Help with Dangerous Kundalini Awakening

[Ayah16]

I have an active thread going in the Twin Souls forum, but thought I'd ask here more specifically about issues with Kundalini Awakening if it's more appropriate to put this here.

I think it has something to do with my twin, but even if it doesn't, I wonder if a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening is causing me a lot of issues right now, either percieved or actually drawing dark energy attacks to me.

This is really embarassing so I might delete this later but for now:
I'm not sure if it was me or the other person or both, but I was going through a lot of very uncharacteristic sudden & initial exhausting Kundalini feelings/symptoms about that person that interfered with everything and I could barely function.. when I looked it up online, I found the words Kundalini and Ascension, and hoping for some way to get that under control, I found somewhere online where it said those symptoms will calm down and get back to normal once the chakras are unblocked so the Kundalini can raised and clear the body/soul. So next times I meditated I didn't exactly try but I didn't stop seeing my chakras clearing/brightening with healing light starting from the bottom to the top..but I couldn't get past the throat chakra because it seemed too damaged and hurt a lot..(and I've heard before from a chakra healer that my throat chakra is more damaged than she has ever seen - being Catholic before I was afraid to believe in chakras then so I didn't follow what she told me to do. I've had issues in the past with speaking up for myself especially when it comes to being a survivor of trauma, so I assume it has something to do with that.)

I left it at that, and stopped meditating a long time ago because everything has spiraled into a frightening hellish experience.

Anyway, I'm not sure why the Kundalini was raised, but I have a feeling it has something to do with meditating, crystals, ayahuasca, trauma, and I think with my twin because I literally don't have this connection with anybody else. We didn't specifically talk about it because that would be too embarassing - so I can't be sure this is not just me being haunted/attacked by a demon posing as him. In any case, I felt really worried that he somehow could sense it then and tried to stop. I read online and from others that somehow the light energy from twins could attract dark energy psychic attacks trying to ruin it. On the other hand, it might not be my twin at all and just a demon tricking me. The other abilities being heightened is exposing me to a lot of weird stuff.. I moved to a different place hoping this would end, and it hasn't.

If anyone has more information that could help me I would really appreciate it. I'm literally having difficulty concentrating on anything else, I feel like my focus is being sabotaged. When I write about this, I'm somehow able to concentrate, but when I try to get my work/studies done - I sense a voice trying to screw around with my internal voice when I try to read, and I end up having to re-read sentences like 5-10 times. Whether or not my twin is involved, there's some dark energy/beings having a blast with all of this.

Should I try to finish raising Kundalini, is Kundalini really a demon, should I lower Kundalini.. is there a reason I don't seem very capable of doing anything else? This is really interfering with my life and messing up my plans work/studies etc. And I'm really in a bind here, please someone help me.

[DreamKey]

Originally Posted by Ayah16

I have an active thread going in the Twin Souls forum, but thought I'd ask here more specifically about issues with Kundalini Awakening if it's more appropriate to put this here.

I think it has something to do with my twin, but even if it doesn't, I wonder if a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening is causing me a lot of issues right now, either percieved or actually drawing dark energy attacks to me.

This is really embarassing so I might delete this later but for now:
I'm not sure if it was me or the other person or both, but I was going through a lot of very uncharacteristic sudden & initial exhausting Kundalini feelings/symptoms about that person that interfered with everything and I could barely function.. when I looked it up online, I found the words Kundalini and Ascension, and hoping for some way to get that under control, I found somewhere online where it said those symptoms will calm down and get back to normal once the chakras are unblocked so the Kundalini can raised and clear the body/soul. So next times I meditated I didn't exactly try but I didn't stop seeing my chakras clearing/brightening with healing light starting from the bottom to the top..but I couldn't get past the throat chakra because it seemed too damaged and hurt a lot..(and I've heard before from a chakra healer that my throat chakra is more damaged than she has ever seen - being Catholic before I was afraid to believe in chakras then so I didn't follow what she told me to do. I've had issues in the past with speaking up for myself especially when it comes to being a survivor of trauma, so I assume it has something to do with that.)

