Lost

[Smoreslover]

I couldn't figure out which thing to post this on. Anyways, up until recently I thought for the first time I knew where life was taking me. I was getting signs everywhere that change was coming my way, and I thought I knew what it was talking about.

A few months ago my mom had talked to me about hiring me to go visit my grandma for a few hours every day when we moved her to a home. I was excited to get my first job and even better it would be with my grandmother, someone I was very close with.

The day we moved her, she passed away. She had been fine when we moved her, we had the help of paramedics and an ambulance so they were monitoring her during the process. But a few hours later after I had left, my mom says she just fell asleep while my mom was talking to a nurse and she passed on.

I'm still obviously getting over losing her, I love her very much. But I'm also getting over a path I was excited to take. I had felt like for once I knew what to do with my life. I just feel sad, lost, and disconnected from the spiritual side of life now and I don't know what to do.