up so much, care and love someone unconditionally, and been the greatest gift of love to me. My son is amazing and I really couldn’t wish for anything more. I have been taking edible cannabis lately and I feel like it’s opened up my feelings and allowed me to access the parts of myself that I push aside because of life being constant & demanding.

Tonight I felt so sad. I realised that my base feeling behind that sadness is that I’m desperate for love. My relationship with my partner has been loveless for a long time and I’m so desperate to be loved. I do love my partner and I know he loves me. I’m watching my son on his baby monitor appreciating that he loves me as much as I love him. And he’s the only person that I know this is true. Unconditional love.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and because of this huge change and experiencing true love for the first time, I feel like I know myself and what I need. And I need my partner to be very loving, affectionate, and be that unconditional deep love.

I don’t have anyone, family or partner that loves me more than I love them and this has always been so throughout my life. As I say, my son is the greatest source of love and I feel a gift from God for me to pour my love into him and for him to be a gift to me of someone who will love me unconditionally.

My heart aches deeply to be loved by a man on all levels. Mostly physically at the moment because I literally get nothing other than a peck on the lips but in the bigger picture I feel like I crave that ultimate soul connection in my life. Whether that’s with my partner or not. I need that ultimate love, I feel like this is what is missing from me and it’s a huge void in my soul that I try to ignore or fill and it’s still there. Like an elephant in the room that I’ve known is there, but I’ve just made eye contact with. Is it a twin flame that I’m desperate for, I don’t know.

Can anyone relate?

I have ached very badly for a satisfying romantic relationship in the past but the universe has finally presented me with potential partners in recent years, including what I believe is a twin flame. I say work on yourself and be your true self and you will attract a satisfying relationship at some point.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Ladyrose92

....My heart aches deeply to be loved by a man on all levels mostly physically at the moment because
I literally get nothing other than a peck on the lips but, in the bigger picture I feel like I crave that ultimate soul connection in my life,
whether that’s with my partner or not.
I need that ultimate love, I feel like this is what is missing from me and it’s a huge void in my soul that I try to ignore or fill and it’s still there.
Like an elephant in the room that I’ve known is there, but I’ve just made eye contact with...is it a twin flame that I’m desperate for, I don’t know.

Oh my, you have just expressed the call of every soul. (Even, if it has not come to the surface, yet.)
Is it a twin flame you long for. Well, maybe....but I say what we all long for ultimately is God Himself. The Lover of our soul.
Even a Twin Flame will disappoint.
It is the Divine Romance and you feel it; you feel the pain of the pull, as you are supposed to.
My 2 cents.

I am so sorry Ladyrose

[Ladyrose92]

Tracey - Thank you, I’d like to think my partner would step up but I don’t think he will change. I don’t want to cause upheaval in my life especially as we have a son together, but I know I cannot go on feeling like this and be truly happy in life.

Miss Hepburn - I do crave a connection with God. I feel like this has been true since my awakening almost 10 years ago. I got into all the spiritual but found the lack of tangible evidence as frustrating. Imagining or feeling things inside was not enough. So I decided to get on with life and focus on what’s actually here. But I have this feeling. I don’t see how that can be filled by God in this life without having someone there to physically talk to, to connect with and to hold etc. I guess I am looking for this in a man, I don’t know if that’s unrealistic.

I feel like my partner and I connect on a soul level, and we are best friends and love each other and our life with our son. It’s just missing that romance. Things have always been unbalanced with us, with me being the giver on an intimate level. I’m desperate for that ideal relationship, not a perfect person, but that someone who is perfectly for you and you satisfy each other on every level. Does this really exist or will there always be something missing.

I experience a lot of spiritual occurrences. I see, hear and communicate with spirits etc but all of that is not enough.

I know I love God. And if this is the pain of the pull, then surely that won’t be satisfied until death and reunion with God. If I’m going to feel like this deep down for my whole life, that really sucks! ��

Bambo - thank you x

[FairyCrystal]

Many people can yearn for that.
I'm hoping to find it myself too. I've been single for a few years now.
But that yearning was at its worst when I was in a relationship where I didn't get love (anymore). In such situation the contrast of not having that is much bigger which increases the yearning since you feel daily you aren't having it in spite of having a partner.
That way your cage gets rattled each and every day that it's a missing factor in your life.
This is why they say that you can be more lonely when with someone than when alone.
I've never felt so lonely in life as when in that relationship where love wasn't reciprocated (anymore). It feels like non-stop rejection, and yes, that hurts and then triggers the yearning to have love.
Now that I live alone I don't feel lonely at all, nor triggered. I'm now in the situation where finding that love would be icing on the cake, not something to fill a void as there is no void.

In short: an unfulfilling relationship vastly increases that yearning for love.

Also bear in mind that love between partners isn't unconditional. The closest to unconditional love is between parent and child. But we can of course have a very deep love with a partner.

As for your current partner... have you tried talking with him? Told him how you feel -without blame- and also ask him how he feels AND how he feels you can solve and change that?
Often the dynamic between partners changes after the birth of a child. Less time for one another, shift in sexuality and so on.
Since you haven't been together all that long -and it's not like breaking a decade long routine- things could possibly be resolved satisfactory but you have to communicate!

[Miss Hepburn]

Makes me wonder if his family was not affectionate...this is what was modeled to him, maybe.
Darn it.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

As for your current partner... have you tried talking with him? Told him how you feel -without blame- and also ask him how he feels AND how he feels you can solve and change that?

Yeah, this is the key I'd say. I know it can be hard to have that sort of conversation, particularly if the other person's emotionally closed off, but it's better to have that conversation than to carry on as you are, with feelings of dissatisfaction, loneliness, and resentment building and building.

[Hemera]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Lack of love and affection within a relationship is probably a lot worse than being single. I know it's a horrible cliche and I used to get annoyed when people told me this, but it really is the case that focusing on being happy with yourself foremost can help you attract more fulfilling relationships. That said, I understand the pain of not feeling loved by a partner and it's natural to crave that. There has to be a balance.

I've been single for many years and sometimes been quite lonely, but after doing a lot of inner work on myself I reached the conclusion I was happier on my own in many ways. I dated on and off but no one ever felt right. I went back to myself and started to focus on my spirituality. I know you said you need something more tangible - I get it - have you tried daily meditation? That is like plugging yourself into Source and over time you can feel more connected and fulfilled and less as though you need love from the external world, albeit we are all human of course.

It's funny but after deciding I was happy alone and didn't want to look for a relationship, I've kind of fallen into a 'thing' with a very long term friend (16 years) as we both miss the physical intimacy - affection as well as sex. We tried to get together ten years ago but it didn't work as he didn't meet my needs - he was too different in many ways and I had too many issues to deal with him. But now I don't need anything from him beyond companionship and sex. I feel more whole and accept him for who he is.

You don't have to accept a lack of love in a relationship though. Accept yourself as lovable because you are, no matter what. That's your birthright. You have a right to share yourself with another person who values you as you value yourself. If your partner can't, sadly it may be time to part ways.

[lostsoul13]

Twin flame journey not for Christmas: you got both reincarnations to deal with if you survive that- you might just find that love your craving!