relationships here vs afterlife

[harleyquinn]

Quiet and silent perhaps, but if calmness comes to you when you need it most

there are moments, and it's usually with things seem the darkest- that a sudden peace washes over me. i assumed it was some sort of emotional protection that my brain was providing - it would be nice to think it was Michael trying to calm me.

I also wonder about the timing of when I decided to reach out to him. I had wanted to for a long time, but something stopped me...then all of a sudden I had an urgency to find him- that feeling started after he passed. So i have wondered if he impressed that urgency on me so I can know that he was gone.

this was the message I received back from his mom when i reached out to him- i reached out initially on facebook because i was not sure if there was any anger for me leaving him and i wanted to respect their life and family if there was

(i edited my name to my username for privacy and of course took out any personal details such as phone number etc)

Good morning HarleyQuinn! I'm SO glad that you found me! I so wanted to contact you and didn't have a clue how to go about it. Michael passed July 1st of this year and it was heart wrenching to say the least. HarleyQuinn, Michael loved you so much, I just wish things had been better for you two. I would love to hear from you as you are part of him! My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. And for your records my address is: *************************. I hope all is well with you babe. God bless and have a wonderful day.

His mom and I now stay in touch because, as she later told me on the phone, she believes that is what he would want. that was the same conversation where she confided that he would tell her how much he missed me.

the only blessing I see in this is the last two years of his life he moved back to be closer to his mom and they were able to mend a very broken relationship. Drugs ruined our marriage as well as the relationship he had with his family and i'm glad at least some of that got healed before he passed.

This thread here on sf has a host of books on the afterlife if you want to roll up your sleeves and start learning.

linen- thank you for that link of books! i will absolutely start reading right away! so far i have mostly read what i could find on the internet and a lot of it is very vague

[metal68]

Heres my list I made with a couple of updates. I hope you find it useful

My updated list

Science & The Afterlife Experience - Chris Carter *
Consciousness Beyond Life - Pim Van Lommel *
The Last Frontier - Julia Assante *
The Fun Of Dying -Roberta Grimes *
The Afterlife Unveiled - Stafford Betty *
Life After Death - Deepak Chopra
Adventures In The Afterlife - William Buhlman *
Multidimensional Man - Jurgen Zwiewe *
Answers About The Afterlife - Bob Olsen *
Is There Life After Death - Anthony Peake *
The Art Of Dying - Peter & Elizabeth Fenwick
A Lawyer Presents Evidence For The Afterlife - Victor Zammit *
The Afterlife Revealed - Michael Tymn *
Application Of Impossible Things - Natalie Sudman *
Stop Worrying, There Probably Is An Afterlife - Greg Taylor *
My Big TOE - Tom Campbell *
The Sacred History Of The World - Jonathan Black *
The Divine Matrix - Greg Braden
The Daemon - Anthony Peake *
Labyrinth Of Time - Anthony Peake *
Infinite Mindfield - Anthony Peake *
Out Of Body Experience - Anthony Peake *
Supernatural - Graham Hancock *
The Divine Spark - Graham Hancock
Biocentrism - Robert Lanza *
The Quest For Gnosis - Gabriel Roberts
Handbook To The Afterlife - Pamela Rae Heath *
Heaven and Hell Unveiled:Updates from the World of Spirit -Stafford Betty*
The World Unseen - Anthony Borgia *
The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe - Lynne Mctaggart
Ultimate Journey - Robert Monroe *
Life Between Lives:Hypnotherapy for Spiritual Regression -Michael Newton *
Life Beyond Death: What Should We Expect? - David Fontana *
Journey Of Souls - Michael Newton *
Destiny Of Souls - Michael Newton *
Science & The Akashic Field - Ervin Lazlo *
The Immortal Mind - Ervin Lazlo *
Genesis Unveiled:The Lost Wisdom of Our Forgotten Ancestors -Ian Lawton*
DMT The Spirit Molecule - Rick Strassman *
Entangled Minds - Dean Radin
Science & The Near Death Experience - Chris Carter *
Science & Psychic Phenomena - Chris Carter *
Evidence Of The Afterlife - Jeffrey Long *
Glimpses Of Eternity - Raymond Moody *
Wisdom Of Near Death Experiences - Penny Sartori
Death Makes Life Possible: Revolutionary Insights on Living, Dying, and the Continuation of Consciousness - Marilyn Schlitz
Randi's Prize: What Sceptics Say About the Paranormal, Why They Are Wrong, and Why It Matters Paperback – Robert McLuhan
Afterlife Unveiled - Teresa Cheung
Your Eternal Self - Dr Craig Hogan *
Quantum Physics, Near Death Experiences, Eternal Consciousness, Religion, and the Human Soul – William Joseph Bray *
On Life After Death - Elizabeth Kubler Ross *
The Afterlife Experiments - Gary Schwarz *
Vistas Of Infinity - Jurgen Zwiewe *
The Afterlife & The True Nature Of Reality - John T Mennella *
The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot *
Tell My Mother Im Not Dead - Trevor Hamilton
Embracing Uncertainty - Susan Jeffers *
The Sacred History, How Angels, Mystics And Higher Intelligences Made Our World - Jonathan Black
The Science Delusion - Rupert Sheldrake*
Adventures Beyond The Body - William Buhlman*
Voyage Beyond Doubt - Bruce Moen*

The stars are for the ones that I recommend more. As I say not all are specifically afterlife but all relate/tie in with the concepts at least.

