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29-11-2010, 11:34 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,944
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How Do You Parent a Dark Entity?
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29-11-2010, 11:38 PM
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Master
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,734
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smile, and give him Love...i was one of those kind of kids once, but i had no one to give me Love, i had to learn It the hard way, but my advice is good, and it's also True...
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"Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu, Buddhist, Sufi, or Zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not from the East or the West, not out of the ocean or up from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all... I belong to the Beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being."
Rumi
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29-11-2010, 11:56 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,944
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Shabda
smile, and give him Love...i was one of those kind of kids once, but i had no one to give me Love, i had to learn It the hard way, but my advice is good, and it's also True...
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Yes...you mean...turn the other cheek... they're both black and blue...easy to say, not easy to do :-(
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30-11-2010, 12:28 AM
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Master
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,734
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Uma
Yes...you mean...turn the other cheek... they're both black and blue...easy to say, not easy to do :-(
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i mean more than that actually...literally, in the name of whichever Divinity is dear to you, give him Divine Love, no need to speak outwardly if you wish...wow, he must be worse than i was, i didnt hit or smack people at all...he IS 19, if he gets out of hand and smacks or hits you, call the police, let him spend a night in the tank to think about what he's done, sometimes tough love is required, but that is for you to decide...good luck... 
__________________
"Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu, Buddhist, Sufi, or Zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not from the East or the West, not out of the ocean or up from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all... I belong to the Beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being."
Rumi
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25-12-2010, 08:19 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 678
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Shabda
i mean more than that actually...literally, in the name of whichever Divinity is dear to you, give him Divine Love, no need to speak outwardly if you wish...wow, he must be worse than i was, i didnt hit or smack people at all...he IS 19, if he gets out of hand and smacks or hits you, call the police, let him spend a night in the tank to think about what he's done, sometimes tough love is required, but that is for you to decide...good luck... |
That's actually not very good advice. I was friends with a kid whose mom called the cops on him all the time for silly things and he ended up having to go to a youth shelter first where he was beat up and then juvenile prison later. Mom wised up at the last minute and ran away with him in the dark of the night before he could be hauled off to jail and told no one where they were going. I didn't hear from him again till years later.
Unfortunately there just isn't any justice in the justice system. Most people in prison have barely done anything wrong. Serving hard sentences for petty crimes or just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Meanwhile the most psychopathic and dangerous of criminals rule the planet.
Back to the original point though. It's really hard to be a teenager and parents often do not and cannot understand what kids are going through. But he's an adult now. See if you can take a break from him for a while. Maybe send him to live with his Dad, uncle, or grandparent for a while. Or better yet send him off to college.
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30-11-2010, 12:49 AM
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Uma
Yes...you mean...turn the other cheek... they're both black and blue...easy to say, not easy to do :-(
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Uma, I have 5 kids. Only the youngest has never given me grief, my son. If this son is hitting you or even gesturing in a threatening manner; he goes!!!
Sometimes in trying to be spiritual we forget to be logical and human. Lack of respect for you is the lack of respect for authority and that leads to jail or worse. Tough love is hard for both parent and kid. If you have tried other ways, which I am sure that you have, it isn't working. "definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.'
Anytime that you want to talk with someone who has been through it, please feel free.
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30-11-2010, 01:39 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,944
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Summerland
If you have tried other ways, which I am sure that you have, it isn't working. "definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.'
Anytime that you want to talk with someone who has been through it, please feel free. |
Yes it's definitely insane - a toxic relationship!
Thanks Summerland 
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30-11-2010, 12:36 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 5,689
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Are you a single parent? What my dad did was this...ignored us. He just plain ignored us when we were moody etc.
Spiritlite.
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30-11-2010, 12:53 AM
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Uma...
It sounds like a pretty normal teen: mood swings, questioning everything, driving you crazy. Has he had a physical recently to make sure his thyroid is ok? There are a couple of really good books that might help:
Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries (Robert Mackenzie)
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families (Stephen Covey)
I think that you'll find these two books as useful as I have.
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30-11-2010, 01:19 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 5,689
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Sometimes I'm glad I don't have kids :)
Spiritlite.
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