Being at peace around negative people

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by Tera's_Party

Then sometimes nothing works, sweetheart. If you're not physical danger then that's a good thing.

Thanks, hon....

Originally Posted by Starbuck

This is a big issue for me as I spend a reasonable amount of time with someone who is a 'complainer' and always seems to be looking for things in the world to be upset or angry about.

I don't find it as difficult to be around her as I used to though. For one thing, the more at peace I am inside myself, the less it affects me. It's water off a duck's back when I feel content. She may be talking about what she dispproves off and I will be sympathetic, but I'm not in the same place. I guess that's what detachment is about.

Also, I am now aware of my own role in the dynamic. It's impossible to separate a person from the relational system they playing their part in. I used to get frustrated and irritated with my friend very often as I felt she was taking away my sense of peace and posivitity. Then one day I took a long, hard, uncomfortable look at myself and realised that I'm unconsciously contributing to the dynamic we have created together. I may say something innocent that I'm a little disappointed about, then my friend will latch onto and complain about it, leading to my subsquent irritation. It was as if my friend was acting out my own inner angst and unconsciously I knew she'd do it. Once I became aware and owned my role I could empower myself to change it. Things with my friend are now better. She has her own choices to make of course, but I have more power in the dynamic than I first realised.

You have pretty much summed up exactly this friend I have right now. In the past I would normally let go of someone like her, but I wanted to try something different and see if I could just appreciate her exactly as she is with no desire to change a thing. After all, I used to be a big pain for other people and they put up with me. What kind of friend would I be if she has to be just so anyway?

This time I won't try to change her views. I won't ask her to do anything for me. If she feels like complaining. I'll just let her speak until her little hearts content. If she says something I disagree with, I won't say anything. I have other friends who are supportive of me, who I can have more fun with so I won't need her to do anything in return.

I recently had a chance to talk to an energy healer about this. He told me that when you know you're going to come in contact with someone with a lot of negative energy, you can picture yourself being surrounded almost in a bubble so their negative energy won't get it. Since then i've been trying this out and it definitely helps. I have to use this with the boyfriends mother and sister in law ahah :x

Originally Posted by Freckles

I recently had a chance to talk to an energy healer about this. He told me that when you know you're going to come in contact with someone with a lot of negative energy, you can picture yourself being surrounded almost in a bubble so their negative energy won't get it. Since then i've been trying this out and it definitely helps. I have to use this with the boyfriends mother and sister in law ahah :x

Sounds like one good method. The key I think is all about releasing resistance. The more the better.

When around negative people.....learn to use your "eyes"

Originally Posted by Mr.Whitmore

When around negative people.....learn to use your "eyes"

What do you mean?

Originally Posted by Tera's_Party

What do you mean?

You can remove negativity from people with your eyes....Emit positivity with yours......do you know this stare?

You can do this to highly egotistical people too........they cave in....and lose their ego

You can control the convo and negativity.........but don't abuse it. Negativity doesn't like being confronted with positive eyes.

A one on one conversation is usually eye to eye contact...........its basically a battle for control.......the game is ....negativity vs. positivity...........train for it

Originally Posted by Mr.Whitmore

You can remove negativity from people with your eyes....Emit positivity with yours......do you know this stare?

You can do this to highly egotistical people too........they cave in....and lose their ego

You can control the convo and negativity.........but don't abuse it. Negativity doesn't like being confronted with positive eyes.

A one on one conversation is usually eye to eye contact...........its basically a battle for control.......the game is ....negativity vs. positivity...........train for it

Over these past few weeks I have had shift in my thinking. I am finding myself wanting to appreciate others exactly where they are at whether or not they are acting negative or positive. If I were to try and change a person because I didn't like what I was seeing then that wouldn't help them or me. Not only that my interference would be undermining development and blocking their self expression. Instead I would rather find all the aspects about them I appreciate and focus on those. It's a little bit challenging at first but it's worth the effort.