Troubled

[strudel213]

Ty bb car CFO USD back

Oh right. Cheers.

......

[Baile]

Apparently OP's original comments were removed...

[Jyotir]

Hi strudel213,

Appreciating your very candid reflections…. which have been removed.
Second thoughts I guess, or part of the habitual mechanism of self-removal described.
Nevertheless, the thread is still here and so my response anyway in case it is helpful to others.
With due respect I won't quote your OP even if retained by me, but may refer to some key points.
Fwiw…

- - - - -

I’m sure many people here encounter similar issues, which are quite legitimate. It's actually fairly common to have this experience as part of a transition in awakening - an initiation - from purely objective material reality, to more subjective inner experience.

You have access but are taking it personally, and comparing to personal values, etc. and because you have elevated, refined values and sensibilities yourself, there is perhaps a revulsion at the imperfections of others. But on another level they are you.

As well, ‘identity’ can also be founded on clarity of reception while detached, vs. prior self-definition and the ‘protection’ of it. It’s in the protection that the conflict emerges.

The world is also a beautiful place. It’s just that what is ugly can appear to overwhelm. But you don’t have to be responsible for that ugliness - just the transformation of your own imperfections. And so…

You need detachment, and this is an opportunity to cultivate it. Otherwise what you are experiencing is an attachment to other’s reality and the tension of the disparate energies as distinct from your own, e.g. it’s experienced as an internal conflict, even if ‘involuntary’ - and this is enervating, draining, disheartening. You need to process the input in another way that becomes expansive, not restrictive to your freedom.

One way to do this is to simply offer all ‘incoming’ to God/Highest Self. It’s just passing through and you are the observer. God is the doer and receiver. It takes practice to do this consistently but it’s like meditation - when you consciously become aware of ‘going off track’ - reacting (internally) - just gently resume without reprimanding yourself.

Another way (and doesn’t have to exclude the previous) also involving detachment is to utilize the input as the basis of a free, life-survey course in reality - step back and study it, analyse it to learn motive, means, methods of various human nature and psychology. But if personal preference as ego comparison slips in, then the judgment and repulsion can occur. So again, detachment is required, and is something that can be acquired.

If you do go into healing work, this will be a necessary training anyway, since all healers are intermediaries of higher principle and act as a (detached) vehicle or instrument for the subject’s own healing capacity which is somehow deficient or inactive for whatever reason.

Absenteeism at work can be a problem as you describe - overwhelmed by the routine of what you cannot control, etc.; the continual presence/confrontation of others' imperfections - but if you cultivate this detachment, e.g., what you can control within yourself, and the faith that it leads to by consistent employment (the real work of spiritual people) - it could be seen as a gift to have this power. It's a question of re-orientation.

You could be with anybody and simply compassionately accept their imperfections as belonging to God as part of their evolution. That could be seen as a beautiful thing and a privilege. You are just witnessing it. That doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to ‘worst case scenarios’ or real abuse either, so discrimination of context and capacity has to come into the picture, but you have to start somewhere. Just ask for assistance.

I also have trouble with parties, but I make it a point to be extra patient to be available for the possibility which is represented by the event - meaningful connection. And if it doesn’t happen, that’s fine (again, offering the result to God). But I'm suggesting that your secret knowledge of others, compassionately employed as a benign creativity, could be the basis for ‘breaking the ice’ as well...and seen as a sacred responsibility and opportunity.

It’s a fine line - getting involved and how much, but that is the risk and reward of life. Detachment helps, and helps to more clearly define context and commitment level as well.

Eventually the empathy (intuition) will actually tell you who to connect to, or they will find you and you’ll know. That’s where this is going. Right now it feels very indiscriminate and chaotic, imposing, suffocating, and debilitating. Just orient your perceptions in a new way. They will still be the same, but you will become different - relaxed, receptive without anxiety, open to possibility, and maybe greater service to others in some way (you may be on a 'service path').

IOW, You may have to learn how to heal yourself first by adjusting and adapting to this experience, in order to know how to heal others.





~J