my wife has found her twin flame - Page 6

NoOne · #51 14-06-2019, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

One of my favourite films.

Although I didn't get the TF connection, but as you say the book will have more detail.

Yes, quite an excellent one, Indeed.

TF is simply a trendy new word for what used to be called a soulmate. Before that is was simply called "being in Love." It is another example of word inflation.

JosephineB · #52 14-06-2019, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoOne

Yes, quite an excellent one, Indeed.

TF is simply a trendy new word for what used to be called a soulmate. Before that is was simply called "being in Love." It is another example of word inflation.

Yes.

I like SF member Bartholomew's thread and explanation of what a TF actually is.

JozefMera · #53 14-06-2019, 12:15 PM

Is it that simple? For example the eye-lock mentioned in this thread is what happened to my wife. And many other things like feeling something during a day with "no reason" and afterwards discovering that the TF was having some hard time somewhere else... I believe her this is "different love". There is a difference between "tf magnetism" and "romantic love of the two that want to share life". I want to understand it more as right now I feel mostly pain and ... and I want to investigate it first deeply. Is it my ego not allowing unlimited love, that needs to be shared between two men now (except for other loves like kids friends etc) or ... is it my true heart that feels this is not my way anymore...

JosephineBloggs could you please link the thread as I did some search on Bartholomew and he has loooots of threads :).

Thank you.

EDIT: I found it :)

Sarian · #54 14-06-2019, 01:26 PM

Jozef, I have no advice for you really. I never believed in the twinflame stuff, maybe it's real, maybe it's not. I just do not know, but I did encounter something that threw me for a loop, like nothing I never experienced before. It was as though I was brought to life. That said, the relationship, the entire time from all aspects of it from start to finish was at its best, sheer bliss but it was also horrendously painful and I lost myself in this relationship. When it ended, I believe it ended at the right time as I was unable to let go so many times before. I have no idea why, as if I had to go through this sick, twisted game almost, let it bring out the absolute worst in me like a boil growing, painful, gross, infected, ugly where I simply could not stand the pain anymore but looking in the mirror seeing all the inner ugliness inside me and I wanted it gone. Over 20 years of this. So when the time came for us to go different ways, I felt relief. Great sorrow too, don't get me wrong but the relief was far more welcomed in my life. I still have to see him on a regular basis, I wish I did not..but this too is a process I've had to go through. At times, full of hatred, internal pain due to memories both good and bad, watching him move on with other and his subsequent marriage, dealing with my own feelings of how I never felt good enough coming to a head and still do at times, but it's like lessons for me to learn. Self worth and the fact that I am worthy.

I don't know if I had this so called twin flame relationship or simply a karmic one, it felt like both, even though I strongly abhor the 'twinflame' term.

For you, all I can say is you need to sit and have a true heart to heart talk with your wife. Life is too short to spend with someone who isn't willing to give you 100 percent or have her mind always on another. Don't cheat yourself out of having something real. I have no idea if she's met 'the one' or not or simply infatuated. I see this a lot. Even with my ex, I sat here and had to watch him go through these dating rituals, his highs, his lows, and then finding someone who 'fit his criteria' so he thought and the lengths he would go to hurry and keep her in his life. It was pathetic at best and only months into this marriage it is deeply flawed in all areas. I just sit and find myself thinking about relationships and have no desire to be in one. They have me thinking are they really worth it and what so called love does to a person?

Have a heart to heart and then both of you decide where to go from there. Don't allow yourself to be strung along either. Good luck.

Oh, I should add, when I met him, I truly believed I was guided to him, I won't explain that story here again, too long but I truly have no doubt he's someone I've had many lifetimes with because I sensed that within every cell of my being when I met him and that's what made meeting him so uncanny and something I've never experienced before. It was like finding my best friend after being apart for so long. Also the fact that had I not felt all these internal things, he'd not be anyone I'd give a second look at let alone a first, not my type but there was a sweetness about him that was adoring but a whole lot of arrogance with it as well.

JosephineB · #55 14-06-2019, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JozefMera

Is it that simple? For example the eye-lock mentioned in this thread is what happened to my wife. And many other things like feeling something during a day with "no reason" and afterwards discovering that the TF was having some hard time somewhere else... I believe her this is "different love". There is a difference between "tf magnetism" and "romantic love of the two that want to share life". I want to understand it more as right now I feel mostly pain and ... and I want to investigate it first deeply. Is it my ego not allowing unlimited love, that needs to be shared between two men now (except for other loves like kids friends etc) or ... is it my true heart that feels this is not my way anymore...

JosephineBloggs could you please link the thread as I did some search on Bartholomew and he has loooots of threads :).

Thank you.

EDIT: I found it :)

Here's Bartholomew's soulmate/TF thread.

