Sharing your beliefs and being shut down

[cc_nami]

So I'm on this other message board and I shared my beliefs and what helped me with my depression and anxiety and someone took offense to it. They basically called me demeaning and that wasn't my intention at all. Then I try to give my advice to someone else to help them and turns out they don't believe in anything I said because they were abused in a cult and this sort of thing is what those people used on her/him to brainwash them. I feel like every time I try to help, I am shut down. I feel like every time I try to help or share my experience, I am just hurting someone unintentionally.

The lady who I get reiki from told me twice that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Now I think I know what she meant by that. I want to help people. I want to help everyone and I want everyone to be happy, but their not and knowing I offended someone when I really meant to help them or knowing the person I am triggered someone because the people who abused her used tarot cards and such to hurt her/him bothers me. I'm crying right now and I never cry. I don't even know why I'm so emotional.

[froebellian]

You may wish to help people, but you can only help those who want to be helped.

Sadly, not everyone wishes to be happy and you must be realistic in that what makes one happy doesn't for another.

I would save your energy and help those who need it and ask for it.

[Phoenix Rising]

CC, never get affected by what others say to you. That is their intention for doing this. As froebellian said, not everyone wants to be happy so they want to make as many people as they can feel like they do, sad, depressed, angry.

I think what your reiki healer was trying to tell you is that you are an empath. All of us empaths carry huge weights around. We also want to help when we pick up on this need.

Offer your advice, but if they don't take it, they are either trolling because misery likes company or as frobellian said, they are not ready to receive the help you are offering.

So do not let this get down! Think of it as something good instead. Look at it like this, you will not get any karmic backlash because you offered your help.

[Somnia]

I agree with the others...People will accept advice when they are ready to hear it, but not everyone is willing to listen, no matter how sound the advice given may be...

Something else to keep in mind, if you share your advice with someone online (such as on a forum), while the OP may not accept your advice, there might be someone else lurking who has a similar problem as the OP and may benefit from reading what you have to say...So your kind words and advice might actually be helping/benefiting others whom you are not consciously aware of...

:)

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by cc_nami

So I'm on this other message board and I shared my beliefs and what helped me with my depression and anxiety and someone took offense to it. They basically called me demeaning and that wasn't my intention at all. Then I try to give my advice to someone else to help them and turns out they don't believe in anything I said because they were abused in a cult and this sort of thing is what those people used on her/him to brainwash them. I feel like every time I try to help, I am shut down. I feel like every time I try to help or share my experience, I am just hurting someone unintentionally.

Advice can at times come off as imposing. A lot of times people post things on a forum to vent out, or share experiences and aren't really looking for advice. Not sure if this was the case with you or not.

Originally Posted by Sundancer

Offer your advice, but if they don't take it, they are either trolling because misery likes company or as frobellian said, they are not ready to receive the help you are offering.

I'm pretty sure there are many reasons why a person wouldn't take someone else advice that has nothing to do with readiness or trolling. Especially if advice was never wanted to begin with.

[sea-dove]

Not everyone who shares wants advice, some just share to get things off their chest as maybe they have no one else to talk to (this doesnt mean the other is trolling).
.....

I have a severe illness and so often on even the mention of this, even if I dont ask for advice.... people who really have not a clue at all just love to try to advise me... often that advice is bad. (i dont really share about myself here but Im talking about just what Ive found in general life at times). Maybe consider more if the person is actually asking for advice or is that person just sharing.

Some advice may also be offensive.. I dont know if you are doing this but if you helped your depression by praying to GOD and was telling others with depression that they just need to pray for healing, that would be offensive to many esp those who may not be of the same belief.

[hineahuone]

you sound like an empath and pick up on other people's spiritual energy. Giving advice when it is not asked for is going to get you into trouble anyway. I had a similar problem as an emerging healer i had to hold back from offering advice or healing to people who were not ready and some were in very dark negative spaces that requires a bit of self protection before you go in there. I am learning slowly to assess from a distance and protect myself using white light before I open my mouth or typing in a forum.

[Rokazulu]

I like helping people as well, I use to give advice to people whenever I could, and I realized no one ever took it. One person even got extremely offended by my advice once and we got into a huge squabble as a result of it.

So, I have learned to understand this situation better. Now I do not give any advice but instead simply give my perspective of the situation. I do my best to never give suggestions, but simply tell what has worked for me. Saying something like "you should" or "you must" is always going to seem a bit contentious and will make people upset with you a lot of times. Especially, when it is topics such as self-empowerment.

