Twin Flame Rejection and Letting Go

[DaisySunshine]

I was in an unhappy marriage when I met my twin flame last year, and we fell for each other immediately. I had told my husband I wasn't happy last April, and in May my twin gave me the news that he was dating someone and did not feel romantically about me anymore. I was crushed because I truly was in love.

My twin needed space from me, and then I got the courage to tell my husband I needed some space. My twin and I continued to be friends after, but it was hard at times because my romantic feelings for him did not fade. I tried to work things out with my husband but after months see that he wrong for me as I am not in love with him, and it isn't fair to either of us. I do love and care about him as a friend, so I have not had the courage to be truthful. I knew it would be like a knife in the heart and did not want to cause this pain in him.

My twin and I connect well, and are both flirty by nature. There were a few times the things he said or his actions made it seem as though he still had romantic feelings for me, but I was married and in another state right now (he plans to move to my area after college). I hung onto this as hope, seeing that he and his girlfriend are both young (early 20s), have only been dating for 5 months (and are long distance), and he has stated they are taking it slow. In the back of my mind I felt he needed to date her now, but based on age and location, chances were they would break up in a few months or a year or so. I also considered when my twin moved to my region. I would have grieved in my divorce by then, and timing seemed to be favorable that we may both be single then. I thought maybe he needs this relationship, a serious and loving one (as opposed to the shallow and flakey girls he dated in high school, his words not mine). It all made sense. It has been driving me crazy though; the wait and see thing.

I had enough yesterday and told my twin to tell me the honest truth even if it would devestate me. I said "Tell me you love her in a way you don't love me, that she's the one you want to marry and be with, that all we'll ever be is great friends, and even if we're both ever single at the same time, it's a 0% chance." I promised no hard feelings, it will not change our friendship at all. But I needed it. Maybe a small part of me still expected a "Well I don't know the future, we'll see what happens" type of response. Or, less likely, him confessing once I was divorced he wanted to pursue me. He said everything I listed was true. I insisted he say it all to me like a dagger in the heart. He reluctantly did. Ouch.

Hearing that even if we were both single again, all he ever wants to be is great friends, was hard. The same man who a mere 7 months ago was telling me how he always wanted to get married in the fall and hoped we had a family together one day. He confirmed that he didn't want to lose me, and still admires alot about me, and loves me and cares about me as a close friend.

Oddly, this action by him seemed to give me the courage and strength to be honest with my husband, even though I could tell he was heartbroken. It was as though my twin had to do it to me to show it could be done, or show me how, or something.

I am not as emotionally raw as I was last May when he told me the news, but having confirmed that there is a 0% chance he would ever date me, is heartwrenching. I love him and want the best for him, but I don't know that I can watch him marry someone else and build a life and family with, just like the one he and I talked about and planned out that I still want. I have not talked to him since we said goodnight yesterday and don't plan on talking to him ever again. I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist tomorrow in hopes of letting go of and forgetting as much of him as possible.

Another noteworthy point, is that he has low confidence and a ton of self hatred. I have high confidence and a pretty decent amount of self love. I know twin flames are essentially the same person. If I love myself, it makes sense I love him on every level. But if he hates his own being, then he hates me at the core too.

[Illuminata007]

How do you plan to not talk to your twin again if you promised his being honest with you would not changeyourur friendship?

Give yourself time to process all of this and focus on your marriage. I think you have a lot just figuring out what's next there.

[Illuminata007]

BTW, I don't believe what he has said to you but a) your married b) it is hard to work on hypothetical situations because who the heck knows if you will both be single at the same time. He is giving you a gift. Plan your life in away that honors and nourishes you, not for some potential future with him. I think if you move towards a more fulfilling, authentic life it will be a game changer. Also, sounds like he has a some work to do on himself. These connection with others can be very healing and may be that's why he is currently with someone.

[DaisySunshine]

Oh I know, I am focusing on myself. And as far as my marriage, it was unhappy even prior to meeting my twin and I have tried for the past year and a half. I am not happy with him, am not in love with him, have zero desire to be intimate with him, so there is nothing left to work on except how to end it as amicably and peacefully as possible.

For not talking to my twin again, I just simply won't. Ues, I did promise it wouldn't change our friendship, but he has the romantic partner he desires so no other person being in or out of his life actually matters.

Thank you for the link, I look forward to reading it.

[Eternal Flame]

The Divine Masculine is often lying to themselves about the connection. Whether that Divine masculine comes in the form of a woman or man.

But when they comes around, the will be quick to come around.

[DaisySunshine]

I really am not sure which of us has the masculine or feminine energy. I am not manly, but I am very laid back, love watching sports, and am not ashamed to eat junk food. He is not what I would consider girly, but he is quite sensitive and overthinking for a man, and is very artistic and creative. We also share these qualities with each other. I am the more confident one, though.

I guess only time will tell what happens.

[A human Being]

Aw Daisy, I found that a painful read (partially because your twin reminds me of myself in certain respects)... sounds like you've been through the emotional ringer in the past year or so, it must have been gut-wrenching time for you :( I really admire your courage, though, you knew you needed closure and you got that from your twin; perhaps now is the time for you to grieve and get it out of your system, though I know how difficult it can be to overcome the emotional attachments - in fact it might only be now that you fully appreciate just how attached you actually were, that's how it was for me (mind you I'm a bloke, we don't tend to be overly blessed in the emotional intelligence department!).

I love your honesty and articulacy, too, you express yourself very well :) Do you feel any resentment towards your twin, given that at one time he'd seemed so keen to make a life with you and now he's saying he doesn't see a future with you? Not to give you false hope but he is still very young and so his feelings could easily change again - but of course it's best that you shift your focus to yourself for the time being, as you say, have some alone time if possible and work through those feelings, and/or talk things through with a friend.

Take good care of yourself, Daisy, things will get better in time

[Illuminata007]

Originally Posted by Eternal Flame

The Divine Masculine is often lying to themselves about the connection. Whether that Divine masculine comes in the form of a woman or man.

But when they comes around, the will be quick to come around.

This is so true!. I think there is divine intervention in helping them wake up to who they truly are and why they are here