Looking for an answer

I had posted a little of this into a pretty much unrelated thread, so I took that out, and I'm making my own, heh. I feel like I am at sort of a standstill here. I haven't been a member here too long, but I did post the short version of my story as my first post. I was a complete disaster for the most of the two years since my TF left me. I tried to reach out to her, so many times, that she eventually cut me off, blocked me out completely. It took me a long time, but I'm finally in a reasonably good spot.

Seriously... I've come so far on my own, I'm sure I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am carrying on (alone) with the passions, and the work, that my TF and I were meant to do. I'm even going back to school this fall, for 4 years at 37 years of age, for a degree in what TF and I were passionate about together... and the thoughts still consume me. She wants nothing to do with me, at all, and I really can't blame her, after some of the breakdowns I had trying to reach out to her. Now that I'm stable and whole in myself again, I feel like it's critical that I show her that I'm OK. I know she feels guilt for what she did, how she left, and what she thinks she turned me in to. I think I need to get this across to her, for HER sake, not mine. She's left me no avenue at all, to contact her though.

I've asked for guidance from above, asked to be shown, if she's really better off with me out of her life. I've asked to be shown what is best for HER. And... if that means my absence... then grant me the wisdom, and the serenity, to accept that. I am coming from a place of zero self-concern, zero selfishness, now, it is all about her.

All is silent. I've been shown nothing, told nothing. I have been forsaken, I think. I'm relatively unschooled in all of this, so I may not know the proper methods to ask for this guidance, but I've certainly poured my heart and soul, my very essence, into this request. It's no longer about me... it is only for her well-being. If the purpose of this connection is to learn total, unconditional love, it has happened. I get it. I would do (or not do) *anything*, for her to be happy, and knowing my action/inaction is the best course is all I need to be happy myself. Please help me. I need my guides like I have never needed them before, and I am getting nothing.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

I had posted a little of this into a pretty much unrelated thread, so I took that out, and I'm making my own, heh. I feel like I am at sort of a standstill here. I haven't been a member here too long, but I did post the short version of my story as my first post. I was a complete disaster for the most of the two years since my TF left me. I tried to reach out to her, so many times, that she eventually cut me off, blocked me out completely. It took me a long time, but I'm finally in a reasonably good spot.

Seriously... I've come so far on my own, I'm sure I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am carrying on (alone) with the passions, and the work, that my TF and I were meant to do. I'm even going back to school this fall, for 4 years at 37 years of age, for a degree in what TF and I were passionate about together... and the thoughts still consume me. She wants nothing to do with me, at all, and I really can't blame her, after some of the breakdowns I had trying to reach out to her. Now that I'm stable and whole in myself again, I feel like it's critical that I show her that I'm OK. I know she feels guilt for what she did, how she left, and what she thinks she turned me in to. I think I need to get this across to her, for HER sake, not mine. She's left me no avenue at all, to contact her though.

I've asked for guidance from above, asked to be shown, if she's really better off with me out of her life. I've asked to be shown what is best for HER. And... if that means my absence... then grant me the wisdom, and the serenity, to accept that. I am coming from a place of zero self-concern, zero selfishness, now, it is all about her.

All is silent. I've been shown nothing, told nothing. I have been forsaken, I think. I'm relatively unschooled in all of this, so I may not know the proper methods to ask for this guidance, but I've certainly poured my heart and soul, my very essence, into this request. It's no longer about me... it is only for her well-being. If the purpose of this connection is to learn total, unconditional love, it has happened. I get it. I would do (or not do) *anything*, for her to be happy, and knowing my action/inaction is the best course is all I need to be happy myself. Please help me. I need my guides like I have never needed them before, and I am getting nothing.

Forsaken? LOL, you aren't listening my friend. Your spirit guides NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER leave nor ignore you. You feel the conenction to your TF right? Ok, now picture the rest of the souls that are already plugged into you that aren't limited by the human condition. They are and have been here for you from the second you entered into this world.

This statement needs a new paragraph AND CAP. NO SIGN IS A SIGN. If you've spiritually developed to the point where you can ask and receieve signs than NO sign is a SIGN. Either your spirit guides are tried of ou asking the same question over and over agian...sound familiar? Maybe they figure no sign might be the sign to finally get your attention? We all go through this. Trust me you are NEVER EVER ALONE. I've found the darkest moments of my life I've been surrounded by the most angels. I never knew this till after my awakening and I could feel their presence.

[shadedragon]

Sweet Wolfspirit, do not fret, your answers are before you already, the nothingness is not what you perceive it as -it is not nothing at all but a message in itself, the very virtue of pactience and will, if things are meant to be she will return, but for now do not try to move on with someone else, move on with yourself and fate will tell you your future. Embrace it and stay true to yourself. Pacience will quill her own fretting on how you are, what you have become, for you have become better for it. She may come to you or someone else will. Just hang in there.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

Forsaken? LOL, you aren't listening my friend. Your spirit guides NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER leave nor ignore you. You feel the conenction to your TF right? Ok, now picture the rest of the souls that are already plugged into you that aren't limited by the human condition. They are and have been here for you from the second you entered into this world.

