Women and Being over 51% serving to others

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

Natures flow - you seem like a pretty introspective person. I'm surprised you haven't seen the driving force behind all this "self empowerment/self objectification"

Just like men are conditioned to believe they aren't enough unless they have money or power, woman are conditioned to believe they aren't enough unless they have men's attention constantly afirming their looks. That's what drives the selfie craze. It isn't a healthy personality that constantly seeks outside validation. Do you know her well in person? There is usually a stark contrast between social media personality and reality.

It seems to have brought up something for you in your noticing. I am not driving that point your driving it and its not the be all point of all reasons, that is my reflection as a self reflective person reflecting upon this. It may well fit into the whole as could any number of reasons as to why. As to your questions. She exposes herself in everyway of her world, did you miss that part in my awareness of her, I did share much about her beyond exposing herself in selfies alone, but again focus has raised itself and making note through its own reasons as to why people choose to be this way. I choose to notice the person not the selfie...goodness gracious me, if you knew how I connect with people in real life you would understand I don't need to hold reasons as to why people are as they are. I just accept them as they are if I want to know them and appreciate them. Quite frankly I sometimes get more value out of the weird and wonderful sensation seekers than I do the other types..they feel more real to me. hehehe

The Hollywood thing I think we all know is starlets bodies are just another tool in the tool kit, more attention equals more money and fame so no Baile they aren't doing it because they want to go looking for sex or that is how they commonly off stage present themself . They want what drives them, money and power and know which tricks will get them that effect.

The trickle down to common people selfies and wardrobe choice is the want for the same attention. It's not a statement of how great they are as a person good or bad just conditioning.

The whole thing is unfortunate because everyone is enough and worthy but all the nonsense posturing keeps everyone in the game blind not seeing their and each other's deeper worth.

Again it is just your opinion of many opinions making claims upon people that you don't know fully. Goodness gracious me. Didn't you ask that question to me about knowing people for real? Gosh almighty. SO much contradiction arises in people full of passionate reasoning and believing there reason is the answer..As for worth I choose to look there before all the other seeing you mentioned.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

so no Baile they aren't doing it because they want to go looking for sex or that is how they commonly off stage present themself .

Lady Gaga strutting her almost-naked stuff because she's "looking for sex" is not the point I was making. Nevertheless, for every man who just wants a shag, there is a woman who dresses up in something resembling lingerie because she wants to look sexy and attract someone for sexual reasons. All this nonsense about it just being the male wanting to get in the woman's pants... what a bunch of baloney. And when I say baloney, I really mean the stuff that drops out of a horse's behind.

Originally Posted by naturesflow

There is that too. Tabboo- yoo hoo!



So we could call them hard core gamers in their own sheeple-chase game? Maybe they think there is a prize to be taken? A sheeple grin perhaps? Gone are the days of pleasure inspired fun when I got my kicks from a jughead and veronica comic ...(I was a hard core comic book fan just so you know, I lived a sheltered existence for far too long, but at least I kept it simple lol ) Its all an industry uhuh, you are so wise and a real hoot Miss Lorelyen. (have I told you that lately, somewhere, sometime not so long ago? ...me thinks I did)

Yes, I recall. You 'ad me 'owling over something. And I'll send another toowit-toowoo to you as you're up so late, SO very late.

A few lines to a song comes to mind reading this. It goes like this..."Look around you, it will astound you" I need say no more. Experience is a good teacher so they say. I haven't learnt everything yet, so I must need more experience, perhaps. Or maybe I could go back to reading my comics ...hey yeah I need to do that, maybe create one of my own..(I got stop thinking of ideas, its doing my head in..lol )

Oh but you've learned a very great deal so far on your sojourn through life.... You've looked; you've seen... not pretended to see like most people do. I really chimed with your story about your friend. It was something with which I can (what's the fashionable word? Oh...I know) resonate. Not that I'm in that league exactly (that of your friend) but (having done a few (contemporary music) gigs) I can appreciate.

People are people, sheeple or not. Fill your own cup to overflowing and keep it there, that way you don't have to notice it's emptying itself out.

It has tea in it at the moment and I may have to thrust it in the microwave to reheat it. Well, you know of the tarot and to what I was referring.

And yes my friends space is that she is a visually orientated woman who is of extroverted nature, who is a bit of a sensation seeker, but like you mentioned, there is a defiance in her as one which relates to both the taboo and her own background and generational confinement and suppression of the female form...Radical confinement-radical exposure. Good on you Loreleyn for taking a outgoing, occasionally, sometimes defiant sort of thing too.. woo hoo!!


I think your frequency is freaking me out a little...your getting scarily out spoken and I am simply astounded..

I hope not. I mean, you aren't going to consign me to your ignore list are you? Promise I'll be in-spoken for a while.

If there's one illumination here that makes me think...it's you.

♥

[Clover]

Originally Posted by august2803

How can i get the women i desire while being over 51% service to others? The only thing i desire for myself is beautiful women, i want to be of full service to them, but when i am it seems i am not, they dont want a nice guy or is that a collective thought system i alone can transcend? Seems hard to do so though?

August2803's, I think more than a number of people have given you sound advice, would you like to provide feedback? If not, I think the topic has been plateaued out

Members lets try to focus on the original question, personally, I think the OP has received more than enough sound advice. This thread is not in the strong opinion section to start bringing in all sorts of debates in, lets keep discussions on a spiritual development context, Thanks for the contributions and let's keep it friendly with each other.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Baile

Actually I was making light of your predictable response to august. Pretty much every time a similar topic comes up, you jump in with both feet to rail against men who are only ever looking for a shag. As if women don't use men as well, my goodness. And BTW, your going on and on about how sexist and sex-crazed men are? That's sexist.