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=110351

JozefMera · #56 14-06-2019, 01:53 PM

Sarian, thank you for sincere reply. The problem with heart to heart discussion is that I'm often overwhelmed by my mind, victim, attacks, ... In the beginning of this year she was very often with him. It was just too much for me. I told her to separate for a while so she moved to another flat for 3 weeks. I "gave" her this time to resolve that thing with him. But it was different as I expected. He stopped communicating for that period. So she was alone having enough time to realize what she really wants. I was working and taking care of our daughter so I did not have enough time to answer this to myself: "Is this what I want?" So she came back from her weeks of freedom and siad that she decided to be with me. For me it was (in February) and still is hard to believe that what she feels and writes to him is in a different way than it was before. On our yesterdays exchange of opinions she said she did a long way during that year and a half to process her feelings towards him, but I did not move forward with my jelaousy at all. It hurted but it's true. I still feel that pain when hear messenger ping or see his face on fb. The 3 weeks helped me as well. I was first time in my life on my own and realized I'm able to take care of home and also daughter and it wasn't as complicated as I imagined before when we argued about leaving me. So yes me too felt I'm worthy and can do things. Can feel. Compared to previous days when she was always with him it was much better. But after she came back, I started to doubt. Am I good enough for her? Do I need to compare myself with him? To compete to be good enough? The 100% you are talking about... Why is this different from when she has female friend? This is something sub-concious that I don't understand now and I want. I especially want to hear from some people from this thread mentioning that they live with this TF and at the same time has marriage which is happy (or at least this was my impression from those posts). To be honest when I see twinflame word I'm getting allergic reaction almost. But my wife said - this is something what has happened. What do you want to do about it? Like it is something unchangable like day and night. So I understand he'll be "with us" forever and the question is what it really means. Another word connected with TF is uncodnitional love and I again have body reaction on this... I feel I need to learn a lot a lot... Or there is another way - escape let it all go and find myself somewhere else. But I feel this is like blue red pill in the Matrix. Unfortunately this is something I can change anytime so even if I decided to go with red I still tend to get back and forget everything... It is not I want to hear - do this or that. It's impossible. I'd like to relate, share thoughts day-to-day as my wife is the only channel I "use" right now and she is tired of my feelings especially when they are in "old energy".

Thank you for reading that long post :).

John32241 · #57 14-06-2019, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JozefMera

While I'm writing these words, I realize that I do love her. I really do. And what I'm fighting is my ego that doesn't want to admit it. So hard!

Hi,

My experirence with this is that it is best to support that person you love in whatever it is that they want to do.

John

Sarian · #58 14-06-2019, 02:09 PM

First off, Josef, you ARE worthy, never doubt that or let another tell you you are not. I believe worthiness is something I have had to learn and truly believe because I can see the pattern throughout my life of people making me feel unworthy and myself allowing it. It's simply not true and it's not true for you either.

Your post truly breaks my heart. I'm not a counselor so who am I to tell you what to do, but say I was in your shoes and all that I've been though, I am not second best and I am worthy of being truly loved by someone for me, me alone, not loved by someone who's sharing that love or even giving more of the love that should be solely devoted to me, a sacred love shared by a man and woman committed to each other. You have to think do you want to and are you willing to settle to being second to another man even though you are married to her? She seems unwilling, at this point, to let go of this man and I do realize that karmic/soulmate/twinflame, whatever are enough to drive one crazy and to the point of obsession or being an obsession and that is not healthy, not for her, not for you, not for children involved. Would she consider counseling?

It seems to be eating you up inside. I know my relationship ate me up inside, nearly destroyed me. I can look at him now and shake my head in amazement in what the hell was that all about? But at the same time, still feel this bond which I wish wasn't there and I think if I didn't have to be in such close proximity of him, I'd be so much better off but it is what it is. I'm done with it. I never want that relationship back. I've learned and grown from it, painful as it is. Maybe this is something for your wife to learn? Maybe it's something for you to learn and grow from? Do not ever take part in negative thinking, hard as that may be. I know from experience and it can destroy a person.

All I can say is if she's not willing to go to couple's counseling or even for herself and even for yourself, being second to another while you are the one married to her is not healthy, nor right unless you are okay with it but you really have to think about yourself in this situation and what's best for you, truly in your heart...not the ego.

Sarian · #59 14-06-2019, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John32241

Hi,

My experirence with this is that it is best to support that person you love in whatever it is that they want to do.

John

I did that and it was detrimental to my life, my well being. I get what you are saying though,but when it drags out for months, then years, it's time to get the heck out of dodge.

JozefMera · #60 14-06-2019, 02:24 PM

We've been to the councelor together. It was marriage councelor. I'm having therapy myself. The problem is that noone yet has ever heard about TF so they take it as it is... an affair so it's hard to move forward. At least for me. The councelor tried to be independant, saying standard things about giving freedom to each other, keeping our things etc. But then I go back to basic question - why is this so different with female friend than male friend? I do believe male friend is possible but not on messenger every day. This is what I don't see as ok. But all this is not my heart. It's all from my ego. I want to go closer to my heart. Listen to it. Start to feel and understand. But when I just imagine it my whole body cries "I don't want HIM in my life". Do you know D.M.Ruiz? Magical kitchen? The more love you cook the more you have to share? So who want's that 100% who want's it all? Heart? Ego? This's been my question for more than a year now...