How can I let go of my belief that I'm crazy?

[John32241]

Originally Posted by SerendipityLizard

I have a very strong sense of purpose then, and with avoiding it all my life, without it, I feel empty. I've even felt strong suicidal thoughts before if I ignored this need to act on my sense of purpose, and something about growing enormously fills me with passion.

But I still want to avoid it. I don't want that responsibility. I don't want all the trials of growing and developing. I don't want the big vision of sharing some powerful ideas and talents I could have in the future. A huge part of me just wants to be normal, but as I go through life, moving away from my deep love for purpose is pure suffering. I want to be safe, yet I'm always moving for the "crazy" choice no matter how afraid I am.

Something tells me I'm supposed to do something big here, but I don't want to follow that. I'm not special. I don't want to be overly egotistical. I'm not ready to just merge with oness and all there is. I don't want to attract so much attention that people will reject, criticize or disagree with me -- but something tells me that I have to speak out. Speak out for something, but what is it? I don't want to know.

How can I just let go and follow through?

Hi,

For that last question, trust your intuition.

Belief systems are often hard to describe, that is if you have found one which works well for you. You can go crazy trying to put together a reality perspective without some sort of framework of understanding to work from.

You have a strong sense of purpose and that is the inner truth which drives your life. You also have a conflict of sorts to resolve. It is a knowing that where your are being led is important and that you must speak out about something specific, what exactly is not clear yet, and that it will clash greatly with conventional wisdom and belief systems.

You truly do not want to attract so much attention that you will have to deal with what I call primitive thinking from others. Yet you also know that some of this will be unavoidable.

The primary responsability we have is to be true to the self. What spicifically that means needs to be formulated. So for now you are looking at new age spirituality. That can be a very productive thing to do.

You are being guided in that undertaking. My spiritual guidance for assisting you with this effort is to Let You lead the way in how everything is done. I do have some experience with these things because I recognize every one has an inner wisdom which is from the creative source. You are connected to yours while most are not.

John

[Kerubiel]

You sound a lot like me. I did many huge things in my world. I have been fighting evil for years now. This last battle got so big I gave up many times. I had many followers and helpers but many fell and I had to pick them up time and again. I ended up leaving them and erasing much of what I taught them in order to keep them safe. I feel like I have been crazy for fighting evil for so long and decided to give up the fight and lead a normal life. I even convinced myself much of it was a delusion, even tho deep inside I know it was real. I also, like you, want to let go and leave it all behind. I want the suffering to end. I have gotten thru much of the pain my battles have brought me, but I feel I don't want to instigate more.

[IndigoViolet]

Sometimes we step between the border of being normal, and being unique in person. Everyone has the full potential of being unique, at least on how I think about it.

We were not meant to be stuck on any kind of prediction, be it the statistics, the mundane tendency, the past experience we have had, or any types of oracle, psychic activities, nor even our instincts (especially the *why* and *where* we got it is important). It's because there is in a sense, something called a wil, as in free willl. It makes my own psychic predictions I did find fun and intriguting to see, when the world can twist around to its ideal shape, and something else happens instead. Whatever I have asked for so far, I saw them in my own eyes, got fulfilled as if like a paper being unfolded, totally out of my owb psychic prediction....

But not everything is ideal, at least for the time being especially. Usually either we cannot figure out anything, or it wasn't the original we had expected. I currently got horribly stuck in writing any information down in my suppose-to-do work nor I have any idea how to deal with it. Sometimes and often I found I do not trust myself at all in any experience nor any past life knowledge I have had, and the only possible way to finish the work is to deal with inner fear. It is like holding onto a rope that we cannot hold onto anymore, and with this no one can go anywhere. Even I myself shiver. I have no experience whatsoever on anything of that nature.