Originally Posted by Baile

I read this, and it's clear you are dead set against having any kind of authentic dialogue on this topic. You apparently need to be right. This topic is so close to your heart that you refuse to allow a dissenting opinion get in the way of your truth. And so you willfully ignore the point I am making, and instead turn it around and put it all on me. Like I'm the bad guy for daring to contradict your POV.

Yeah, that's not me up there dancing in my bikini undies. That's WOMEN. That's my point. Women put their sexual stuff out there and jam it in peoples' faces, just like guys do!

Baile, hello there. You didn't address me by name or say hello, but I assume your emotional vent was directed at me since you clipped my posts.

If you read my response to the OP, you noted I spoke about women who are predatory at GREAT LENGTH. It was the primary focus of my post, that and to become more aware of his own motivations and how they may attract this sort of woman.

I will assume that you did read it.

So it strikes me your words are not so much a real reply to me but rather an emotional venting which can occur to anyone when their blood is up. However -- it's far better IMO to vent about a topic or an aspect of society, than to get into too much venting about any particular person himself or herself.

You also, like most men, are wired differently than most women. And for that reason, you think women who wear bikinis on stage are "jamming their sexual stuff in people's faces". Women are not wired the same way as men (99% of the healthy, stable, non-predatory ones) -- and you as a man should, ideally, strive and struggle as best you can to never, never forget that. Meaning...a woman in a bathing suit is often just enjoying feeling comfortable with herself. Perhaps if onstage she is trying to earn money. And if so then that's what it is for her, a job...not an apre-orgy or whatever it is men may fantasise about when they see women in catsuits onstage.

A healthy, non-predatory woman is not focused on sex or intercourse or men's parts, just in general. We have a different relationship with our bodies and our sexualities. So seeing women's or men's skin or bodies neither threatens a woman nor arouses her in any direct carnal way. In that way, she is simply not like most men. She's not trying to put her gonads "in your face". She's simply wearing a bathing suit in public, or whatever. And YES she still expects that you or any man get past your animal nature, own your game, control yourself, and see her humanity.

IF you or the OP or any man feel she is simply trying to coerce you sexually in exchange for money or status, etc...then there is a straightforward way to sort the situation. Slow down. Do not pursue. Or, pursue slowly and with the highest honour and intention only, strictly in order to get to know her and love her as a person and as a friend first and foremost. If she's a predator, she will immediately lose interest if she feels she cannot manipulate you in exchange for sex -- and like a predatory man, she will have no interest in getting to know you beyond the initial superficial meetups, particularly if she is not getting what she wants (the upper hand, control meted out through sex).

What I was saying to to OP applies to loads of men -- if they repeatedly engage or tangle with probable predators in order to have easy sex on demand, then they first need to strengthen themselves, overcome their addiction to sex &/or porn, and own their game.

Peace & blessings,
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by FoxSpirit

August2803's, I think more than a number of people have given you sound advice, would you like to provide feedback? If not, I think the topic has been plateaued out

Members lets try to focus on the original question, personally, I think the OP has received more than enough sound advice. This thread is not in the strong opinion section to start bringing in all sorts of debates in, lets keep discussions on a spiritual development context, Thanks for the contributions and let's keep it friendly with each other.

I just saw this and I hope what I have posted continues to be either informative &/or of some interest to all who have engaged in this thread.
& much love & light to all the wonderful voices who posted that I wanted to acknowledge...and so will simply do so here

Peace & blessings,
7L

[august2803]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

I think you might be running into issues because you are shooting for a percentage, you have a plan.

No one wants a doormat they want to know what makes a person tick, what they love, what interests their partner. If all you are doing is catering to them you aren't really sharing yourself with them.

Instead of thinking of serving(I recognize the loo 51%) perhaps think of part of your service being sharing who you are, and yes woman actually do love nice guys so don't worry about that, you can still do the sto but not to the point you hide your own beingness from them.

The issue is with fake nice just to get something (acting a certain way that is not genuine to win a girl) because it's manipulation and also not being so nice the girl never finds out who the real you is.

The last part is a real issue. My husband did that for years before I nearly lost my mind. I just so badly wanted to know him but in an effort to be nice he was truly just denying me that gift.

Either way the right woman is one that matches you so to be truly matched you have to know yourself and be yourself.

I hope some of that was at least a tiny bit helpful.
Don't lose hope!

often i feel women judge be for beinh that when i am sincere i have allways been nice to others since i was little, but when i grew up women didnt like it; i met a couple beautiful girls who likd it but i think that was just because they were tired of being treated like ****, thougj they did have insane gasms lolz

[august2803]

i am very pleased with all answers thank u very much, all of u:)

[TheGlow]

Well to complicate your search you may actually just need a super nice woman to match you. They won't think it's insincerity.

In real life I tend to be "too nice" but I'm constantly still surprised when others aren't. Again luckily my husband is a super nice person. I never think his "too nice" is fake because it seems like how people should be.

Mind you it took a ton of work to get him to be a bit more selfish and pursue some things for himself selfishly. That's why I recommend you getcto jnow yourself better. That was the only thing he couldn't give me and what I really wanted most - just to know him deeply, but since he didn't I couldn't either.

Thankfully we are past that. Do that work now if you can. :)

[alphamind]

delete please