Bad "friends" taking advantage of you for your gifts...

[aury_13]

This might be long, drawn-out, & a bit confusing, so I'm gonna do my best to make it readable (I tend to type sometimes w/ a bit of a Cuban accent, or so I've heard. Bear w/ me...)

I used to hang out for a couple years w/ this girl around twenty years ago, who liked to take advantage of people by not only pretending to be something she wasn't, but was also extremely controlling & opportunistic. I met her in high school through my best friend, & we bumped into each other a few years after we had graduated (she graduated the year before my best friend & me). We started out by talking on the phone, then hanging out at her house, where she started telling me these bullcrap stories of a cult who used "cloaking devices" coming after her. Of course, I didn't believe a word of it, because I'm not an idiot. After she realized I wasn't falling for that whole spiel, she started claiming that she had mediumship abilities (of course, that was a lie as well). Right away I started schooling her on mediumship (I'm the one w/ abilities, never her) as well as spirituality, she would tune out because it would tick her off that I knew so much more about it than she did & that I wasn't falling for her lies.

Not only would she lie about spirituality & the like, but she would always try to one-up me, no matter how messed up the subject would get sometimes. For example, I told her that I was an SA survivor, & she claimed that she was as well, & tried to come up w/ a worst story than mine. She even tried to one-up me while I was having a PTSD-induced flashback of my assault by pretending to have one as well, instead of making any attempt to help.

As for how she could be controlling, there were times where I wanted to hang out w/ my best friends (including one who was visiting from out of town), & she ripped into me over the phone because we allegedly had plans to hang out & she had the audacity to say I was being a bad friend to her.

These are just a few examples. Finally, after my family & I had moved out of that house in Miami & into another house in the suburbs one county over, she admitted to me over the phone that she was using me for my hospitality because of all the times that she would spend the night in the efficiency I had in the old house. So, taking that admission, I finally tore her a new one over the phone, & told her to never contact me again.

Thinking back, I've come to realize just how much of a con artist she was, & how much of snake as well.

[Miss Hepburn]

What is 'SA'? Sexual Attack?

Best to read the Rules on foul language or swear words. Thanks

[aury_13]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

What is 'SA'? Sexual Attack?

Best to read the Rules on foul language or swear words. Thanks

Close... Sexual assault.

Sorry about that. Was trying to keep it clean, but one word slipped out. I edited it.

[Starman]

Why did you hang around with her? Once you learn that a person is toxic you need to protect yourself by either avoiding that person or trying to get that person help. Although lots of people play one-ups-men-ship with other people; those people are often very insecure.

I find it is necessary to protect my own inner peace and also to protect my own energy, regardless whether it is a friend, lover, or family member. What and who you let into your life will effect you. Toxic people can poison you but you do have personal boundaries and personal power to avoid such poisoning.

You can not change other people but you can change how you interact with other people. Personally I do not hang around with negative people and if they want to know why, I tell them about their negativity.

[Lynn]

Hello

Its not always easy to break free there are many factors that control our lives that intertwine. I know that one 33 years with my EX but there were lessons there and kids to bring into life. I tried so many times to break that bond and in the end I did get free !

Many times its an energy connection that is one that is there for us to learn lessons and grow into whom we are now that keeps us there. Good or bad take something from that time and grow from it. See what is truly there more clearly as you learned a lot I feel.

Keeping in mind you always come first in any interactions so self protection and interests is key. Keeping your own space while allowing someone into that space for a time only.

I have learned I come first even over family if there is no you there is nothing for anyone around you that does matter.

Lynn

[aury_13]

Originally Posted by Starman

Why did you hang around with her? Once you learn that a person is toxic you need to protect yourself by either avoiding that person or trying to get that person help. Although lots of people play one-ups-men-ship with other people; those people are often very insecure.

I was in a really bad place mentally back then, dealing w/ PTSD after being raped by someone I thought I was in love w/ who turned out to be toxic as well.

[aury_13]

Originally Posted by Lynn

Hello

Its not always easy to break free there are many factors that control our lives that intertwine. I know that one 33 years with my EX but there were lessons there and kids to bring into life. I tried so many times to break that bond and in the end I did get free !

Thank you.

[Miss Hepburn]

The Admin has asked us to copy only 2-3 sentences of a member's post, Thanks

[AngelBlue]

The PTSD and subject you talk about in #post 6 is something that I and my family have suffered and had to live with and deal with.
Anyone , and I do mean ANYONE that can try to play the game of "oneupmanship" with the victim of such events is no better than the person that committed the actual crime against you.
No one needs "friends" like this.
You are well rid of her.

[aury_13]

Thank you.