The LoA Feel Good Problem

[Flexi-Girl]

This is a bit of a rant so please excuse the sloppiness of my post.

My biggest problem I have with the LoA is the over emphasis on "Feeling Good".
This mindset that you need to feel good all the time is downright foolish and self destructive.

1. It's impossible to make yourself feel good all the time.
2. It teaches you that if something doesn't make you feel good then it's negative and must be avoided.
3. It teaches you to focus on results, outcome rather than on the process.

If I am "attracting" something unwanted as it were, then it's kind of unhelpful to ask, "What negative thoughts was I having?" This is not effective.

Instead I should be asking smarter questions such as, "What is it about me or this environment needs changing in order to improve my situation"

I feel this kind of "feel good" mentality weakens people and encourages bad habits. Imagine wanting to learn a new skill. At some point your going to have to accept criticism even if it hurts. Sometimes you're going to have to accept the fact that your best isn't always good enough. By enduring painful criticism, you become better. Even if criticism isn't helpful all the time at least you'll have the ability to discern what has value. If your goal is simply to feel good all the time, then your going to want to run away from any form of pain even the good kind that helps you learn.

Also this feel good mentality encourages shallowness. If all you're interested in is feeling good, then it's a very one dimensional way of living. This is good if you're an addict, narcissist or sociopath. Anything or anyone that's not immediately gratifying is not worth perusing. Every time your, "feel good" gets satisfied it becomes less impact-full. If everything you want is satisfied, then you value nothing. People become objects. They become things to gratify you. Empathy is pain, and without empathy there is no depth to any relationship, no purpose in anything.

I respect the idea of wanting to feel good, but can you honestly feel appreciation and joy all the time? Our minds get clouded with fears and problems screaming for attention. If you need to feel good about everything you are doing, you're never going to get anything done. The LoA as it's taught, this over emphasis on appreciation all the time is unrealistic and is like a crazy making pendulum. It's like this unobtainable goal that makes you feel worse for not feeling good.

In my opinion it's smarter and healthier to try to maintain a more neutral, open state of mind; cautious optimism. You're not weighed down by the forced expectation of having to feel good. You're better able to deal with unpleasantness (which is good for us) without it toppling your day. You're better able to observe yourself and the world around you without the burden of labeling everything good or bad when things happen. Instead of focusing on pie in the sky you learn to value the entire journey.

I don't know. This is just my little rant.

Flexi-Girl,And a nice rant it was.Well said.

[inavalan]

The proof is in the pudding ... If what you're doing isn't working, then what you're doing isn't right.

Focusing on the result is the strategic approach. Focusing on the process is the tactical.

You do a process to achieve something, so you must already have a target / reason / result in mind.

If you'd create your reality, then you'd have firstly to decide what you'd want to create. Most people don't create their reality being too busy reacting to what others created, those reactively too.

There is nothing wrong with "feeling good" (part of the process), as long as that is in tune, in line, with your "purpose" (part of the result).

Having an "optimistic" attitude has a negative connotation. It shows that instead of focusing on creating your desired reality, you spend thought energy on hoping that something else will create for you a favorable reality. Surely, having optimistic thoughts is better than having pessimistic ones, but it still is a passive / reactive attitude.

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by inavalan

Having an "optimistic" attitude has a negative connotation. It shows that instead of focusing on creating your desired reality, you spend thought energy on hoping that something else will create for you a favorable reality. Surely, having optimistic thoughts is better than having pessimistic ones, but it still is a passive / reactive attitude.

Out of curiosity, what do you mean having optimistic thoughts is still passive?

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

Out of curiosity, what do you mean having optimistic thoughts is still passive?

You expect / hope something favorable to happen to you. So, you are the recipient (passive) of an external will and action.

When you don't like what's happening, what it is, think then decide what you want to happen, what you want to be, and create it. It takes some practice, but that's why we are here, to practice doing it until we master it.

There is a shift in thinking that is required.

[iamthat]

If we approach the LoA purely from a mental/emotional perspective then Flexi-Girl's rant raises valid questions. The mind and the emotions are bound by duality, and we cannot hope to only experience the positive aspects without having to experience the negative side.

If we approach the LoA from a spiritual perspective then these questions are resolved.

Flexi-Girl says: I respect the idea of wanting to feel good, but can you honestly feel appreciation and joy all the time? The answer is yes, if we are centred in our higher nature. Appreciation and joy arise spontaneously from within, independent of external conditions.