This statement needs a new paragraph AND CAP. NO SIGN IS A SIGN. If you've spiritually developed to the point where you can ask and receieve signs than NO sign is a SIGN. Either your spirit guides are tried of ou asking the same question over and over agian...sound familiar? Maybe they figure no sign might be the sign to finally get your attention? We all go through this. Trust me you are NEVER EVER ALONE. I've found the darkest moments of my life I've been surrounded by the most angels. I never knew this till after my awakening and I could feel their presence.

No, I've never asked this question before, and I've never been in the place I am in now, until quite recently. And no, NO sign is definitely not what anyone who knows anything about me would try to use, hehe. I specifically asked that it be a clear sign, so I wouldn't be mistaken. I don't want to think I am alone; I want to believe; I do believe... but I really do need a little help right now. I really do.

Often enough when your guides are not responding or refuse to help it is because you are in a situation were the only answer that can be found is when you search for it(I know this from experience). Now I do not know if this will help you but my advice to know if she really is doing fine without you is to search your heart. In your heart there is are connections. To who? Everyone you've ever felt dear. TF, SM, and other friends you've meet and made deep connections with. But specifically you want to search for her. In each connection you can feel the energy and emotions of the one you are sensing. Sometimes these are small and you only notice the other is feeling this, or at times the feeling is so overwhelming it takes over and you feel it as if it was yourself feeling that way. But this connection is what will help you find out the truth, you can consciously see into the connection to get a glimpse, however small it might be, of what the other person feels at that moment.

I hope this helps.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

No, I've never asked this question before, and I've never been in the place I am in now, until quite recently. And no, NO sign is definitely not what anyone who knows anything about me would try to use, hehe. I specifically asked that it be a clear sign, so I wouldn't be mistaken. I don't want to think I am alone; I want to believe; I do believe... but I really do need a little help right now. I really do.

I have a few stories but have to go to bed. They all speak to what you are saying. No signs is a sign. Trust me on this. I've noticed sometimes when I get flooded with signs and I still keep asking for the same answer things will go quiet. Sometimes its just so when you get the next sign its OBVIOUS since you haven't been getting any in days/ weeks. Sometimes its because your guides are hoping you notice the PAUSE because they keep confirming the same thing and you aren't acting.

I guess I need to say it again... I've not asked these questions, ever. I am in a new place, and a completely new mindset. I certainly haven't been flooded with signs on this. I've received nothing.

Originally Posted by Malthoruk

Often enough when your guides are not responding or refuse to help it is because you are in a situation were the only answer that can be found is when you search for it(I know this from experience). Now I do not know if this will help you but my advice to know if she really is doing fine without you is to search your heart. In your heart there is are connections. To who? Everyone you've ever felt dear. TF, SM, and other friends you've meet and made deep connections with. But specifically you want to search for her. In each connection you can feel the energy and emotions of the one you are sensing. Sometimes these are small and you only notice the other is feeling this, or at times the feeling is so overwhelming it takes over and you feel it as if it was yourself feeling that way. But this connection is what will help you find out the truth, you can consciously see into the connection to get a glimpse, however small it might be, of what the other person feels at that moment.

I hope this helps.

Ah, but this is one of my big problems. Everything I feel from her, everything I see, tells me that she is NOT ok, and that she is straying further and further from what she's meant to do, and what she's always wanted to do with life (not talking about me at all here, just her own dreams and desires). I feel a lot of sadness from her, and I think a lot of it has to do with what she thinks she's done to me. Since I can't completely discount my own human mind biasing these perceptions, I'm asking for help from my guides, to see (and accept) the truth of things.

[Kiwigirl11]

Hang in there WWS....i know i pester my guides all the time for answers ,signs etc .....and sometimes i don't get an answer until weeks/months later....i think sometimes we want answers now and we have to realise ,the spirit world works in a different way than us ...time means nothing in spirit world.....hang in there and have faith ...keep your eyes open and it will come ....BL is right your guides never ever leave you .

Originally Posted by Kiwigirl11

Hang in there WWS....i know i pester my guides all the time for answers ,signs etc .....and sometimes i don't get an answer until weeks/months later....i think sometimes we want answers now and we have to realise ,the spirit world works in a different way than us ...time means nothing in spirit world.....hang in there and have faith ...keep your eyes open and it will come ....BL is right your guides never ever leave you .

Hey, maybe you could just run over and ask her face to face for me, if you're in the Auckland area (kidding, hehe)

(why do you NZ girls have to have such amazingly cute accents? that doesn't help me move on you know )