Is it safe for me to be having hope?

I feel openly questioning this to be very juvinile but I am hoping someone will read this and give me some feedback as to if I am being in denial that he clearly wants to end things with me, or if I am being rational with having some hope.

So after 10 days of not having any communication from him I finally got to get some response. I am slightly concerned I am not seeing things clearly, if he is telling me he wants to just end it completely with me or not.

It's best we have our space right now. I'm really doubtful we are going to be able to work. But right now it's not about arguing, it's about space. I don't recieve your messages.

I then messaged him after waking up from a dream where I found myself running somewhere excitedly with a group of people. As I turned a corner I found him randomly walking in the direction I was running from, I could clearly see him as we looked at one another for a moment and smiled very warmly. As I kept on my way I wondered if he was dreaming of me in that moment.

Anyways, I said this ..

Please give me a call. It's the least I deserve. I feel really bad. I am under so much emotional distress.

I'm sorry but it's not going to work right now.

Why can we not talk or see one another though?

It's time to move on.
(..I can't tell if he is saying move on from our relationship
or move on in our lives ..
or move on in our relationship by moving on in our lives ..)

Things are so different now
(I think he was refferring more too how our external lives have changed, especially his.)

I went on to state some of my emotions briefly regarding us.

I understand the way you feel

I then went on to tell him that it has taken a huge toll on me. How I feel I am in a nightmare.

I am sorry :(

I then asked if he could come over one last time.

He replied with a no very clearly.
We have to have space.

I replied ... I have lost you haven't I.

At the same time though he replied with, For now.

I think he was no saying I have lost him for now, rather we have to have space for now.

Am I denying anything here? am I seeing this clearly? he is asking for space ... but he is not entirelly dropping our relationship? ...

[Belle]

I'm not exactly clear but it seems to me you are as if being forced into a position of taking a responsibility for your wellbeing. It's terrible as you want hope and you are being given a nugget but the boundaries are being dictated by him for the now but he's also keeping you dangling. As I read it.

You can decide what you want. Whether you wait in hope or move on. Not easy in the first instance so give yourself time and space to allow the pain to recede until you can breathe and see more easily.

Thank you.
I'm very lost in my head right now, although I do think you see this more clearly than I am. I believe you're right.

[Belle]

You have let your precious little heart be vulnerable and its feeling fragile so its natural to feel insecure and lost. Be kind to yourself. Drink water and rest.

[Blue Tiger]

My impression (from what you wrote) is that something is clearly bothering this fellow. He seems to be making a bona fide effort to tell you that he's just not in a place (emotionally) where you two can work out. He seems to be upset, hurt, and in emotional turmoil.

You seem to be intent on talking about how this has devastated you. He's in pain, and struggling, and you're saying "... that it has taken a huge toll on me. How I feel I am in a nightmare." That must make him feel even more horrible than he already does.

Maybe some time and distance would be a good thing. Give him some breathing room to work through whatever his immediate issues are. If you want to communicate with him, fine, but be supportive, friendly, and kind. Do not make him feel responsible for your happiness (or lack of it). He isn't in a place where he can handle that right now.

He does not sound like he is slamming the door shut on ever working it out with you. He is being very clear that he just can't do that right now. Accept his honesty. Better than stringing you along, isn't it?

[Belle]

Just an aside. It is safe to have hope that you will be ok irrespective of this bloke.

[Clover]

That sounds like the language I would use when my husband and I first separated. They are kinder words for breaking up.

I think it's courteous that he is being honest and giving you answers.He wants to be left alone,and that should be respected.After you poured your feelings out and he still thinks it's best to move on,that should be a pretty clear flag on his intentions,imo.



I am really sorry your going through this,maybe it's best take some time off from relationships so you can clear your mind and heal.Should you keep hope? Your a much better woman than me if you choose too,because I personally couldn't.

[Wandering_Star]

I've heard this exact kind of language before. What it's always meant has been, "I don't really want to be with you, but I also can't face dealing with your hurt and anger, so I'm trying to pull away as gently as possible and hope you get the hint." That's the part that, if pressed, they would admit to.

And this guy is being much clearer and more direct about his desire to end the relationship than most, especially in his texts to you. Whether he was dreaming of you or not doesn't matter--you two are going in different directions. And I'm sorry--I have no doubt how much that hurts, having been there.

That said, one variation on all this is that it can also mean, "I want to break up with you, but I don't want you to fall totally out of love with me. That way, if I'm ever bored or lonely and don't have another girl around, I can call you up once in a while and talk you into a booty call."

Not all men think or do that, but a lot of them do. It took me longer than I'd like to admit to hang up on late night "just thinking of you" phone calls from guys who had "needed more space" weeks or months before. If that happens, don't mistake it for a real desire to get back together. If he changes his mind, make him prove it--if he loves you, he'll understand, and do whatever it takes to regain your trust. But frankly, that almost never happens.

Again, I'm sorry. But somewhere out there is a good man who is going in the same direction you are. When the time's right, you'll meet.

[Kaere]

It's a tough place to be, especially as your heart is still so attached. So difficult to do but if someone wants to walk away from you for whatever reason, let them... try to focus that love on yourself and look around at all the other great things that are still in your world that you may have lost sight of while you were focused on that person

It is clear to me ..... that we have broken up .... we have gone through a lot of emotional conflict in regard with being on different pages of life.

He was telling me for a very long time all throughout our relationship what he was needing from me.

What he needed from me was for me to break out of my depression and care about my body and get back into working. Unfortunantly I was not ready to do so. We nearly lasted two years together and spent every day with one another. He's done a whole lot for me and put in a lot of time for me throughout the relationship. I was not ready to take control of my emotions/thoughts yet.

Above all we are bestfriends and care immensly for one another. Life situations were altering and neither of us could help one another. It all became about pointing fingers at one another. I know he loves me, but he cannot love me with where I am in life still. He did and tried for a very long time, but things are changing and he can't do it anymore if I don't try to help my own self.

We have broken up various times but they were never serious break ups, he'd always give in quickly and come back to me. I was never strong enough to break up with him when I thought I should, for my own independent growth.

There are very solid reasons why he is making this decision and it is for the best for both of us, as long as I do not make my own self suffer and can pick up my life.

But it seems to me he is saying he does care, and that this space aka break up does not mean we will never see one another again. When I told him briefly how I felt, he said he understands the way I feel. I know for a fact he feels the same way I feel about the bond we have. I think he is trying a different approach to wake me up, snap me out of my depression & anxiety with life and see what I have been given & can have if I wish to have (ie a potential life relationship with him) I pray it works.

I mean he clearly is saying "for now" and "right now" meaning he does deep down have the wish to be with me, but cannot with where I am in life right now. He also can not support me or try to support me in life right now. I cannot emotionally support him. If he did not want to see me again, or be with me again than he would have to be very cruel to be saying it in that way.... am I wrong?