Vast Disconnect

Originally Posted by DARKEST_HOUR

Can you describe what you mean when you say "he's just gone" ? Like is he not in your head anymore of what? And how long have you been separated? In my situation she's still in the back of my head, but I'm mostly over the grieving part. Kind of like I got used to the fact that shes there, and someday I'm assuming it won't be there anymore or something. I don know I guess it's just my ego since I'm quite frankly fed up with everything. Just the other day I was asking myself what would I do if she called me out of the blue and told me she wanted to see me?? In a way im kind of scared of seeing her because I don't know what to expect and I don't even know if I'm ready.....Everything just feels ruined cause of this separation, does anybody else feel this way?

Your question, if anyone else feels this way, for me YES. Recently I've been thinking what I would do or how I would react if I finally met him. The scene plays out in mind in so many ways: I'm in tears, afraid, unsure of how to react or possibly run away. Sometimes I think he'll recognize me and stop me before I run away, telling me hes scared to but its time. We can learn this, get through it together. I don't know, I want to have in my life so bad, to have him physically here so my mind will be satisfied in knowing yes he is real, though my heart and soul has always known. He's been at the back of my mind too. Last night, I was in so much tears, out of nowhere. I felt a reiki symbol though. its faint outline in my mind, so strongly. It felt like someone was using it on me. I don't know the symbols so I cant really use them, but It felt as if someone was using it on me. It struck my core and I couldn't stop crying. I kept wondering if it was him, but I'll never really know. Its another experience I should write down, but never do in the end.