I left it at that, and stopped meditating a long time ago because everything has spiraled into a frightening hellish experience.

Anyway, I'm not sure why the Kundalini was raised, but I have a feeling it has something to do with meditating, crystals, ayahuasca, trauma, and I think with my twin because I literally don't have this connection with anybody else. We didn't specifically talk about it because that would be too embarassing - so I can't be sure this is not just me being haunted/attacked by a demon posing as him. In any case, I felt really worried that he somehow could sense it then and tried to stop. I read online and from others that somehow the light energy from twins could attract dark energy psychic attacks trying to ruin it. On the other hand, it might not be my twin at all and just a demon tricking me. The other abilities being heightened is exposing me to a lot of weird stuff.. I moved to a different place hoping this would end, and it hasn't.

If anyone has more information that could help me I would really appreciate it. I'm literally having difficulty concentrating on anything else, I feel like my focus is being sabotaged. When I write about this, I'm somehow able to concentrate, but when I try to get my work/studies done - I sense a voice trying to screw around with my internal voice when I try to read, and I end up having to re-read sentences like 5-10 times. Whether or not my twin is involved, there's some dark energy/beings having a blast with all of this.

Should I try to finish raising Kundalini, is Kundalini really a demon, should I lower Kundalini.. is there a reason I don't seem very capable of doing anything else? This is really interfering with my life and messing up my plans work/studies etc. And I'm really in a bind here, please someone help me.

Kundalini experiences can involve what you may typically think of as demonic or negative spirit influence. If you are, as of now, only dealing with a split personality (one thought 'dropping in' as if it's separate from your mind telling you what to do, not do, insulting you, etc), then to call that a demon would be a bit much. I would just say you're dealing with what you perceive to be unwanted spirit influence.

That you connect it to this other person is a good thing to notice. Basically, what happens in romantic partnership, and even friendship bonds to certain extent, is the human mind unconsciously vests a sense of identity in another person. When you're with that person, thinking about that person, you may actually feel more 'whole'.

The downside to this is that the fragmented components to your soul (your personal unconsciousness) leave your soul vulnerable to spiritual cloaking from the other person. You vest a sense of personal identity in that person as your 'twin soul', and you receive a sense of personal identity from unwanted and uninvited spirits.

On a certain level, you did invite and do want these spirits, is what I'm saying.

If being whole is what you're after, then healing the soul complex is the avenue to freedom. If being whole and being with this person who you think is your twin is what you're after, you may be attempting the impossible.

Spiritual cloaks can worsen with time. How is your relationship with this person? Are you getting closer together or would you say these spirits are pushing you apart?

You mention you and this person have a special connection. Sometimes people only want to have sex with one person, and because of that desire, they layer the desire with a twin soul concept out of fear such a desire is not mutual or may turn out to be short lasting.

I'm not saying this person is or is not your twin. I know we're just past 11/11 and that's a big twin soul thing, but I don't even know what you mean by twin. I have my notions on the idea, and what you are, is not a notion or an idea. Consciousness is prior to the appearance of form such that form, including twins, appear in consciousness, not the other way around. What you are must not be an appearance, but the witness to the changes of the appearance.

If things are changing for the worse relative to who you appear to be, I would shift the focus onto healing the soul, and remove the focus from this idea of raising Kundalini. Healing the soul complex patches up the soul so that unwanted spirits (intrusive thoughts) cannot enter consciousness due to lack of a compatible vibration. You may nonetheless develop and continue relationships with spirits who you have a repoir with, and those relationships may well be a part of your flowering consciousness as things spring forth from infinity into the time bound framework.