Walk your way, choosing a path that belongs to no one is the most important of all, because at times, predictions of something does not occur by free will. Previously, in many people in life anyways, spirits fought to possess every single body they can find, one posing as *your* "higher self", while the other posing as a light being or an Angel, and take control of their life, controlling psychics along the way to do predictions that favors them, and then they staged their life, and force the "predictions" to come true. I was one of those victims, and as a result of that, my childhood life was completely taken away, but the hard lesson that I have learned about having free will on my own, is what is the utmost important here.

It will be yourself tho, to tell between what kind of "will" is forcefully put onto you (both mundane and spiritual pressure), and which ones are really your own ones.

[Colorado]

Dear God,

We are all crazy, but you are all over the place, child. You need to ground yourself, you have all these thoughts and emotions shooting out in every direction.

First...eat healthy, from the earth(trust me on this one) It will help you to control ocd, and flighty, anxiety, feelings and thoughts.

2 Understand that contributions start small, taking a step out of your comfort zone...and talk to a stranger, elder, or help someone with a small task...

3. You are GREAT, MAGNIFICENT, AMAZING, GOD’s little FIRECRACKER and SPARK, sent here to do amazing things...and so are we:):)

4 Stop putting undue stress and pressure on yourself...you are thinking too much. When your calling happens, the date will be unknown, the timing will be right, and spontaneous, so it does little to worry about it everyday...you will rise to the occasion when it happens, without a chance to think it through. You will just do it spontaneously, at that moment....and many times over, and you won’t even realize the impact you have had on others...because you will be prepared spiritually.

5) Relax...fill your mind and thoughts with activities and hobbies that fill you with peace and contentment. The rest will follow in Gods time, you will do just fine.

You are going to do amazing things, but there is no point in worrying about them...let it go, you will rise to the occasion as you are called forth.

[SerendipityLizard]

Originally Posted by IndigoViolet

Sometimes we step between the border of being normal, and being unique in person. Everyone has the full potential of being unique, at least on how I think about it.

We were not meant to be stuck on any kind of prediction, be it the statistics, the mundane tendency, the past experience we have had, or any types of oracle, psychic activities, nor even our instincts (especially the *why* and *where* we got it is important). It's because there is in a sense, something called a wil, as in free willl. It makes my own psychic predictions I did find fun and intriguting to see, when the world can twist around to its ideal shape, and something else happens instead. Whatever I have asked for so far, I saw them in my own eyes, got fulfilled as if like a paper being unfolded, totally out of my owb psychic prediction....

But not everything is ideal, at least for the time being especially. Usually either we cannot figure out anything, or it wasn't the original we had expected. I currently got horribly stuck in writing any information down in my suppose-to-do work nor I have any idea how to deal with it. Sometimes and often I found I do not trust myself at all in any experience nor any past life knowledge I have had, and the only possible way to finish the work is to deal with inner fear. It is like holding onto a rope that we cannot hold onto anymore, and with this no one can go anywhere. Even I myself shiver. I have no experience whatsoever on anything of that nature.

Walk your way, choosing a path that belongs to no one is the most important of all, because at times, predictions of something does not occur by free will. Previously, in many people in life anyways, spirits fought to possess every single body they can find, one posing as *your* "higher self", while the other posing as a light being or an Angel, and take control of their life, controlling psychics along the way to do predictions that favors them, and then they staged their life, and force the "predictions" to come true. I was one of those victims, and as a result of that, my childhood life was completely taken away, but the hard lesson that I have learned about having free will on my own, is what is the utmost important here.

It will be yourself tho, to tell between what kind of "will" is forcefully put onto you (both mundane and spiritual pressure), and which ones are really your own ones.

As kindly as I mean, I don’t see any will forced on me from spiritual signs, and I know how to be aware of whether I’m tricked. I’ve been tricked like that before, and I’m not inexperienced with these matters after going through those.

It’s not them that’s putting pressure on myself the most. It’s me. It’s me, and so many other living human beings in the past. There’s a difference with being scared temporarily about a purpose, and absolutely hating this decision.

