Healthy Relationships

[Gem]

Hey,

I was just thinking that people who are in great relationships have a lot going for them... and I wondered what are the real ingredients for a healthy relationship.

[John32241]

Hey There,

Great Question!!

As I see these things it is mutual respect. It is a very hard concept to understand because every person 'thinks' they now and practice it properly.

Consider the circumstances where 'your truth' on a given matter does not align with the 'authentic truth' of your partner or a person you are in a relationship with. It could be a big issue or just an inclination or personal preference. Can you see the value of another authentic truth as dearly as your own?

John

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by John32241

Hey There,

Great Question!!

As I see these things it is mutual respect. It is a very hard concept to understand because every person 'thinks' they now and practice it properly.

Consider the circumstances where 'your truth' on a given matter does not align with the 'authentic truth' of your partner or a person you are in a relationship with. It could be a big issue or just an inclination or personal preference. Can you see the value of another authentic truth as dearly as your own?

John

A beautiful response, John.

Peace & blessings,
7L

Trust, freedom, support and understanding. The four big ones for me.

Chemistry/Connection - emotional, physical, and spiritual
Communication
Trust
Friendship
Support
Balanced needs, strengths, and weakness
Compatible dysfunctions

[Clover]

Communication is key.

Accepting that you and your partner are two completely different people.

Accepting imperfection.

Trus is the big one.

[muileag]

Originally Posted by Nada

Chemistry/Connection - emotional, physical, and spiritual
Communication
Trust
Friendship
Support
Balanced needs, strengths, and weakness
Compatible dysfunctions

Knowledgeable nutshell, Nada (especially the last item on your list!)

Communication (both giving and receiving honestly) is paramount, in my experience.

Originally Posted by Nada

Chemistry/Connection - emotional, physical, and spiritual
Communication
Trust
Friendship
Support
Balanced needs, strengths, and weakness
Compatible dysfunctions

I posted the above reply from my left brain without considering the truth of the universe...

I once asked a lady who was married to her late husband for almost 40 years how her marriage was.
She described her marriage simple with one word ..... "Honeymoon, my marriage was a honeymoon."

When I asked her what is the secret to such happy marriage, she answered again with one word...."Soulmates, he was my soulmate. we had our ups and downs. But we were soulmates so nothing mattered"

Her husband passed away 10 years ago. Last several years, her daughter has been trying to match her with other gentlemen because she does not want her mother to be lonely. But the old lady has been declining any dates.
When I asked her why, she told me, "My husband is still with me. He had never left me and we still meet in dreams."

So, in truth, all the 'qualities for a perfect relationship partner' do not matter.
If you are meant to meet and to be with your soulmate, you will have a great relationship.

Therefore my revised answer is... "Fate"

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Nada

Chemistry/Connection - emotional, physical, and spiritual
Communication
Trust
Friendship
Support
Balanced needs, strengths, and weakness
Compatible dysfunctions

Originally Posted by Nada

I posted the above reply from my left brain without considering the truth of the universe...

I once asked a lady who was married to her late husband for almost 40 years how her marriage was.
She described her marriage simple with one word ..... "Honeymoon, my marriage was a honeymoon."

When I asked her what is the secret to such happy marriage, she answered again with one word...."Soulmates, he was my soulmate. we had our ups and downs. But we were soulmates so nothing mattered"

Her husband passed away 10 years ago. Last several years, her daughter has been trying to match her with other gentlemen because she does not want her mother to be lonely. But the old lady has been declining any dates.
When I asked her why, she told me, "My husband is still with me. He had never left me and we still meet in dreams."

So, in truth, all the 'qualities for a perfect relationship partner' do not matter.
If you are meant to meet and to be with your soulmate, you will have a great relationship.

Therefore my revised answer is... "Fate"

Nada...also a beautiful response.
I'd say...if we are lucky, we get the soulmate who is on the same page and wants to be with us. In that case, then yes, we can nearly always make it work, because the love is already there, and we just get to rediscover it all over again day by day.

If we are perhaps a bit less lucky, like most of humanity, then your first answer holds. That is what we do...if no close soulmate -- if or none who can or will step up to be with us, whichever -- then often, at some point, we may and often will accept a loving and respectful companion in our lives if we find one, and we make the best of it

Unfortunately, as you and I have both discovered, there is no easy way to resolve some differences when there is no deep soul resonance. You really do need that care and respect to be stable and enduring in your partner. And you really do need their character & their mental & emotional state to be stable & enduring as well. Because that IS the foundation. You have no deeper mutual well (a deep soul connection and a deep love) from which to draw. Otherwise we would probably just walk, particularly if we are not extremely young & naive. That's life, as they say, eh? Asi es la vida...

On the other hand, life with an unstable, hot or cold and disrespectful, or unkind soul connection would also be hell, and yet the love might keep you around for years of suffering. And so, in the end, I think your first list is the one that you will go to, no matter what.

Now if you should ALSO find a soulmate who is all that good stuff, well that's pure gravy which you should go sop up immediately!

Peace & blessings
7L

[Gem]

Even if I did have highly developed attributes such as those listed, there is something more subtle which probably starts with the initial attraction in most cases, not discounting the physical aspects.

It's more like, mmmmm he's cute, she's pretty or



That can be a passing thing, or else, for some very mysterious reason the mind keeps coming back to someone, so there must be some kind of deeper interest going on there... and that's when it starts to be more like this: