We're both married. Help!

Originally Posted by Divine-Love

Ouch! I think I hit a sore spot. Obviously, I should have expanded more. Husband and I have had previous problems before twin flame came along. My bags aren't packed or anything, and believe me, my husband and I have talked many nights and days about our problems. I was looking for some sound advice in dealing with and having a twin flame while married, so I don't feel like I have to leave my husband. Thanks :)

As you ask for it here is my advice.
Do the right thing.
Cut him out of your life, forget him, ignore him, whatever, the twin flame, not your husband.
Anything else is like walking around in a fireworks factory with an open flame.

Will this be painful? You bet, but you have no right to lighten your pain by potentially transferring it to other innocent people such as your children or by creating havoc in his family.

Not nice to hear, but you knew that this is the only right course of action before you posted your first post, didn't you?

No judgement or sore spots here, Divine-Love... after all, I was in your exact same position a couple of years ago. Well, my TS wasn't married, but he was with the mother of his children. I know the pull, I remember it like it was yesterday, and I regret giving in to it and hurting people who should not have been hurt. I wish I'd known about twin flame forums before I crossed lines that shouldn't have been crossed, because I needed some of the advice that you're getting now!

Originally Posted by Sarian

If you and your husband are really bad off, no love ...no chance of love, no chance of working it out...then see about ending it, if it's what you both want...no use lingering on to something and being miserable...but on the same token...don't go chasing after something you think is better or labeling it a tf or a soulmate or whatever... infactuation is very strong, lust is very strong...emotions have great pulls. Really think on everything.

^^^ That is perfectly, beautifully put. I, too, was having huge issues in my marriage but TS and I had let each other go so I was free to work it out in my own time and my own way. I went to marriage counselling, we spent many nights and days trying to work it all out, but in the end it was dead and had died long ago. I did not leave 'for' TS - he was getting back together with his ex - I left because it was the right thing to do. I think that's important - jumping from a marriage straight into another relationship can be very fraught. It gives you no chance of finding your own personal equilibrium, then throw your children into the mix, plus the complication of your twin's wife who will no doubt cause issues... can you see what I'm saying? Tread very, very carefully. Look after yourself first. Asses all options - can you be honest with your husband about this 'connection', commit to remaining friends with this man, and work on saving/ending your marriage?

I wish you best of luck - I'm not on here very often but you can PM me if you ever need an empathetic ear

Wow - since I have been on here I have never seen such a strong response to someones post...

What I think for what it's worth is that no-one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do in yr situation...but I would implore you NOT to make any drastic decisions and NOT to fall into the trap of romantising a TF connection.

I don't think you should be asking about this connection or what it means - I think you would do yourself more justice by asking - what is going on in my relationship - because without either resolving or desolving this - the TF thing (if that's what u feel it is) will never come to realization anyway it will just cause a lot of hurt and pain for those involved...

I'm getting - a new broom sweeps clean for you - in other words tidy up what u know is real before moving on to what u think, hope or feel might or might not be real in the future.

I hope this helps :)

[psychoslice]

So what if you had a so called kundalini awakening and strong telepathic connections, that is no reason to leave what you already have, and if it is true that you did have an awakening, well why would you be asking others what to do, after all you suppose to be awakened now.

[awakeningheart]

I feel there is a lot of judgement of the op for being honest about her situation.

If this person IS your TF, wise words have been spoken - try to distance yourself. However, as many of us who have been through this know, that is near to impossible to do and causes much heartache and anguish.

I would also disagree with those who say something must be lacking in your marriage because from my understanding, the TF experience does not exist to highlight what's lacking in another relationship - it has NOTHING to do with the other relationship, which is often why it is so painful.

If you can try to separate the two you may find answers. Looking into your own path and asking why this gift (because having a tf IS a gift) has been bestowed on you and what lessons you have to learn - even if it is to bring the love you have to your primary relationship.

I think it's important to make sure the advice you are giving isn't directly filtering through your own fears.

Ie. your husband / wife / partner leaving you for another person, or you wanting to go but feeling like you can't.

Perhaps that isn't the case, but there seems to be almost venom in some of the responses in this thread.

Feel free to correct me of course.

[Cosmicheart]

I think this topic mildly touches on some people's insecurities but it doesn't look like you have taken it to heart :)

It's a tough situation to be in. I always say life is multi layered, there are multiple reasons for any one thing happening. One thing is most likely certain at this point- you have crossed paths with your TF to trigger a series of transformations in you. These can take some time to present themselves so patience is required. The end result could be you get together with your TF, stay with your husband or even take some time out on your own. Which ever way it goes and as heart wrenching as it may be, you will be so much more enriched for it.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

I think it's important to make sure the advice you are giving isn't directly filtering through your own fears.

Thank you for saying this!! It shouldn't be such a novel idea, but lately it seems to have been forgotten.

Not only with fears, but it seems to me, a lot of advice on here is given based on all kinds of assumptions read into posts.

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

Not only with fears, but it seems to me, a lot of advice on here is given based on all kinds of assumptions read into posts.

I feel the same...occasionally, and for some unknown, to me, reason the responses to some of the threads are unnecessarily 'aggressive' and colored by assumptions, as you say... we were all new to this forum at some time and, I think I can say this for most of us, we 'lurked' in the background for a long time before making the bold step of writing our first post and opening up our most personal issues to strangers... it takes a lot of courage to do so - I remember how I felt ... furthermore, when someone feels the need to talk to others who may have been through something similar and have some wise and full-of-understanding advice to give it is usually because they haven't found that somewhere else and are looking for answers...are we so perfect to be critical of others' feelings and issues? perhaps one of the lessons for us here is a little humility...none of us are perfect...
anyway....that would be boring!

[EricDraven]

Originally Posted by soul whisperer

I feel the same...occasionally, and for some unknown, to me, reason the responses to some of the threads are unnecessarily 'aggressive' and colored by assumptions, as you say... we were all new to this forum at some time and, I think I can say this for most of us, we 'lurked' in the background for a long time before making the bold step of writing our first post and opening up our most personal issues to strangers... it takes a lot of courage to do so - I remember how I felt ... furthermore, when someone feels the need to talk to others who may have been through something similar and have some wise and full-of-understanding advice to give it is usually because they haven't found that somewhere else and are looking for answers...are we so perfect to be critical of others' feelings and issues? perhaps one of the lessons for us here is a little humility...none of us are perfect...
anyway....that would be boring!

I second this, completely. Much love sw!