Wishing you well,
J

Hi, Ayah16,

The Serpent Power can only concern you. The only relevance another person might have is how they affect your mental state. It is union within yourself and the cosmos. If you go into the experience with worries and anguish you could end up on a bad trip which will leave you vulnerable.

I understand the experience can occur spontaneously in which case it must he horribly disorientating for anyone not expecting it. As your internal, ethereal energies reach out to those of the universe and vice versa, it's possible to rouse something malign. It may take time for them to dissipate but you can do a lot to fight it and distract yourself.

I chose to knock down the doors of my consciousness another way - I have nothing to compare except they have one thing in common - without preparation it's dangerous. Those who buy their "Kundalini in 5 minutes or your money back!" book are taking a heck of a chance. They probably won't achieve it, believe what they will - but they just might and they take pot luck with the risks. You can tell those who have achieved union in themselves from those who haven't, believe me! In Hindu circles your teacher would have prepared you mentally and physically (and would probably have someone standing by in case it went wrong). That seems to have been kicked aside in modern practices.

Anyway, I know someone who does help/teach others and when I can contact them I'll see what they have to say.

I go along with much of what DreamKey has said but additionally ask:
When this happened, did it leave you feeling disorientated? Mentally dizzy? For a while afterwards did you feel totally isolated - I mean, really? As if the world and everything about it made no sense; that you could communicate with no one because you knew you couldn't convey your isolation?
(Trying to ascertain if this was the Kundalini awakening that went wrong. I suspect not - because the Serpent doesn't arise and wait for the chakras to open - not according to the traditional literature I've read on it - some of Wodroffe's books, so if you couldn't light up the throat chakra, Kundalini wouldn't be possible, not in the Hindu practices anyway. There's a lot of old bull going around in modern interpretations of this energy model. I also doubt your throat chakra could be damaged. IIRC it's the highest chakra at which the Ida and Pingala channels cross so your energies wouldn't flow at all.

>> Is there any practitioner here who could comment, please?)

Meanwhile there's no need to feel embarrassed. Know that we've all been through problems of some kind. People understand. I made some suggestions in your other thread. It's important to distract yourself, mix with ordinary people and - you don't say what work you do but if you work, throw yourself into it as best you can. Fumigate your room with a gentle essential oil - Geranium, Lavender, Sandalwood....

Originally Posted by Ayah16

Should I try to finish raising Kundalini, is Kundalini really a demon, should I lower Kundalini.. is there a reason I don't seem very capable of doing anything else? This is really interfering with my life and messing up my plans work/studies etc. And I'm really in a bind here, please someone help me.

YES!! Stop messing around with it. Kundalini isn't a demon, it's a manifestation of Shakti, the feminine, rising to meet Her Shiva at the crown. If you really have achieved this union then you can't lower it. If you've been led to believe it's part of your spiritual energy system a bit like electricity that can be turned on and off, you've been conned. It's an event about a very big awakening and union within yourself. You can undo it no more than a girl can undo losing her virginity. All part of a pretty complex belief system.
So there are ways to banish and probably the easiest is to pray; and deny its presence - when it presents itself, tell it just to go away in peace and you don't intend letting it into your life. It won't leave overnight but the affirming will help dissipate it. Best if you banish your twin until the turbulence subsides - going to be difficult but you have to remove all sources that you believe are contributing.

Talk later. See if my contact can come up with a suggestion.

[Clover]

Good advice. It can be a very tumultuous ride. It's a period of many highs and lows. It's great that your asking questions.
Make sure your taking care of your physical self, getting plenty of water and appropriate diet/nutrition. One can get dehydrated and light headed. Exercise and movement of your physical body is good to dispose of built up energy. Some would argue meditation provokes the energies so some disengage or lower meditation for a bit until balanced

[Awakened Queen]

I had mentioned this before in another thread, you may want to look into a "soul retrieval", which can be done by a shamanic healer. Just google the term. It helped me immensely during my kundalini awakening. I know you're turned off by the "shaman" label, but I think you should research it first. It may not be exactly what you think. Look up "shamanic healing" and "soul retrieval."

