A sticky situation, really need some advice.

I am posting this in a state of panic and I ask that any repliers will be sensitive to my feelings, I am quite young and feel a heavy weight on my shoulders. Gonna try and not beat around the bush so here we go.

For about four years now I have strongly feared that my Dad's health is deteriorating. Why should I feel responsible for his health? It's his choice to smoke, drink, and do whatever but I always feared he would die any day. I felt it was my responsibility to save him! Some how. I was plagued with anxiety surrounding this situation, I had to check him while he was sleeping, ring him if I heard an ambulance..you get the idea.

I really don't want to admit that my intuition may have been right all these years. Please someone help me and my Dad. The amount of illnesses I fear he may have. And recently, learning about the Law of Attraction made me wonder if I had pushed these illnesses on him because I worried so much.

I underwent counselling because of my anxiety. The only thing I managed to do was get him to have a check up at the doctors, everything was fine, apparently. But a few blood tests etc doesn't really tell you that much.

I just really need some help, I don't know whether to take action or release my anxiety and look at it as just anxiety, nothing more. I try to heal him but ultimately I know he is responsible for himself. Any thoughts, advice, kind words would be very appreciated.

[Uma]

Hello Star Child,

Not to seem insensitive - I can feel your panic, but the picture you paint sounds a bit off... For starters you fear your dad is dying although this has been going on "always" and the doctors and your dad don't see anything wrong. What makes you so sure something is wrong? Why do you feel this is this all on your shoulders? Is he dependent on you? Are there no other members of the household who help? Can you try to calm yourself down and look at this in a logical way?

Just thoughts...
Uma

[Lynn]

Hello

"We can lead a horse to water but we can not make it drink."

I felt where one is at reading this post. I lost me Dad when I was 25 years old and he was only 56. WHY he did not over drink or smoke. So it was not an abusive behaviour that took him.

LIFESTYLE took him. ( His Wife's rotten cooking did not help), but no matter how hard we tried to have him change the protions he took in or the fat percentages in milk and butter ext he would NOT hear of it for long. Would make SHORT efforts and go back to old habbits again.

I miss him greatly. I had a Wedding planned and that never came to be as I only wanted the traditions of being given away. I had to make peace with the FACT he choose his path in life. We choose our battles and some sadly we loose.

At times one's we LOVe do hurt us....as our wants and intentions are NOT thiers. Least he did what mine NEVER did go to the Dr. That is something.

Be there but too remember that we are ultimaltely indivdiuals that lead our own lives. I wish me Dad had listened and made more efforts BUT to I know he made the final choice.

Lynn

Star,

Because this is not a new dynamic between you and your father but something you say has always been so, I would suspect it has it's cause or origin in a previous life experience. Perhaps you lost him to illness in that other life and/or deemed yourself responsible for his condition. In any case, the memory of that would continue to effect you in the here and now. If your dad has been checked out and there is no underlying condition that would warrent your concern, I suggest you consider being regressed by a qualified and sensitive past life regressionist to see if you can dig out the information from that previous life. Often when we dredge up and view the past life experience that is dogging us in the now but remains un-conscious, bringing it into the light of day and consciously examing and dealing with it, we get relief and the issue ceases to continue to plague in the here and now. I do wish you the very best of luck with this, and I'm sure it must be very trying. Bountiful blessings!

[Native spirit]

Hey Star Child



Its not unusual for ppl to feel responsible for their parents well being,but as your dad has passed his health check you need to lighten up a bit, you are getting anxious over something that is out of your control.
if you have had counselling for anxiety, i would tell you to see another counsellor maybe one who deals within a different theory. this may help you more and help you move on,
i have a friend who said from childhood by 30 she would have died and by a car accident she was a bag of nerves, she passed 30 with no ailments she is 50 now and in good health,
but like has already been said you can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink,
you need to concentrate on yourself what will be will be, nothing you can do will change that,
i hope you seek the help you need,


Namaste

Dear Starchild!
Rather than focus on what you perceive to be poor diet ,smoking etc..
Rather focus on the good.You or your father could die tomorrow or live another 100 years.Quantity of life is meaningless.Quality of life is everything.Investigate whats inside of you that is so fearful and get to the root of the problem.It probably lies not with your dad but is inside of you.
Best wishes Gerry

Hello Star Child,

Not to seem insensitive - I can feel your panic, but the picture you paint sounds a bit off... For starters you fear your dad is dying although this has been going on "always" and the doctors and your dad don't see anything wrong. What makes you so sure something is wrong? Why do you feel this is this all on your shoulders? Is he dependent on you? Are there no other members of the household who help? Can you try to calm yourself down and look at this in a logical way?

Just thoughts...
Uma

Hello, no you don't sound insensitive. It's mainly cancer I am worried about, I feel that blood tests, blood pressure etc. can't really determine if someone has cancer. He is a negative person so I feel he will attract negatives into his life. I feel I am a natural born healer, if I see a homeless man in the street I will always send him love and light because I feel he is in pain and this sort of applies to my Dad. I feel things aren't quite right and I want to heal him but maybe my need for control is too much. He moved out last summer and lives with his girlfriend.

I'm feeling a lot more calmer today but last night was very bad. Thanks for your input.

Hello

"We can lead a horse to water but we can not make it drink."

I felt where one is at reading this post. I lost me Dad when I was 25 years old and he was only 56. WHY he did not over drink or smoke. So it was not an abusive behaviour that took him.