Still though, people will simply not respond to any of my posts or perspectives about anything. But, this doesn't invalidate my perspective in anyway. People are free to ignore or discuss any issue they want, and I feel that someone will cross by my posts and it will seep into their sub-conscious and take root at some later point in their life.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by cc_nami

So I'm on this other message board and I shared my beliefs and what helped me with my depression and anxiety and someone took offense to it. They basically called me demeaning and that wasn't my intention at all. Then I try to give my advice to someone else to help them and turns out they don't believe in anything I said because they were abused in a cult and this sort of thing is what those people used on her/him to brainwash them. I feel like every time I try to help, I am shut down. I feel like every time I try to help or share my experience, I am just hurting someone unintentionally.

The lady who I get reiki from told me twice that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Now I think I know what she meant by that. I want to help people. I want to help everyone and I want everyone to be happy, but their not and knowing I offended someone when I really meant to help them or knowing the person I am triggered someone because the people who abused her used tarot cards and such to hurt her/him bothers me. I'm crying right now and I never cry. I don't even know why I'm so emotional.

Crying is a good thing - just let it all out...all of it.

Whatever your beliefs, whatever you believe in, surrender your tears to that (I awakened this way).

Then realise that the internet is nothing but a cesspool of anonymity. You have no idea if these people are being honest with you, nor you with them.

The advice given previously is awesome and very sound as well - some people aren't ready to hear what you have to say and will ask for your help if they need it and it is considered an imposition at any other time, but ask yourself honestly, who are you trying to help here, them or yourself?

When I first joined SF, it was my desire to help people and lead many to have a spiritual experience/awakening, however I was just ignored for the most part and if I wasn't ignored, I was asked 'what makes you the expert in such matters?' I wanted to share whatever I had experienced with others, but what it was I experienced couldn't be put into words anyway, so what was the point?

I learned that having a spiritual awakening is a very personal and often lonely and isolating thing when it seems like the only one who can derive any benefit out of that is you and nobody else...however, what this does is force us even deeper into our own belief systems to find out why.

So, whatever you believe in, just seek refuge in that, then the object of your worship/belief/love will place people in your path whom you can help or who can help you also.

There are still a few people on SF I try and bring to self-awareness and try to make them experience God...out of habit...but I just sense something about them, like I was meant to help them, even though they resist and tell me to mind my own business...yeah, telling somebody to MYOB on the internet is like LOL.

Even if they don't want to hear it, still doesn't stop one from speaking, really. Even if you get 'shut down', you can still start the motor back up...even if the door gets slammed in your face, you can still kick it in...they'll probably just end up ignoring you totally, but you will get to have the last say in that thread...eventually. lol

What it takes is for you to just have a bit of confidence in yourself and what you believe in. Confidence and faith in your beliefs is the key here and once it is established, nothing can shut you down or hold you back...but make sure you aren't imposing your beliefs upon them or ramming them down their throat either.

Often, it also helps to 'ask the right questions' instead of 'giving the right answers' and if you feel somebody is ignoring you or shutting you down, it also helps to say 'I'm sorry, I was only trying to help out, why are you shutting me down?' or 'why do you think I am being demeaning?' or 'please explain yourself'.

It helps being totally and brutally honest with people about how you feel, especially if they have just done likewise...but above all, remain as cool as a cucumber throughout this process.

You can decide to do any/all of those suggestions above.

I'm 'sposed to be taking a 'net break' but I feel like I am on the improve here and nice, positive thoughts are returning after being attacked by the 'demons of influenza'....so I am getting better now.

Peace and love to you.

[froebellian]

Originally Posted by Rokazulu

I like helping people as well, I use to give advice to people whenever I could, and I realized no one ever took it. One person even got extremely offended by my advice once and we got into a huge squabble as a result of it.

So, I have learned to understand this situation better. Now I do not give any advice but instead simply give my perspective of the situation. I do my best to never give suggestions, but simply tell what has worked for me. Saying something like "you should" or "you must" is always going to seem a bit contentious and will make people upset with you a lot of times. Especially, when it is topics such as self-empowerment.

Still though, people will simply not respond to any of my posts or perspectives about anything. But, this doesn't invalidate my perspective in anyway. People are free to ignore or discuss any issue they want, and I feel that someone will cross by my posts and it will seep into their sub-conscious and take root at some later point in their life.

The thing is sometimes people don't need or want advice, and I meet many spiritual people who wish to heal everyone and make everything happy. This is unrealistic.

These days people do get offended when advice is given when not asked, if you put yourself in their shoes, unless they say the words, "What do you think," "Or have you got any advice," then you have zero right to say anything (unless you are the parent of a child).

Learning to listen is a much greater skill, and then knowing if someone needs advice or a hand to hold. I sometimes get people asking for help and I can't give it (because they aren't ready to accept certain things), and people do offer me help when I don't need it, or it's beyond help.

Even here on SF where I have been for years I get people giving me advice that I have neither asked for or want, and thus I have quite a few on ignore.