Pardon me while I scream my lungs out!!!!

[onetruebeliever]

Oh boy. I just have to get this off of my chest. I hope no one ever has to experience dementia in a parent! Not only does my Mom have dementia, but she is supremely stubborn on top of it . I know I have posted about this before, but today was tough. She'll be over her mad in a day or two, but good grief.

She has back pain that is medicated all it can be medicated. Both docs(pain and pc) have told her she has to move - walk, stretch, bend, sit up. But because it hurts she won't. It hurts because she won't move. She walks, but only a hundred feet or so. She will not push herself. She will not move after I leave!!!! UGH!!! I told her today she has to do the work to make it feel a little better. She said she won't. I said then I don't want to hear her complaining. Well, then she's not walking anymore. Period. Childish stuff. She took it as I didn't want to come over everyday and that I didn't want to take her to the library. What???? UGH!!!! We went through this when she quit meals on wheels, too.

Sorry. I had to vent somewhere before I imploded. LOL. Every day gets a teeny bit closer to senior home time, but not quite yet. This is such a sad thing to witness. Thanks for letting me yell.

Sorry to hear you having such a rough time Onetruebeleiver.
My grandmother had temporary dementia in hospital before she passed (they say the older people get it, if there is a change in scenary..aka hospital) and that was hard enough, as she was seeing me on tv in the soapies (bless) but also got real nasty and stubborn aswell with the nursing staff and her closest friends, thinking that they were conspiring against her, and the hospital lights were actually spy cameras. She also claimed she saw my grandfather (passed) but he was having an affair with the lady in the bed next to her and they were passing secret love letters. She distrusted her closest friends, and i was the only person whom she would trust. I had to play the whole thing out, because according to the doc, the best thing is to just actually go ahead with the charade. so i dont know, i was saying i would have a word with the nurses and tell them to remove the spy cams LOL.

I know it is not funny and there are worse cases, i am lucky it wasnt so extreme, but yes i do take my hat off for anyone dealing with a person whom has dementia.

Good luck, thinking of you.

[onetruebeliever]

Thanks for the kind thoughts, Tammy. I just needed to vent and my family doesn't want to hear it too often. Mom was fine today. She was in a good mood today(maybe she didn't remember the whole todo.) She didn't mention walking today, and neither did I. She also didn't do her usual complaining about the pain either. I guess she remembered, she just knows she needs to hear this stuff from time to time. She is being evaluated for depression in a couple of weeks. I think that's part of her problem. Oh well, I love her and I will take care of her as long as I can.

Oh dear. Hospitals are hard on some for sure. I am sorry to hear of your Grandma's passing. We had an episode similar to that the last time Mom was in the hospital. My poor brother had to go in in the middle of the night to clam her down. Sad.

[Dreamer_love]

Sorry to hear OTB, good luck in dealing with these harsh life lessons.

[Berry]

Big hugs for Onetruebeliever. You can vent to me anytime. My mom has vascular dementia and my father in law has dementia. It's not easy dealing with doctors appointments and daily routines. I'm glad you had a better day yesterday. Hope today was a good one as well.

[onetruebeliever]

Yippee!!! Another wonderful day in caretaker land. My mom takes a pain med and uses a pain patch. We are on patch #3 of 10. Today, something(or someone) told me to look at the box. She was prescribed her old dose - double her current dose. So far, no ill effects, but in one or two more days she will be so foggy and out of it. Not good.

Granted, I should have looked at the scrip, but dang it - I have not had an issue with it being correct before. It's not like I don't have anything else to do all day. We had 3 doc appts. this week alone. Plus my labs. I am tired.

I have had so much trouble with getting her scrips at all. It's a narcotic, so it has to be called in a week ahead of time(not always an easy thing), and I have to go pick it up - halfway across town. They lose my request more often than not, I have been lied to(person no longer works there), and accused of it being me who's screwing up! I asked her primary care if he could prescribe it to her and because of an agreement(narcotics) no other doc can prescribe to her. UGH!! Monday, I will talk to both docs and get her scrips transferred to primary care- I am so fed up! She is maintenance only - pain doc can't do anything more for her.

What if this was a med that could kill a person if overdosed! The doc had his MA fill out the scrips - he just signed it without double checking. Unbelievable. I then had to call the pharmacy to find out what to do because of medicare and the whole mess. Another 15 minutes on the dang phone. So, a little scream and I will feel better! LOL!

((((((hugs)))))))

[onetruebeliever]

This all really doctors faults. Over the last 25 years, Mom's docs have thrown pills and shots at her instead of making her move, lose weight, whatever the situation! Plus, she is so damned stubborn. Her PCP will not prescribe her pain meds, and the two other pain docs he refers to aren't taking new patients. Her current pain doc is being evasive as far as a referral goes. I called a couple and we don't need a referral, but they will not take her just for medication management. Nothing more can be done - it is muscular from non use. Her stupid choice.

I am so angry - at her docs, and her. I don't know how she would fair without the meds. When she went without them(office screw up) and then started back on them, she couldn't tell the difference, but, it was only three days and she still had some in her system.

UGH!!!!!! The situation is what it is, but why did docs do this? Oh well. If we have to stay with this doc, I will make very certain he knows I will get a lawyer if this EVER happens again. As it is, I should contact the director of the clinic and let him know how bad this office has gotten. It should not take an act of congress to have scrips filled out and ready for me to pick up. And to top this all off - when I went to get her rewritten scrip, they were taking on 85 new patients!! The office was crammed and the office manager was beside herself because she had to call older patients and switch their appointments to another day!!!

[Berry]

It's so fustrating to have no control over the entire situation.

Thinking of you and hoping things will calm down and get better for you and your Mom.

I know the prescriptions are of utmost importance. Does your Mom also take natural remedies for pain? My father in law has had recent surgery and for pain management, we added pineapple juice and cherry extract for his flare-ups.

Hi OTB. My mother is the same. Has had dementia since she had mini strokes about five years ago. We managed to get her into an assisted living situation because she refused meals on wheels. She was really bad about her meds too. Would never keep track of when she took them and was taking too many of them because she'd forget! As hard as it has been, I have learned that it's simply easier to just agree with her and if she falls and breaks her hip (which she did) then she falls and breaks her hip. My mother will not listen to anyone except my older brother. Try to distance yourself emotionally and then it won't drive you crazy. I still have to remind myself not to get wound up with my mother. I never say I told you so. Sometimes it's just easier to go along than to try and swim upstream against the current. Good luck!