LIFESTYLE took him. ( His Wife's rotten cooking did not help), but no matter how hard we tried to have him change the protions he took in or the fat percentages in milk and butter ext he would NOT hear of it for long. Would make SHORT efforts and go back to old habbits again.

I miss him greatly. I had a Wedding planned and that never came to be as I only wanted the traditions of being given away. I had to make peace with the FACT he choose his path in life. We choose our battles and some sadly we loose.

At times one's we LOVe do hurt us....as our wants and intentions are NOT thiers. Least he did what mine NEVER did go to the Dr. That is something.

Be there but too remember that we are ultimaltely indivdiuals that lead our own lives. I wish me Dad had listened and made more efforts BUT to I know he made the final choice.

Lynn

I'm very sorry to hear you lost your Dad, my heart goes out to you.
I haven't tried to inter fear with his lifestyle for a while now but I still feel like I have to. What you have said it true and yes he is an individual and I should probably just leave him.

Star,

Because this is not a new dynamic between you and your father but something you say has always been so, I would suspect it has it's cause or origin in a previous life experience. Perhaps you lost him to illness in that other life and/or deemed yourself responsible for his condition. In any case, the memory of that would continue to effect you in the here and now. If your dad has been checked out and there is no underlying condition that would warrent your concern, I suggest you consider being regressed by a qualified and sensitive past life regressionist to see if you can dig out the information from that previous life. Often when we dredge up and view the past life experience that is dogging us in the now but remains un-conscious, bringing it into the light of day and consciously examing and dealing with it, we get relief and the issue ceases to continue to plague in the here and now. I do wish you the very best of luck with this, and I'm sure it must be very trying. Bountiful blessings!

I have recently felt that me and my Dad have spent a past life/lives together. We are very close and quite alike. I will definitely look into past life regression, I have been getting the urge to do this for a while now.

Hey Star Child

Its not unusual for ppl to feel responsible for their parents well being,but as your dad has passed his health check you need to lighten up a bit, you are getting anxious over something that is out of your control.
if you have had counselling for anxiety, i would tell you to see another counsellor maybe one who deals within a different theory. this may help you more and help you move on,
i have a friend who said from childhood by 30 she would have died and by a car accident she was a bag of nerves, she passed 30 with no ailments she is 50 now and in good health,
but like has already been said you can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink,
you need to concentrate on yourself what will be will be, nothing you can do will change that,
i hope you seek the help you need,


Namaste

I have a hypnotherapist who I often see and she suggested that in our next session we work on the anxiety surrounding my Dad. I respond well to hypnotherapy so I feel that my next session will be very helpful.

Dear Starchild!
Rather than focus on what you perceive to be poor diet ,smoking etc..
Rather focus on the good.You or your father could die tomorrow or live another 100 years.Quantity of life is meaningless.Quality of life is everything.Investigate whats inside of you that is so fearful and get to the root of the problem.It probably lies not with your dad but is inside of you.
Best wishes Gerry

I have never really looked at this situation like that. It has given me relief because it is very true. I am doing lots of work on myself at the moment; emotional issues etc. so hopefully things will work out well.


Thank you everyone so much for your replies, I very much appreciate the support I get on this site. I knew I would get the help and wisdom I needed. Thanks again.

I always have a feeling that someone is going to die about a year before they do. I used to question why I knew, because there isn't anyway for me to change the outcome. But, I've learned to look at this as a gift - I have the opportunity to say everything that I need/want to before they go.

I'm not sure where your anxiety is coming from, or if you know when people are going to die. If it's because you have a gift, then look at it like a gift - a chance to say what you need to say. Most people don't have the warning and when loved ones die, they are left with many unsaid things.

It's always good to take action to release your anxiety. Do you have an idea of how to do this?

[Spiritlite]

Let me make this clear. I suffer and have had ocd in the past very badly. And let me say that you did NOT cause your father to be sick by worrying about his illness, you did NOT attract illnesses to him by worrying about it and by having anxiety over his illness.
God and the universe makes exceptions for those of us who tend to worry. You did not cause his illnesses.
Please PM me if you need to talk like I sadi I had BAD ocd at 14 and have bad anxiety at times where sometimes I am not rational thinkign I caused something bad to happen because I thought of something, but it's not logical or spiritual.
Spiritlite.

I always have a feeling that someone is going to die about a year before they do. I used to question why I knew, because there isn't anyway for me to change the outcome. But, I've learned to look at this as a gift - I have the opportunity to say everything that I need/want to before they go.

I'm not sure where your anxiety is coming from, or if you know when people are going to die. If it's because you have a gift, then look at it like a gift - a chance to say what you need to say. Most people don't have the warning and when loved ones die, they are left with many unsaid things.

It's always good to take action to release your anxiety. Do you have an idea of how to do this?

I used to think it was a gift but no I don't think I have anything like that, I have been feeling like this for many years. I use EFT quite a lot and next week I am seeing my hypnotherapist and we are working specifically on my anxiety surrounding my Dad.

Thanks for your reply

Let me make this clear. I suffer and have had ocd in the past very badly. And let me say that you did NOT cause your father to be sick by worrying about his illness, you did NOT attract illnesses to him by worrying about it and by having anxiety over his illness.
God and the universe makes exceptions for those of us who tend to worry. You did not cause his illnesses.
Please PM me if you need to talk like I sadi I had BAD ocd at 14 and have bad anxiety at times where sometimes I am not rational thinkign I caused something bad to happen because I thought of something, but it's not logical or spiritual.
Spiritlite.

Thank you for your very reassuring reply I really appreciate it.

I will PM you if i'm feeling overly anxious.

Thanks again.