I like it. I feel fulfilled doing it. It’s just whenever we try something new in life, people can get scared.

I know I have free will! I know. And it’s my free will to follow this path. Because I rather live a life in fear than a life in boredom. I didn’t have suicidal thoughts before because I was afraid or depressed about life. I had them . . . because I was so disinterested in looking for any goal in life. Because I was bored on an existential level. I was passionateless. I was aimless. I was trapped in the hurried pace of the mundane.

I’m not looking for a peaceful life of contentment. I’m looking for a life with more thrills and unexpected paths more than anything I imagine. I’m looking for simultaenous uncomfortability and pleasure of fear, and I want to explore areas humanity never has. Why does the spiritual world put so much pressure on me? Because I asked for it. That’s what I wanted, and that’s what I get. Life isn’t complete without fear, and this is the road I want to take.

All I asked for was a small break with affirmation and well wishes. Oh come on. What is it with people assuming their situation is exactly like mine? At least say it’s just suggestion or a possibility rather than just reigning down on me with all this preaching. That, or ask more questions before jumping to conclusions.

You’re the type of person I was most afraid of to meet here. The type of person who wouldn’t believe in what I say.

Now let’s do this again, and I mean this politely as possible.

I am not you. Not who you were. Not who you are now. So back off.

[SerendipityLizard]

Originally Posted by Colorado

Dear God,

We are all crazy, but you are all over the place, child. You need to ground yourself, you have all these thoughts and emotions shooting out in every direction.

First...eat healthy, from the earth(trust me on this one) It will help you to control ocd, and flighty, anxiety, feelings and thoughts.

2 Understand that contributions start small, taking a step out of your comfort zone...and talk to a stranger, elder, or help someone with a small task...

3. You are GREAT, MAGNIFICENT, AMAZING, GOD’s little FIRECRACKER and SPARK, sent here to do amazing things...and so are we:):)

4 Stop putting undue stress and pressure on yourself...you are thinking too much. When your calling happens, the date will be unknown, the timing will be right, and spontaneous, so it does little to worry about it everyday...you will rise to the occasion when it happens, without a chance to think it through. You will just do it spontaneously, at that moment....and many times over, and you won’t even realize the impact you have had on others...because you will be prepared spiritually.

5) Relax...fill your mind and thoughts with activities and hobbies that fill you with peace and contentment. The rest will follow in Gods time, you will do just fine.

You are going to do amazing things, but there is no point in worrying about them...let it go, you will rise to the occasion as you are called forth.

Okay, thanks.

I guess my emotions are usually . . . intense, and I do need to relax. I’ve been through a lot. I guess I still get emotionally charged remembering my own traumas, huh? I am feeling better these days though. I guess standing up for myself here somehow trained myself to believe in myself more — despite the backlash.

I think I found a better solution to my own stress. Not peacefulness or relaxation. But excitement and inspiration. To transform fear into a sense of adventure and childlike curiosity. Hahaha! I haven’t felt this good in a while.

Thank you all, but I’m afraid I won’t take your advice to slow down. The charge from my stress turned into a whole level of positive energy I appreciate more.

See you.

[IndigoViolet]

Originally Posted by SerendipityLizard

As kindly as I mean, I don’t see any will forced on me from spiritual signs, and I know how to be aware of whether I’m tricked. I’ve been tricked like that before, and I’m not inexperienced with these matters after going through those.

It’s not them that’s putting pressure on myself the most. It’s me. It’s me, and so many other living human beings in the past. There’s a difference with being scared temporarily about a purpose, and absolutely hating this decision.

I like it. I feel fulfilled doing it. It’s just whenever we try something new in life, people can get scared.

I know I have free will! I know. And it’s my free will to follow this path. Because I rather live a life in fear than a life in boredom. I didn’t have suicidal thoughts before because I was afraid or depressed about life. I had them . . . because I was so disinterested in looking for any goal in life. Because I was bored on an existential level. I was passionateless. I was aimless. I was trapped in the hurried pace of the mundane.