[DreamKey]

Originally Posted by Awakened Queen

I had mentioned this before in another thread, you may want to look into a "soul retrieval", which can be done by a shamanic healer. Just google the term. It helped me immensely during my kundalini awakening. I know you're turned off by the "shaman" label, but I think you should research it first. It may not be exactly what you think. Look up "shamanic healing" and "soul retrieval."

I agree what is sometimes termed a soul retrieval can not just alleviate but lead to the complete absence of the ill effects of what is sometimes called a spirit complex.

This isn't magic or voo doo but a logical solution to the entirely logical problem of experience compartmentalization.

The issue is that most people confuse the individual self as the soul and think soul retrieval is about putting the self back together again, in which case it's not about healing the soul complex but re enforcing it. The truth is that you are actually one with everything, but through the creation of personal unconsciousness you begin to 'seek a sense of self' outside of the conditions around you.

This seeking then causes a loss of emotional identity as the individual self and a gaining a 'false identity' in other people (twin souls) or experiences (person in future), that provide a referential basis for your now thought to be 'separate existence', and a need to 'seek' other moments in order to be whole (suffering).

This idea of actually being separate from your experience is where the suffering comes from, and it is this idea that can be healed through the soul retrieval.

This retrieval, in this sense, is not a retrieval of the missing soul or missing person, but rather, a putting together of the higher Self, re-aligning universal intelligence with thought intelligence in a way that was prior to soul loss, not possible. Your thoughts (including spirit interference) are never actually out of alignment with higher intelligence, but when we think or feel that they are, this happens because of the fact that unconscious identification is the experience of consciousness being 'out of wack' with itself.

You may also be dealing with a soul walk in/walk out phenomenon. Meaning, an energy connected with the life or lives of someone else may actually be taking the driver seat to your experience. This can be a traumatizing shift for the vessel, but with conscious oversight integration into fulfillment in emptiness is possible.

Blessings,
J

[running]

Originally Posted by Ayah16

I have an active thread going in the Twin Souls forum, but thought I'd ask here more specifically about issues with Kundalini Awakening if it's more appropriate to put this here.

I think it has something to do with my twin, but even if it doesn't, I wonder if a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening is causing me a lot of issues right now, either percieved or actually drawing dark energy attacks to me.

This is really embarassing so I might delete this later but for now:
I'm not sure if it was me or the other person or both, but I was going through a lot of very uncharacteristic sudden & initial exhausting Kundalini feelings/symptoms about that person that interfered with everything and I could barely function.. when I looked it up online, I found the words Kundalini and Ascension, and hoping for some way to get that under control, I found somewhere online where it said those symptoms will calm down and get back to normal once the chakras are unblocked so the Kundalini can raised and clear the body/soul. So next times I meditated I didn't exactly try but I didn't stop seeing my chakras clearing/brightening with healing light starting from the bottom to the top..but I couldn't get past the throat chakra because it seemed too damaged and hurt a lot..(and I've heard before from a chakra healer that my throat chakra is more damaged than she has ever seen - being Catholic before I was afraid to believe in chakras then so I didn't follow what she told me to do. I've had issues in the past with speaking up for myself especially when it comes to being a survivor of trauma, so I assume it has something to do with that.)

I left it at that, and stopped meditating a long time ago because everything has spiraled into a frightening hellish experience.

Anyway, I'm not sure why the Kundalini was raised, but I have a feeling it has something to do with meditating, crystals, ayahuasca, trauma, and I think with my twin because I literally don't have this connection with anybody else. We didn't specifically talk about it because that would be too embarassing - so I can't be sure this is not just me being haunted/attacked by a demon posing as him. In any case, I felt really worried that he somehow could sense it then and tried to stop. I read online and from others that somehow the light energy from twins could attract dark energy psychic attacks trying to ruin it. On the other hand, it might not be my twin at all and just a demon tricking me. The other abilities being heightened is exposing me to a lot of weird stuff.. I moved to a different place hoping this would end, and it hasn't.

