Looking for a reason - Page 2

hallow · #11 08-04-2019, 08:34 AM

The more I think about it the funnier it is. Think I just remembered how to laugh again. It's crazy how we age we forget how to laugh at the"hounds of hell". That's a figure of speech.
Ok here's the story. My wife is going through her "change of life" and that can create one heck of a roller coaster ride for the both of us. Any ladies reading this, this is obviously a male point of view. Younger guys, get ready for this one. Older males....laugh away you deserve it. What got me frustrated was I love my wife dearly and to know she's enjoying this less than I am. I've always been a person to take a problem by the horns figure it out and overcome. Most young males learn at a young age to NEVER mess with a woman dealing with hormones. So we learn how to prepare ourselves for those times because it's predictable. Ok so the change of life thing happens. It's not predictable anymore from my experience it's more intense as well. Ok so in this problem you can't take the bull by the horns, it's not a bull . It's the hounds of hell lurking at the door. Like I mentioned earlier she's not enjoy this either and there's not a single thing you can do. Yes you can be supportive and all that stuff but it's the problem that can't be solved or prepare for. You can't even take it by the horns because you just know if you do someone's getting hurt. It seems like there's nothing either one of us can do except to deal with it.

JosephineB · #12 08-04-2019, 02:49 PM

I think keeping the lines of communication open is so important. Like you say, you might not be able to solve the problem.
A hug can work wonders btw and saying sorry, even if you can't see that you've done anything wrong, might not have either but you're sorry wife is feeling **** right! ;-)
I'm at this stage in my life too.

#13 08-04-2019, 03:37 PM

It's hard but maybe try accepting the feelings (whatever they are) without resistance: rage, grief, helplessness, underneath all that - sadness.

JL

Flatworld Crusades · #14 11-04-2019, 06:30 AM

I live my life a little differently. There are certain things that I have an interest in, get involved in and have some level of responsibility over. However there other things, those that you don't care about, that I do still have compassion for but its not my place to get involved. I believe I have a purpose and I must be clear about what will keep me on track.

hallow · #15 11-04-2019, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

I think keeping the lines of communication open is so important. Like you say, you might not be able to solve the problem.
A hug can work wonders btw and saying sorry, even if you can't see that you've done anything wrong, might not have either but you're sorry wife is feeling **** right! ;-)
I'm at this stage in my life too.

I do listen when she talks about it. It's often in great detail. Hahaha. Joke about it when it's appropriate to do so. But it gets overwhelming at times. It just felt good to get my frustrations out.

JosephineB · #16 11-04-2019, 04:42 PM

A problem shared is a problem halved as they say. :-) Best wishes to you and your wife.