[metal68]

Ill recommend you ten in particular off that list that I would really say to start with
Is There An Afterlife David Fontana
The Last Frontier Julia Assante
Mutidimensional Man/Vistas Of Infinity Jurgen Ziewe. Ok its really two but I count them as one, worth buying together
Science & The Afterlife Experience Chris Carter
Your Eternal Self Craig Hogan
Destiny Of Souls Michael Newton
The Immortal Mind Ervin Lazlo
The Afterlife & The True Nature Of Reality John T Mennella
The Afterlife Unveiled Michael Tymn
The Fun Of Dying Roberta Grimes
I could add a couple more but I honestly think these are great reading to start with. That full list is a bit overfacing. A lot of these books make use of science as opposed to sorcery and present credible, empirical data. They include NDE, past life regression, OBE, After Death Communication and mediumship evidence.

[desert rat]

You may bump in to him in an after life , he may visit you in dreams . Dream visits are common . You share karma , I see you togher in a future life to deal with the karma .

[metal68]

Dreams may just be dreams though. How can we ever tell for sure if its more than a dream??

[HMyBodhisattva]

Harleyquinn,

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you're on target with the timing. You knew something wasn't right, and I'm positive that he's been nudging you along so you would find out he's passed. I lost H in March, and he immediately was there giving me signs. Think back to around July 1st, and see if there was a shift at that time. Maybe you had some weird dreams etc. I'm sure he's reaching out to you. And that calm peaceful feeling your getting is definitely him comforting you. He's no longer dealing with the pain of addiction. And I bet now that you know, and are dealing with this crippling grief, you will start to realize he's around you and has been. :hugs:

[harleyquinn]

metal68: thank you! as i was going over all the books in the first link provided to me i was thinking there were so many i wasnt sure where to start! I will look over the books you suggested to start with!

i do appreciate books with scientific evidence. I am truly looking for truth even if it's not what i hope it will be...vs a feel good band-aid that is based on emotions


desert rat: bump into him? do we not stay with those we love in the afterlife? are we just wandering around alone bumping into people?

i talk to him daily with hopes that he can hear me. so many things left unsaid with both of us.

i do ask him to visit me in my dreams...so far nothing. even if we won't be together in the afterlife, to me it's more important to know he is ok.

i guess another question i have is...lets say after he passed he gained some knowledge and decided he no longer loves me (not sure if it's possible, but let's say it did...) and so because of this let's say he is not actually with me in spirit..he has moved on to something else, whatever else...... when i speak to him would he still hear me if he wasn't around me in that moment?

[harleyquinn]

Originally Posted by HMyBodhisattva

Harleyquinn,

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you're on target with the timing. You knew something wasn't right, and I'm positive that he's been nudging you along so you would find out he's passed. I lost H in March, and he immediately was there giving me signs. Think back to around July 1st, and see if there was a shift at that time. Maybe you had some weird dreams etc. I'm sure he's reaching out to you. And that calm peaceful feeling your getting is definitely him comforting you. He's no longer dealing with the pain of addiction. And I bet now that you know, and are dealing with this crippling grief, you will start to realize he's around you and has been. :hugs:

thank you so much for your kind words HMyBodhisattva. I am also very sorry for your loss.

the only thing that i recall happening around that time was actually not until July 11th. this is kind of a weird story. years ago when Michael and I were still married we were together and he found $100 bill on the ground.

I had looked right over it. In my life I have never found money, i am generally not a "lucky" person. i have told that story over the years in a, "see other people are lucky and i'm not" kind of way.

anyway. July 11th I was walking through a parking lot and glanced down at the ground and there was $50. it was the strangest thing. I looked around to see if it could belong to anyone but it was a huge mall parking lot late at night and there were not any other cars around.

i shrugged it off as- well i guess everyone gets lucky in their life once.

awhile after his mom told me about Michael's passing- i thought about that night. by then it had been several months and i couldnt even remember when this took place. i had to search through facebook bc i remembered what movie i saw that night and traced it down by when i checked into the theater (haha).

anyway, that was July 11th- and my mind wondered if that was Michael reaching out to me.

i am generally a very logical person and i feel like i have to fight my own mind when trying to determine if some sign is from Michael.

I read about how some people get clear, undeniable signs and i wonder why he can't give me something like that. if only to say- he is ok.

[desert rat]

Most of us have relationships with more that one person , you and he may chose to be with others . On dream visits we all go out of body during deep sleep , and only remember as a dream if at all . With many dream visits we meat the person on the astral plane . You may not remember your dream visit .

[harleyquinn]

Originally Posted by desert rat

Most of us have relationships with more that one person , you and he may chose to be with others . On dream visits we all go out of body during deep sleep , and only remember as a dream if at all . With many dream visits we meat the person on the astral plane . You may not remember your dream visit .

that is interesting about dream visits. I've read the way you know it was a visitation dream is because you remember it crystal clear- even if you don't normally remember your dreams.

98% of the time I do not remember my dreams. But since his passing there was one strange dream I remember.

so for a bit of context:
Every night I do pretty much the same thing. I look at Michael's picture, I tell him how much I love and miss him, I ask him to be with me throughout the night and I ask him to visit me in a dream if he can.

prior to this night I had not had ANY dreams about him since he passing- which was strange because I dreamed of him often before he passed.

this particular night I had a dream where I spoke to Michael on the phone 3 different times in a day....(when i woke up i had no recollection of what we had been talking about but I knew it was Michael i was on the phone with)......... After speaking to Michael on the phone the third time...i left my house and ran in to someone i knew, he told me Michael had passed away weeks prior. I told them that was impossible I just spoke with him. Then I started searching for his phone number again to call him and I couldn't find any trace of a phone number for him

it really was a strange dream