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02-06-2017, 07:38 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 140
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Being attractive to females
If you're a female reading this then maybe you can give me your perspective.
I think the key to sexual attraction is removing anything that makes it seem as though you are trying and basically just playing the part of somebody who you see in your mind of having the following attributes: unattached, grounded, and spontaneous. Also, as a male you should not try to fit into a female's view of you. What they think about you is their business. The male and female should live independently in terms of intellect because this is what makes for the best condition for sexual attraction.
Also, I've come to realize that it is very attractive for a person to focus on others rather than to be wrapped up in just yourself. You have to be aware of others' emotions in order for people to feel that you are open. But you should also have a sense of self in the moment. I think some people have a better awareness than others, either you have it or you don't.
I think a lot of anxiety will vanish when you place your energy outwards and see that other people are too worried about their own lives to spend energy judging you. I'm talking about anxiety because it is what holds a lot of people back in becoming their true selves.
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02-06-2017, 08:12 AM
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Master
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 5,806
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hi Timeless.
i see a lot of 'good' things in your post, and a lot of stuff that i disagree with too.
i think the best part is in your final words, where you speak of "becoming their
true selves", which i see as being 'authentic'.
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02-06-2017, 08:23 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E
hi Timeless.
i see a lot of 'good' things in your post, and a lot of stuff that i disagree with too.
i think the best part is in your final words, where you speak of "becoming their
true selves", which i see as being 'authentic'.
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Care to elaborate on what you disagree with?
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02-06-2017, 08:55 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: U.K.
Posts: 735
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I think we are all so very different it would be impossible to list desirable attributes that everybody would agree on.
What your talking about is very heathy, seeking Someone grounded and independent, someone true to themselves... that's just not what some people are looking for though.. especially when your on about sexual attraction. It is important to be true to who you are to attract the right people though.
For me what's sexually attractive is a sense of humour, quiet confidence, caring easy going nature.. if I'm completely honest height can play a part.
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02-06-2017, 09:26 AM
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Master
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Pretoria South Africa
Posts: 19,523
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Because people are different, they look for different things in a relationship and so the attributes will be as varied as the individuals. Some do not want to look but prefer to fall in love spontaneously and they will find out who their partner is along the way. There is no standardisation I am afraid.
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02-06-2017, 09:40 AM
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Master
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Salford, UK
Posts: 3,240
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What I've found in my own experience is that women tend to be attracted to me because (um, not to toot my own horn!) I'm a fully engaged, attentive listener, and I'm kind and considerate. Plus I don't take myself too seriously and I've got a pretty good sense of humour, I like to think. And as Dude says, being tall doesn't hurt either!
Yeah all right, that might sound a bit braggy But it's funny because I used to be pretty superficial, it was all about looks, and that didn't work in my favour because I didn't like the way I looked, and consequently I didn't have much confidence around women because I felt like I had nothing to offer that they would really want. I still struggle with that, tbh, if I see a nice-looking female on the street I still feel pretty shy, but once I get to know women they often gravitate towards me.
__________________
What is your experience right now, in this moment?
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02-06-2017, 10:08 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 712
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Ive found that if a girl is smart or thinks she's smart, you saying/doing something smarter will be a turnoff, or more like a hit to her ego that a guy might actually know more
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02-06-2017, 10:17 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A human Being
What I've found in my own experience is that women tend to be attracted to me because (um, not to toot my own horn!) I'm a fully engaged, attentive listener, and I'm kind and considerate. Plus I don't take myself too seriously and I've got a pretty good sense of humour, I like to think. And as Dude says, being tall doesn't hurt either!
Yeah all right, that might sound a bit braggy But it's funny because I used to be pretty superficial, it was all about looks, and that didn't work in my favour because I didn't like the way I looked, and consequently I didn't have much confidence around women because I felt like I had nothing to offer that they would really want. I still struggle with that, tbh, if I see a nice-looking female on the street I still feel pretty shy, but once I get to know women they often gravitate towards me.
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Do tell more
Even if youre not paying attention it feels good when someone can be staring at you and not hear a word, being 'taken by their beauty' then youll have that quirky cuteness and bonus she'll feel smarter than u because u didnt hear a word
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02-06-2017, 12:35 PM
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Know who you are. Be that.
Care about who she is. Learn who she is. Listen to her. On all levels.
All while staying you.
And last and most important. Listen to her
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02-06-2017, 01:22 PM
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Master
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Badcopyinc
Know who you are. Be that.
Care about who she is. Learn who she is. Listen to her. On all levels.
All while staying you.
And last and most important. Listen to her
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Everything one learns in life 40 years and 3 failed relationships too late...
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