Can lifelong platonic friends become a couple?

[SpiritofZoe]

It's not an easy yes/no question I know, it's a rhetorical question.... Do you know of any good (successful - and what is that?) examples? Can a physical attraction grow if you nurture it, if you want it because you do love the person? Anyone start off in a relationship sort of unsure about the physical attraction, but have a heart connection, and find the physical attraction naturally grew? I can sort of see it happening, I just would like to know if anyone has a similar situation.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by SpiritofZoe

It's not an easy yes/no question I know, it's a rhetorical question.... Do you know of any good (successful - and what is that?) examples? Can a physical attraction grow if you nurture it, if you want it because you do love the person? Anyone start off in a relationship sort of unsure about the physical attraction, but have a heart connection, and find the physical attraction naturally grew? I can sort of see it happening, I just would like to know if anyone has a similar situation.

That basically comes down to: can you have a good relationship with great chemistry too when neither is in love?
I guess so, but I think it will become quite frustrating in the end because both are lacking something, the most important part of wanting to be and stay together: desire. Not just sexual. The whole chemistry thing is much more than just sexual.
And there's the risk one will fall in love with someone at some point. Then what?

^^^ As usual, you've come up with a great, insightful answer, FairyCrystal. Can't do other than agree.
It could be the two stay platonic friends throughout, grow used to each other and stay together as a couple.
.

[SpiritofZoe]

Well that's basically what I see or suspect is the nature of some relationships and marriages. Obviously sex isn't that important to many couples, for some it was in the past, but others it's companionship, affection, partnership, understanding, and maybe the sex was okay but the love and affection more important.
Then there's the matter of differencces between the two, ie maybe the man (to be stereotypical) is more satisfied with the sex, it's more important to him so he doesn't want to leave her. At what point does the commitment to the other, to the partnership, become more important than the potential of someone else? Isn't that what most couples have to face eventually if they are to stay together? Isn't the attachment more important than sex eventually for any couple who stay together?

Originally Posted by SpiritofZoe

Isn't the attachment more important than sex eventually for any couple who stay together?

I'd say so, yes.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by SpiritofZoe

Well that's basically what I see or suspect is the nature of some relationships and marriages. Obviously sex isn't that important to many couples, for some it was in the past, but others it's companionship, affection, partnership, understanding, and maybe the sex was okay but the love and affection more important.
Then there's the matter of differencces between the two, ie maybe the man (to be stereotypical) is more satisfied with the sex, it's more important to him so he doesn't want to leave her. At what point does the commitment to the other, to the partnership, become more important than the potential of someone else? Isn't that what most couples have to face eventually if they are to stay together? Isn't the attachment more important than sex eventually for any couple who stay together?

Many couples split when the chemistry and attraction have faded.
Most people don't understand the importance of sexuality... It's not about the act that can last as short as a few minutes.
Our sexuality is related to our create life force, our life energy. Sex is also creation and expression of self.
That's the problem of what you miss out on if there's no sexuality that stems from desire and attraction etc. It does the rest that is linked to sexuality in as well.
That's why people who stay together after the flame has doused seem so dulled.
And the other side... if you do have that creative spark lit within, that creative life force and passion and so on, you wouldn't even want to be in a relationship without chemistry as you know and feel it is settling for less.

So it really comes down to what you want. Are you okay with a longterm dull, rather lifeless relationship with a nice friendship and platonic love?
Or do you deep down really crave to have a real, healthy relationship but just can't seem to find it?
And also, are you really willing to risk either one is going to fall in love with someone and then having it all fall apart?

That is what happened to me and an ex. I can tell you it ain't much fun to experience that.

[SpiritofZoe]

Thanks for your input on your personal experience FC. Yep there's a lot to consider and we have to be honest with ourselves first.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by SpiritofZoe

Thanks for your input on your personal experience FC. Yep there's a lot to consider and we have to be honest with ourselves first.

You're welcome.
Good luck!!

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Many couples split when the chemistry and attraction have faded.
Most people don't understand the importance of sexuality... It's not about the act that can last as short as a few minutes.
Our sexuality is related to our create life force, our life energy. Sex is also creation and expression of self.
That's the problem of what you miss out on if there's no sexuality that stems from desire and attraction etc. It does the rest that is linked to sexuality in as well.
That's why people who stay together after the flame has doused seem so dulled.
And the other side... if you do have that creative spark lit within, that creative life force and passion and so on, you wouldn't even want to be in a relationship without chemistry as you know and feel it is settling for less.

So it really comes down to what you want. Are you okay with a longterm dull, rather lifeless relationship with a nice friendship and platonic love?
Or do you deep down really crave to have a real, healthy relationship but just can't seem to find it?
And also, are you really willing to risk either one is going to fall in love with someone and then having it all fall apart?

That is what happened to me and an ex. I can tell you it ain't much fun to experience that.

In general, I agree with your assessment. In a relationships seminar, it was stated that 30% of problems in a "good marriage" are sexual in nature while 70% of problems in a "bad marriage" are sexual in nature.

However, for a life partnership that has discovered the incomparable peace in the depths of meditation, a platonic relationship works quite perfectly. This doesn't necessarily preclude being tactile, but sex actually becomes quite unnecessary at that point though there is no vow against having sex. There there CAN most assuredly be LOVE in such a relationship.

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It could be the two stay platonic friends throughout, grow used to each other and stay together as a couple.
.

I agree completely !