If anyone has more information that could help me I would really appreciate it. I'm literally having difficulty concentrating on anything else, I feel like my focus is being sabotaged. When I write about this, I'm somehow able to concentrate, but when I try to get my work/studies done - I sense a voice trying to screw around with my internal voice when I try to read, and I end up having to re-read sentences like 5-10 times. Whether or not my twin is involved, there's some dark energy/beings having a blast with all of this.

Should I try to finish raising Kundalini, is Kundalini really a demon, should I lower Kundalini.. is there a reason I don't seem very capable of doing anything else? This is really interfering with my life and messing up my plans work/studies etc. And I'm really in a bind here, please someone help me.

If you want to clear blocks i would find a genuine guru. We can meet people all the time that can aid in clearing. But its a lot easier imo to go to the source then perhaps at some point u will become your own source. You and you will be one.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Awakened Queen

I had mentioned this before in another thread, you may want to look into a "soul retrieval", which can be done by a shamanic healer. Just google the term. It helped me immensely during my kundalini awakening. I know you're turned off by the "shaman" label, but I think you should research it first. It may not be exactly what you think. Look up "shamanic healing" and "soul retrieval."

I also agree with you about the soul retrieval. I just learned about these a week ago - it was met with the words "I need one of these".

Even with all good intentions and preparations a kundalini awakening can go awry.

At the moment, I am hypersensitive to everything and thus I've developed an autonomic nervous system dysfunction.

Being able to smell your neighbour's deodorant after they shower or the fish they put in their bin last night...being able to hear a car beep it's horn a kilometer away and you can feel your ears move...being hypersensitive to light and the varying gradations of it and being so tired you cannot move - it's very annoying.

[EndoftheRoad]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Hi, Ayah16,

I go along with much of what DreamKey has said but additionally ask:
When this happened, did it leave you feeling disorientated? Mentally dizzy? For a while afterwards did you feel totally isolated - I mean, really? As if the world and everything about it made no sense; that you could communicate with no one because you knew you couldn't convey your isolation?
(Trying to ascertain if this was the Kundalini awakening that went wrong. I suspect not - because the Serpent doesn't arise and wait for the chakras to open - not according to the traditional literature I've read on it - some of Wodroffe's books, so if you couldn't light up the throat chakra, Kundalini wouldn't be possible, not in the Hindu practices anyway. There's a lot of old bull going around in modern interpretations of this energy model. I also doubt your throat chakra could be damaged. IIRC it's the highest chakra at which the Ida and Pingala channels cross so your energies wouldn't flow at all.

Lorelyn,
For the bolded section, this is exactly what happened to me when this all began. Is that a bad thing, or a good thing? Or a just the journey i had to take kind of thing. The walls of reality came down one could say, and yet I found utter beauty in the design.

To the OP, I've found that the mirroring that occurs after the awakening I had can be a little hard to understand at first and even after some time. Discussions during the time after your awakening, everyone had logical answers that would be word for word what I would say. I had a realization similar to you that someone i was close to may be more than just a friend. Made the choice to let things be, and just ride it all out rather than blow up worlds so to say. I also had concerns that it may have been my desires being projected, and that was not how I prefer to play the game.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by EndoftheRoad

Lorelyn,
For the bolded section, this is exactly what happened to me when this all began. Is that a bad thing, or a good thing? Or a just the journey i had to take kind of thing. The walls of reality came down one could say, and yet I found utter beauty in the design.

communication depends on shared definitions and the words that evoke them. When you first learn something new, you don't know what the shared definitions and the words that evoke them are. That is a part of the beauty of it because you have to look past concepts and just see what is there... which is something you lose once you learn to talk ABOUT whatever it is you've found.