Flexi-Girl also says: If I am "attracting" something unwanted as it were, then it's kind of unhelpful to ask, "What negative thoughts was I having?" This is not effective. From a higher perspective we can accept that we are 100% responsible for all that manifests in our lives. This does not weaken us, but instead it means that we can change any aspect of our lives. We cannot change others, it may be difficult to change our environment, but we can change ourselves.

Flexi-Girl states that the LoA teaches you to focus on results, outcome rather than on the process. Approaching the LoA from a spiritual perspective means that we put out the idea of what we want, using the mind and the emotions to add intent and substance to the idea, and then let it go. We do this in a spirit of trust and gratitude. We have no attachment to the outcome. If it manifests, all is good. If for whatever reason it does not manifest, all is good.

I could go on, but the message should be clear. If we try to apply the LoA from the limited level of just our mind and emotions then we encounter the issues which Flexi-Girl has raised. If we add a spiritual basis to the LoA then these issues become non-issues.

Peace

[Pastthemirror]

I have to agree. Balance is important in all things. And crucially, how on Earth is anyone supposed to address the worst parts of their personality if they refuse to acknowledge the existence of those parts?

[paragon]

I used to love all posts criticising the LoA, but I've actually become more open to it since finally discovering a good teacher of it (Neville Goddard). His approach is much, much better than the superficial stuff offered by Esther Hicks and others on YouTube. He doesn't even use the term "Law of attraction" (it's a horrible misnomer anyway) but rather refers to imagination and co-creation.

Anyway, in my view your belief that it's unrealistic to feel good all the time is simply a self-imposed limitation. Is it likely that we'll feel good all the time in the ordinary course of human experience without doing the correct spiritual work to cultivate and maintain this state? No, of course not - but with effective spiritual practices anything is possible.

I've been doing a lot of work on emotional polarities lately. This is where you feel and analyse the energy of an emotion, then its opposite - then you work to switch between the two emotions by shifting the energy around in your body. The more of this work you do, the more you realise that emotions are just energy, and energy can be changed and manipulated. I've been walking around for the past 24 hours feeling a sense of dread and anxiety. I just got around to doing some polarity work on it by shifting between anxiety and confidence, and all the anxiety is gone now. I switched it off like a light switch. It took all of 10 seconds - I wish I'd remembered to do it yesterday.

"The LoA as it's taught, this over emphasis on appreciation all the time is unrealistic and is like a crazy making pendulum. It's like this unobtainable goal that makes you feel worse for not feeling good."

If your assumption that it's unattainable is correct then yes, this would cause some major issues. However, if your assumption were incorrect....

"If all you're interested in is feeling good, then it's a very one dimensional way of living. This is good if you're an addict, narcissist or sociopath. Anything or anyone that's not immediately gratifying is not worth perusing. Every time your, "feel good" gets satisfied it becomes less impact-full. If everything you want is satisfied, then you value nothing. People become objects. They become things to gratify you. Empathy is pain, and without empathy there is no depth to any relationship, no purpose in anything."

You're understanding "feeling good" to be a constant seeking, a constant looking for the next person or thing to gratify one's desire for happiness. This is an incorrect understanding because all true peace and happiness is cultivated from within. I have managed to cultivate that state for certain periods of time, although I am far from being an expert... yet But even with my limited experience I can tell you confidently that when you are in that state, all you feel is love and compassion for other people. And when you feel that way, you also want everyone else to share in your happiness - so empathy is absolutely possible. Any concept of happiness that involves viewing others like objects is not an accurate conception of true happiness.

[Flexi-Girl]

Paragon: you have an interesting view on this which I will take into consideration. I will investigate further into this Neville Goddard's teachings.

[paragon]

Great. If you're interested in working on polarities and you ever need a hand, drop me a line - I don't think there's very much useful information about them online.

Also, regarding your other post on "like attracts like" - I may as well just reply here. I also don't believe that we create absolutely everything that happens in our lives. I think that view is ridiculous and actually quite nihilistic, because it means that nothing that occurs has any deeper meaning. Luckily, it doesn't actually matter. When Neville teaches that I just ignore him. It's not important how our past was created - the only important part is believing that our future can be entirely within our control once we seize the reins. And note that I said entirely within our control - if you start creating your own rules about what you can change and what you can't then - guess what - your rules will come true and your progress will be limited accordingly.