I’m not looking for a peaceful life of contentment. I’m looking for a life with more thrills and unexpected paths more than anything I imagine. I’m looking for simultaenous uncomfortability and pleasure of fear, and I want to explore areas humanity never has. Why does the spiritual world put so much pressure on me? Because I asked for it. That’s what I wanted, and that’s what I get. Life isn’t complete without fear, and this is the road I want to take.

All I asked for was a small break with affirmation and well wishes. Oh come on. What is it with people assuming their situation is exactly like mine? At least say it’s just suggestion or a possibility rather than just reigning down on me with all this preaching. That, or ask more questions before jumping to conclusions.

You’re the type of person I was most afraid of to meet here. The type of person who wouldn’t believe in what I say.

Now let’s do this again, and I mean this politely as possible.

I am not you. Not who you were. Not who you are now. So back off.

Too bad then. All I could do is just that to help. There are things that are clear cut and those that aren't, and this is all I can tell you. And yes, because I told people the truth, people are afraid of me. You are totally responsible for your post and I spent my time not being appreciate here. What do I feel then? Huh? Angry as hell, for you being heartless

I will be direct. Face it or die. Some are clear cut, and some arent. If you are emotional and this sensitive, now be afraid, and next time dont post if you cannot handle such critical advices lolol xD

Goodbye, by the way. I hate you as well.

You’re the type of person I was most afraid of to meet here. The type of person who wouldn’t believe in what I say.

Thank you. That I did frighten somebody because i touched on something.

Butt off and get lost

[IndigoViolet]

And I have never imply that I am you.

[SerendipityLizard]

Originally Posted by IndigoViolet

Too bad then. All I could do is just that to help. There are things that are clear cut and those that aren't, and this is all I can tell you. And yes, because I told people the truth, people are afraid of me. You are totally responsible for your post and I spent my time not being appreciate here. What do I feel then? Huh? Angry as hell, for you being heartless

I will be direct. Face it or die. Some are clear cut, and some arent. If you are emotional and this sensitive, now be afraid, and next time dont post if you cannot handle such critical advices lolol xD

Goodbye, by the way. I hate you as well.



Thank you. That I did frighten somebody because i touched on something.

Butt off and get lost

Ah, when did I imply that I hated you? I said I was trying to disagree with you as kindly or politely as possible. Then you start using immature words like “lolol” or “xD” at a seeming attempt to intimidate me by making you look like you don’t care. My bolded words were more formal and direct, while you simply just answered with the very rude words of “Butt off and get lost”.

You were right in that I never implied you were me, but you are still acting like my situation was like yours by pushing your advice. This also includes your projection over me on how I supposedly hate you. It’s very possible to disagree while still respecting someone, and I really did respect your willingness to help me before this post. At my last post before yours — I said thank you to all — including you.

But now you have broken these boundaries and have shown otherwise. Part of emotional healing is being accepting towards others’ emotions, rather than advising them. Especially, this in contrast to you forcing your ideas, as you have shown here. Is it not possible to disagree with you while still making a well thought out decision? I took time to listen and reply to almost everyone who came by, and does that seem not well thought out?

I’m very sad to hear that you think being angry at someone will help them change, rather than making them more frustrated at you. You must have had a hard time in life if you’ve gotten that example somewhere. Kindness isn’t something that will always be repayed as you’d like.

Thank you for listening, and take care.

[SerendipityLizard]

Dear IndigoViolet,

I still sense you’ve been sending negative energies to me. When I gather someone’s stress, I can tell by how my personal devices start lagging or acting strangely. This is very rude, so please feel free to calm down with some deep breaths, and I’d like to say that I still wish the best for you.

I’ll be sending some healing energy if this will help, so please find a place to calm down.

See you.