My message

[Gem]

Originally Posted by peteyzen

I think the hardest thing to get right Gem, is congruence between word and deed. Our lives should be and indeed are our message, its just we don`t often see the real message our actions are giving out.

Well to me congruence is when a speaker's signals all match up. Their words are seamless with their tone of voice, body language, gestures, eye movement and facial expression - so it looks like a complete movement of the expression. In this sense the message doesn't have a meaning which one can intellectually understand. It's just that truthful expressions are congruent in that the collection of signals are seamless. People are very quick to pick up on any small detail that is 'out of place'. It comes down to things like sincerity as underlying, which makes the expression automatically whole and congruent.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

A life living itself as the message.

Yep.

If your not willing to get to know the person or see the person in this way, then quite easily you could well be overlooked and seen in this light, you could well be just looking for what points they have to offer. But then it comes back to how much of the "whole" person is seen and embraced I guess.

Yes. That's more like it. Not knowing a person as a story about them, but on that level where you 'get to know' someone. We are empathetic creatures, after all.

I notice that sometimes people don't really shine fully on line and some do.

I think I'm pretty shiny, for better or for worse.

I have met a few people online creating a picture of them in my mind prior to meeting them, but when I met them, gosh they were so much more real in ways I never could relate to or feel on line. So it kind of filled the gaps for them. Others shine quite brightly online and in person and those gaps were less when I met them face to face. I once said to a friend online in the States, "I now understand why you are not seen fully online, those gaps are often missing in the connection via writing, but face to face to get a greater picture of you that is really obvious". Others of course seemed the same online as they were off. So not sure of the why's.

Anyway this may all be irrelevant to what you conveying but I said it anyway.

Yep, the picture in mind is what I call the 'self-image'. It can be of yourself or the image we have of others. Of course past experiences of a person leave an impression, and it's true enough to say that we have personality traits, but I believe this needs to be dropped to a large degree lest we treat the person of today as though they are still the person of yesterday. People do change, especially if they can drop the past, which is a lot easier when others treat us as we are now, and not as we were in the past. I guess it's about change is growth and we'd be better opening up some room to grow in rather than creating little boxes built out of past impressions. For oneself and for other folk, I mean.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Gem

Yep.


Yes. That's more like it. Not knowing a person as a story about them, but on that level where you 'get to know' someone. We are empathetic creatures, after all.

Yes for sure.

I think I'm pretty shiny, for better or for worse.

I like your shiny confidence, it shines itself, I have no need to toss you my polishing cloth.

Yep, the picture in mind is what I call the 'self-image'. It can be of yourself or the image we have of others. Of course past experiences of a person leave an impression, and it's true enough to say that we have personality traits, but I believe this needs to be dropped to a large degree lest we treat the person of today as though they are still the person of yesterday. People do change, especially if they can drop the past, which is a lot easier when others treat us as we are now, and not as we were in the past. I guess it's about change is growth and we'd be better opening up some room to grow in rather than creating little boxes built out of past impressions. For oneself and for other folk, I mean.

Yes dropping is a good campaign, because ultimately, you are then giving people an opportunity to show themselves beyond all that was impressed in you as being so previously. I call this living more present with the changing flow of life. Some of us move with it, some of us don't want to move, but that is ok. We are all uniquely involved in life and with ourselves in our own unique ways moving as we need. I can only bring myself to this point of awareness and let the shared space be available as I am in this way.

[n2mec]

Once I have a copper whistle, copper wouldn't let me whistle.
Once I had a wooden whistle, still wooden whistle.
Once I had a steal whistle, steal wouldn't whistle.
One I had a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.

my message, my performance, no matter how sad it may be....

[dryad]

Originally Posted by Gem

People told me I talk as though I don't have a point, and it's true. I don't. I wondered why I have no message. How it is I don't know much of anything; then I heard this quote from Ghandi: "My life is my message". I thought, yep, me too.

That's a good thing. If you think you know the answer you stop asking questions and then you don't learn anything new.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by dryad

That's a good thing. If you think you know the answer you stop asking questions and then you don't learn anything new.

To me learning comes in two kinds, the stuff you remember and know, and the things you find through the lived experience that change you. In any spiritual sense, we'd be more focused on the latter of these, to realise things by actually living them, and be transformed as one grows in wisdom.

[Dargor]

Do you need to have a message to share with the world around you then?

[SecretDreams333]

could a message also be each has his own message which is just about all you need , as in your message is what you are

[lilith]

Originally Posted by Gem

People told me I talk as though I don't have a point, and it's true. I don't. I wondered why I have no message. How it is I don't know much of anything; then I heard this quote from Ghandi: "My life is my message". I thought, yep, me too.

Good. People told me I'm too quiet and speak very little. Good.

[Mr Interesting]

Somebody wrote a thing on facebook which sat for a day or two before I jumped in. It was about people parking inconsiderately in her city and that they should be fined as that could be a new particular. That was kinda interesting as I've never really known her yet to complain, or maybe she has in the past but I wasn't seeing it, so this is what I saw and let it go for a bit but then I kinda realised how I could approach this.

And it wasn't that I wanted my say or needed to put her right... I just, quite suddenly, saw it in a way that made sense somehow.
This was hers.
"Man, why don't WCC invent an "inconsiderate parking" ticket.
The amount of cars taking 2 spaces is out effing rageous, during the busiest season post earthquake closing down city car parks.
Inconsiderate to our seniors, parents etc etc"

Then this was my reply.
"Symptomatic of rising fears is the all importance of those selves going blind to others and we will see more as the foam spittles at the top of this wave yet off to it's edges, deepening around it is the compassion and feeling which speaks most loudly into its nethers."

So I'm really kind of enjoying the challenges of facebook and I'm just as guilty of throwing my subconscious into the mix as anyone else and that's kind of annoying, I'm annoying, and people annoy me... but somehow the sheer democracy of all that, the unbridled and unreined 'truth' of it all as the existent focus and attention somehow allows me more reflective possibilities... that I can be the pain and suffering, as the message, and maybe with as much emptiness as I can bear then jump back into the fray with my version of what seems to be the whole message.

Maybe I'm just adding to the ignorance, maybe I am the ignorance, but, oh well, it is what it is... maybe the pool, that chlorinated and concrete held waters of modern life, is full to brimming with the non-chalantly passed urine of the youth. yellowing everything... but it's real.

I just quite like the honesty of being out there and being flawed, being stupid and not knowing... then finding little flowers and bee's buzzing, chinks in the armour for my own hot air ballon of clarity.