Needing to, "soak," lately in the spiritual, to connect to The Divine.

[57tcjc75]

Just sharing some thoughts & also in regards to some of what I am reading here in forum, as to my experience.


Lately, in the midst of my own much change, I find myself needing to soak in the spiritual side of my life & the way "I" need to do so.

I was raised in a very strict religious background, my parents had the courage to make a shift (I think they are twin flames so this perhaps is part of their mission, seems to). Yesterday, I devoted a bulk of the day to what, "I" needed in regards (I watched all the you tube, & spiritual telecasts that filled me up. To say in broader picture I think that the need for GOD as this is my connect & also, my belief that, "HE is The Vine, we are the branches." SO when life is overwhelming I focus on this aspect in ways that I feel a healing in regards which is not separate from the connections, yet it is center on GOD, His Light & Love. That, "soaking," which to me feels without guilt & shame (compared to the religion I was raised in, my ancestry faith belief), is freeing to me, where God is center.

When I was with twin ray, I had been through 5 yrs of awakening, to where I knew as I was knowing him, more pulled back, that he needed the healing I had (with orig. t.f. ). At that point, he was sharing (he was pretty open about his life).. as I listened I also saw tie ins, & felt he needed to hear healing words that helped me, "stay in your heart, God Lives in your HEART, not in your head, not in your emotions."

He had been in, the system, many years, as he was severely abused as a child, though coming from a highly educated family, elite background, he was thrown into a living breathing hell (in his youth), which then took him into institutional living. He is highly motivated to, "heal," in his person, loves to eat healthy, exercise & is very knowledgable about these things (this is also where he and I are very much alike, our core selves, my twin ray). He is also very wise (in many ways).

I watched one time, as I was pulled into a, "meeting," with his counselor, not of my choosing but "they" were trying to get me to see that he was not, worth? my time, of knowing & the counselor said to me, that he did not believe his (my twin ray) story. There is a part of his life, early on that was living breathing hell, the details are difficult to hear.. but that is what he experienced & I believe him (twin ray).

When I met him (t.r.), he seemed to me, lost in some ways. He would be, out, mingling with people at the apartment complex we both lived at at the time.. He was friendly, tried to be engaging & was very knowledgable. I liked him early on that I felt he was more interesting to me than many there, this was my own opinion & everyone has one.. He was seeking intelligent conversation in others around him of which he didn't find much of that, there (most of the interactions were surface & they really didn't pay attention to him, which I found odd).

I thought he was the most handsome guy in the place, & this is to me, "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder," but I thought him very handsome (to me), & very intelligent. I was not LOOKING at all at that time, as I was still in love with the then, ex, my twin flame (orig. awakening guy).

To fast forward, nearly 6 years post our meeting (t.r. & myself), he shared with me, a few years back at our last conversation.. that he healed more with me than anyone he had ever known. Of course I'm quite sure this is because for one we are twin ray to each other. I also had healing from my awakening, original twin flame person. Twin ray was bound & determined to get married.. I would have married him actually, about 9 months into our getting to know each other but he at the first sign of his back & forth with me I decided NO WAY. I could not go through that again. I also did not want to marry after the divorce with ex. I feel orig. t.f. guy, the ex, was my physical split, & I felt I did not want to marry again in large part due to this.
Though my connection with twin ray pulls into heaven, I experienced he & I, as light bodies & then understood emphatically how a person can be a light body & merge with another, as the, "story," & the, connection to that person, trumps the 3D physical as is! The love we had for each other & the seeing then, this, "story," helped my healing & understanding of the, "whys" that it ended with orig. t.f.

I want to say too, that, it is making more sense to me, how (& I read this somewhere in regards to twin flames/twin souls/twin rays, etc), that God Is The Creator & it is HE Who Creates us, from beginning of time. Hence, "I knew you before you were knitted in your mother's womb."
I feel too I am meeting & understanding, The Divine (to me, Father, Son & The Holy Spirit), plus the story, of, "we are one in & with HIM," the longer I go through this & living in 3D for now.

The love, of the closest of souls, the higher vibrational healing, having to, let go at times, release to healing, also, "God Is a Jealous God," makes more & more sense to me.
I don't care so much what others think of me, & I never was a, "kiss up," type of person, but I did use to be very concerned to not have my, image, stained, that I did care what others thought (of me). I have most of my life been the type to reach down, to the downtrodden & needy to best of my ability, this is my personality & I see it tied into perhaps some of what I picture heaven for myself (to be kind of a greeter to those entering, as I picture myself at tribe of Joseph.. that gate)..

I also see my closest of souls being connected to, tribe of Joseph, tribe of Joseph/Manasseh, tribe of Levi. Over many years, the lower dimensions would be infused with various tribes.. but my understanding is that one enters in a gate. OK if that is so then I see myself tribe of Joseph.
The others, are there, but we each have our, "mission," which is from & for God, & the connections to/with others, there.

The, "soaking," to me, at this point to keep myself centered, as SO much loss also in these, it's as if trying to BE & live at a higher vibration, takes energy, focus, looking ahead (past/present/future).
If I say I see, one particular twin flame in every lifetime, it is the orig. t.f. Twin ray is in most of them that I see, all but one, the 2nd t.f. guy, I see in them but one lifetime I see him, I do not see myself there. Latest t.f. guy, I picture him perhaps in all ... but not the detail that I feel I see with orig t.f. & again, I see myself closest to, twin ray & 2nd t.f. guy in heaven, the others there but all of us doing what we love & surrounded by soul family.. in the 1000 yr reign.. after that, when The Kingdom comes down from heaven, perhaps then we are all together same place, but with greater understanding.

Too, going through all of this, I feel is in part, God's revealing, The Mysteries of Heaven. I try, to not get side tracked however I also feel having been opened up to, these aspects of heaven, is truly a blessing.
As to my own need to, let go, & let God, it is still something I work on.
My need to receive the kudos, from those close to me is very 3D & it's really not me .. I don't like to, "fit in," for the sake of fitting in.. I want to matter. For this is 3D & there are much higher dimensions than this. God's In Charge & I turn this to him, in particular when the confusion, anxiety & stress mount. With the closest of souls in particular, it's not having to be together, but a knowing we are never apart. We are one in & with HIM.
My need to, soak in the mysteries of heaven, expanding, to love, BE where I can hear His Word, worship & loved on in my being.

I know we are all here not at the same place, but there are times, my energy needs to connect & it feels crazy because I never BEFORE felt this awareness & the day to day at times depressing situations life brings, now it is as if I'm trying to smash myself into 3D. (I believe) God's In Charge, & to focus on this, as an uptick in dimensions nears.