Lost and Found - Pagans and Earth religion in the City

Hello all.
I had a hard time trying to come up with a succinct title for this post.. I have a problem that is very hard to describe.
Years ago I used to have a much more active spiritual life. I went through a time of challenges and hardship and then as things got better, It's like I lost my spiritual life. At the core of my practice, and even my world-view there is the concept that we live in a world not nearly so simple as it appears to most. A big part of my life involved walking out into a natural environment like a park or forest and simply sitting, communing with the entities that live there. I'm a very experiential person and my ability to sense many things that lie just under the surface, so to speak, was an elementary part of who I was.

Lately, I live in the city; thus I am unable to practice in the way I am used to. I also experience what I can only call "dryness in prayer". It is as if nobody is on the other end of the line. This is really hard to explain, but there used to be a sense of wonder about the world, and that sense is what I would use to "tune in" to so many things. If I went around seeing everyone's aura and sensing every little astral movement around me, I would be too distracted to function, so I long ago learned to "turn off" some of my senses and then turn them back on... but now it is increasingly difficult to turn back on.
My description pales in comparison to what this actually feels like, but it's just so hard to explain especially since I am unused to talking about this part of my life... especially to people I can't see and touch.

It is as if my spiritual life has become dead and stagnant and my ethereal senses have become rusty beyond repair.

Well, what I want to know is if anyone has experienced something similar, how you got through it, and how any of you think I can or should deal with this problem...

[Silver]

Originally Posted by Szalvias

Hello all.
I had a hard time trying to come up with a succinct title for this post.. I have a problem that is very hard to describe.
Years ago I used to have a much more active spiritual life.

Consider / ponder all that you did that made up that more active spiritual life.

I went through a time of challenges and hardship and then as things got better, It's like I lost my spiritual life.

Sounds like a relatively simple matter of taking things for granted now that pressures have eased up...?

At the core of my practice, and even my world-view there is the concept that we live in a world not nearly so simple as it appears to most. A big part of my life involved walking out into a natural environment like a park or forest and simply sitting, communing with the entities that live there. I'm a very experiential person and my ability to sense many things that lie just under the surface, so to speak, was an elementary part of who I was.

Lately, I live in the city; thus I am unable to practice in the way I am used to.

Is there any practical thing(s) you can do to bring that part of your life back?

I also experience what I can only call "dryness in prayer". It is as if nobody is on the other end of the line. This is really hard to explain, but there used to be a sense of wonder about the world, and that sense is what I would use to "tune in" to so many things. If I went around seeing everyone's aura and sensing every little astral movement around me, I would be too distracted to function, so I long ago learned to "turn off" some of my senses and then turn them back on... but now it is increasingly difficult to turn back on.

I grew up in a small town and it was very healing to live in a natural environment. I too live in the suburbs now. Over time, I've found little ways of bringing nature back into my life, albeit on a much smaller scale, but I've learned to appreciate those little things...it's a step I believe you can take that can make a difference for you. For example, I started collecting healing stones/crystals so I have a bowl of them here and there, one on my nightstand, one in the bathroom, one on my computer desk and they really help me because I can feel vibrations (especially rainbow fluorite, my favorite atm). I had some flat smooth river rocks that I was going to use for some project and I ended up spilling them on the carpet inthe living room and left them there until I could get around to picking them up and I thought to myself about how people talk about grounding and I thought, 'perfect' ~they are still by the front door near an ottoman and whenever I think of it or feel the need, I simply push them into a small area and stand on them for a few moments and feel the cool smoothness and I think that helps. Nearby are 2 plants.

These things seem ordinary for anyone but when that's all you've got, just try to appreciate the little things more. Like moments ago, I had my fan going and I noticed that the train was going by (it's close enough to hear the click-clacking of the train over the tracks and the soft hum of it moving along) and I turned off my fan so I could hear it better and it's so soothing. I've always liked the sound of the trains. You may not have a train track nearby but y'know little things that you wouldn't regularly notice. Adjusting to city living isn't always easy.

