A Downward Turn

[Nan948]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Well this is something that I think only others on this strange journey can understand and so asking for your support in this.

As some know I met my tf as a child, dated in early 20s, then we separated and lived our own separate lives with no contact for 20 years. Then he came back about 2 years ago.

As we reconnected, texted, talked on the phone and eventually saw each other again, I was extremely happy, all the love and feelings returned. He knows how I feel, I expressed interest in rekindling the relationship, but we landed as just good friends. He's divorced and had been dating, but not seriously. I have now found out that he was not completely honest, that he actually is now living with this woman. I have met her and we got along well.

I seemed to be able to sense this and I "knew" before it all came out, so really not much of a surprise. He and I have always had strong telepathy, even as kids, so I already was sensing this was going on, so this is more of a confirmation.

He is confused as to why he was not able to tell me. Even though I gave him every opportunity to tell me he was in a serious relationship, he never told me, saying it was not serious.

Right now I just need some support. I am feeling foolish that I could have feelings for him again, embarrassed at seeing friends who thought things would work out between us, hurt he was not honest with me. And just bad that she is living in his house with him.

I have told him I will be leaving him alone and it is up to him to come to me. I know he and I will always be connected spiritually, we have love for each other. This is hard though, he is my best friend and I don't really want to lose him, but not sure I can stay friends knowing all this.

I'm an adult, I will take this one day at a time and see how it goes.

Right now I just need some understanding and support as I go through this huge challenge.

Thank you all for reading.

Don't feel bad. His lying is on him, not you. You were open and honest with your situation and your feelings. He should have been open and honest with his.

He sounds like he has a lot of inner work to do. I would leave him to it.

[Emm]

As sorry as I am that you're going through this I have to say I'm not surprised. There is something about this type of relationship that just cannot be together physically I'm afraid. It seems that as well as the attraction between the pair there is an equal resistance. Its possibly why he's feeling confused.

Don't take it personally...I think you would be surprised with your own reaction if he suddenly turned around and said he wanted you. As much as you believe this was what you ideally preferred I can guarantee you would have run. The energy is too intense, imagine looking into a mirror and the glaring light of the sun is reflecting back at you...all you can do is shield your eyes and look away...thats the effect twins have on each other when you both totally let your guards down

Going within is a good idea, in fact its where this was destined to go. Don't overthink things, allow you heart to guide you....don't mistake the pain you're feeling as evidence of love...its only evidence that your heart mind and the physical mind are not aligned...let the mind go quiet and then see how the pain goes away too.

There's a bond between twins, if you look into it you'll know that it goes beyond any relationship you can name, but despite this you have to allow them their own path and with your blessing. It doesn't mean you cannot be friends...friendships can last much longer than any romantic relationship and you can pick things up from where you left off at any time, just like you have in the past.

And don't forget to live, you too have your own path, follow your own joy that you've probably put on hold waiting for things to work out between you.

So don't say anything you might regret later...it isn't his fault or yours, its just the way this works out...maybe later if you go deep enough you'll find answers and make peace with all this. It can be done

[ssdm1]

HUGE SHIFT in this. I've gone from devastated to ecstatic!

I heard from him out of the blue early this morning. He's processed it all and I've heard the words I've been longing to hear from him. I never thought this was possible.

I'm still holding back a little, allowing him more time to deal with his stuff, but I know which track we are on now.

Wow is this the strangest journey ever.

[Akira]

[FairyCrystal]

Wonderful!
I think at the mo many are confused. So much has happened in August with all the shifts. It takes time to process all that.

Wishing you all the best!

[MissTetley]

It's all a lesson to love yourself more then he would know he had no reason to lie, there is no 'losing' of either one of you no matter what you both do or who either is with and you would not feel any pain from what he does as it wouldn't impact on you at all. Truly heal by loving yourself and help yourself to love yourself by listening to hypnotherapy you tube videos on the subject. There are some good ones on there.

I recently discovered that truly loving myself has reduced my physical aches and pains too.

To feel anguish and despair really are clues that you aren't loving yourself enough. You know how in the old way of conducting a relationship once you felt loved you felt high on life as if nothing could touch you, well loving yourself can put you in that place. It's a very painful route to reach it and I speak from experience and I'm also not convinced I've fully attained it but I'm so much better than I was.