Individuality in the afterlife

[Plaxx]

Hi guys,

I was wondering whether one's soul retains any kind of "individuality" after death. I would like to get an answer from someone who actually had a near death experience.
All of those who come back to life say that they "felt one with god". Does this in any way mean that our individuality is just a temporary expression of the whole? i.e. it's not really part of the whole but rather the whole itself. And in that case, wouldn't that be a little depressing? To know that after all nothing really matters and you are just a vehicle for God to explore and express itself? Many who had a near death experience also say that they did retain individuality but as a drop of water in the ocean. I'm a little confused. If we don't retain individuality, does that mean that our soul vanishes into the whole?

If we have always existed as spiritual beings, as many near death experiencers say, have we always existed as God or have we always existed as spiritual beings who form a collective consciousness, which is God, individually?

Would be grateful to have some interesting insights and, again, to get an answer from someone who has actually experienced an NDE first-hand.

Thank you