[quote]

Thank you for the input, Silvergirl.
I don't think this is a matter of taking things for granted... possibly at one point, but certainly not now.
You asked if there are any practical things I can do to bring this part of my life back. Your suggestions may help. I'm going to try some things you mentioned in the later part of your post. Otherwise I'm not sure what I can do. I tried going back to my "old way" of doing things but that made matters worse. I could tolerate it well if I lived in suburbia, where there is maybe a yard or a park nearby, but I live right smack in the middle of the most populous area of my state... "nature" around here involves a ditch with a bunch of trash and some rainwater. [I tried cleaning the one nearby but people trash it up way faster than I can keep up with. It was very depressing.]

I'm thinking if maybe I do something very odd it might help. Something to shake my senses awake... you know like go live under a bridge for a weekend or walk around town with a huge tophat on. Sometimes completely erratic and nonsensical actions help shake ones perspective.

I grew up in a village and lived there till I was 32.

It wasn't until I moved into suburbia that I realised that I grew up and lived being bathed in natural energy. When I moved it felt like someone had cut me off from my spirituality... a spirituality I wasn't even really aware of. So, I think I understand how you feel about having moved to a city.

The thing is, I only managed to get the connection back by moving to a place that had a garden I could be in. A place that, although is still in suburbia, is filled with bird song and is very peaceful and private.

Before moving here people tried to tell me that I could get that connection through meditation and by creating that place in my head... well it never worked for me. My meditation practice isn't strong, I admit that, but if I meditated and connected to my sacred space in a field I played in as a child all I would do is sob because it broke my heart to be away from there!!

I don't have any answers for you on that front, just a caring "I can relate to how you are feeling"

What I will suggest tho is you look for a group of people in your area. Seek out people that you can share time with, that understand you and accept your angle on life.

I find one of the loneliest things about being spiritual is the fact you see life so differently from the muggles around you. Something happens and you experience it differently. Without people around you with a similar angle on life you can soon become lonely. There may be a spiritual development group around you. Maybe a meditation group, yoga, tai chi? Just be with people who are like you.

It may also be that your connection has changed along with the changes that came in your life. Maybe you need to work in a different way. I used to talk to my guide all the time, he was with me all the time, he is now a lot quieter and I listen less... but I am learning to do other stuff, almost like I have outgrown him.

You will find your way. Even if you don't think the guys upstairs are listening to your prayers, they are, but maybe their answers are coming in a way that is different to before. Maybe there is a timescale on this that means things have to happen a lot slower.

You will get there, keep plugging away :)

Originally Posted by Sungirl

I find one of the loneliest things about being spiritual is the fact you see life so differently from the muggles around you. Something happens and you experience it differently.

That really makes me smile.
So often I experience something that I really want to share only to realise that people's reaction to being told about purple cords of energy coming off someone and jagged glowing spikes on their shoulder might not be exactly the reaction I'm looking for! Throw into the mix that I'm an avid gamer, and all I have to say ends up being very esoteric.

Thanks for the kind words. You may be right that I need to find a new way of doing things. I think I'm gonna check meetup.com and the local metaphysical bookstore (yes, we have only one).

Originally Posted by Szalvias

That really makes me smile.
So often I experience something that I really want to share only to realise that people's reaction to being told about purple cords of energy coming off someone and jagged glowing spikes on their shoulder might not be exactly the reaction I'm looking for! Throw into the mix that I'm an avid gamer, and all I have to say ends up being very esoteric.


uh hu, that's the one ;o)

Thanks for the kind words. You may be right that I need to find a new way of doing things. I think I'm gonna check meetup.com and the local metaphysical bookstore (yes, we have only one).

yaays, hope you find something amazing

I went through a period of totally feeling nothing on the other end of the line. I went and spoke to a trusted medium friend about it and he told me that many many spiritual people go through this as they grow and expand in this area. That it was a natural event and it was kind of the growing pains of it. He said it's like all the electricity to the house had to be cut and turned off so that the rewiring could take place. He was right. It lasted about 9 months for me. I hope this helps. Good luck!