Learning new things from spirits.

Nowadays, the only time I'm really compelled to post a new thread on this particular forum is often because some spirits want messages relayed to people that both of us know will come here to read it and today is no exception. However, some of what I will say can be meant for just about anyone who is either a medium, someone who is interested in mediumship, or someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

There is this one particular spirit that has been around me for almost a month now who I nicknamed "Lemonade" because I can develop cravings for things spirits enjoyed in life so they can enjoy them again through me and he totally turned me into a lemonade junkie. He intends to go visit someone else connected to me who he also knows comes to this forum just to read my posts. He knew he would see this and has a few things he wanted me to give him a heads up on beforehand...........hence this thread. Some of this stuff is also meant for his family as well. It's meant for both, really.

I recieved a private message from a woman who mentioned a soul connection she had that passed on, though she used the word "transitioned" instead. He really liked the word compared to terms like "died" or "passed away." I like it a lot too and try to use it as often as possible. Spirits that recently passed find these terms or any terms related to death hard to listen to. I imagine they find them a bit too emotionally charged since they haven't been on the other side for too long. My spirit guide who has been on the other side for a bit longer was not quite as sensitive to that but when I have said things like "I'm dying to try this" or "The suspense is killing me," he asked me to rephrase them differently. He wasn't quite as sensitive, but he made it clear that he still wasn't crazy about those expressions. These are expressions that we are so accustomed to using while alive that we don't even think when we say it. It's a pretty hard habit to break. I've had to learn to train myself to use different terms instead. Sometimes I forget and when I do, I feel bad but spirits at least recognize that I am still trying to be sensitive to their feelings. Lemonade has joked that I act like spirits are all delicate or something.He said that it is the living that are the delicate ones. There is truth in that, but I feel the emotions of spirits and the living and to me it feels almost the same.

He has also taught me that another reason why spirits aren't fond of those terms is because death is an illusion. We experience a physical death on the earth plane, but souls are eternal. I can't tell if I've become more and more detached from those words because thats how spirits feel, or if I've finally realized myself that death is an illusion. I'd say its a bit of both.

The same thing goes for movies and such that involve events or storylines similar to how they passed. I estimate that I have maybe around 300 DVDs so I'm never at a loss for finding things to watch but I've done my best to avoid movies that have anything that reminded him of how he passed and thankfully if I forget about a movie or something that has it (which happens a lot because my memory really sucks lately and its hard to remember every single detail of that many movies anyway so I try not to beat myself up over it too much), he reminds me so I either avoid putting that movie in altogether or if I do put it in, I remember the scene it happens in and just skip to the next scene to avoid it. Just like we struggle with phobias while we are alive, souls retain the memory of how they transitioned and even on the other side, it does still affect them. I actually used to go down the street he was on the day he passed to get to and from work. It was a quicker route. Now I make a point of avoiding that road completely and go a longer route to get to and from work. I won't even drive down it unless I know he is not around me.If he was,he would have to say loud and clear to me, "It's ok, you can go down it," for me to feel right about driving down it again. I would always worry about doing something that would upset him so I would rather just avoid the things I know would.

This part in particular is meant for his family and anyone else who happens to interact with him. He said his family has said stuff about how he's not the same anymore. Some other people also assume because of some choices he made in life, thats also how he would always be.
Just for the record,(and this next part in particular is coming from me).....spirits are equally as influential as someone you might meet in life. I've learned that Lemonade has appreciated many of the movies I have that relate to a few hobbies he enjoyed in life (and I've also introduced him to some that he has never even heard of which has intrigued him because he couldn't believe that he never heard of them) but I have also played other movies and music that he either has never seen or heard before but he ended up enjoying anyway. He said some of the music in my itunes collection were from genres or artists he never would have given a chance while alive. There were 3 songs in particular that he never heard before while he was alive, but the lyrics really resonated with him after he transitioned. They are: "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp, "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns, and "Leave out all the rest" by Linkin Park. He was moved to tears when he heard the first two songs. He also said that if he heard "There will be a day" while he was alive, he would have clung to that song like a lifeline. He felt the same way about "Praise you in this storm" but more so with "There will be a day."
However when it comes to the two things (hobbies) he loved most (and his family knows what they are).........those loves have never gone away. They are still there. He still loves a lot of the same things. He just learned to appreciate other things as well.

The spirit's personality when they were alive stays the same even after they transition. He also wanted me to make it clear that some of the choices spirits make while they were alive are sometimes not the same choices they would want to make again, especially if they are bad ones. Spirits sort of have to break free from some of the things they were drawn to in life. The problem is, the people they left behind want to cling to the very person they were in life and while the spirit's personality stays the same.......some of the choices they made they wouldn't make again. This seems to cause the family (his in particular) added grief. Basically, he does not want to be reminded of negative choices he has made and to people who didn't know him in life, he doesn't want them to assume the worst about him because of some of his past choices because those choices do not define him. I've had enough time to get to know him and see that for myself. He wants others to do the same as well.


My grandmother is an awesome example of a spirit who has developed an aversion to an addiction she had in life that she now aknowledges was bad for her. She was a smoker and it was emphysema that took her life. Even after she was diagnosed, she still would smoke cigarettes even while she had to lug an oxygen tank with her everywhere she went. Where I work, I have to sell cigarettes to people and I have always disliked it immensely because I always felt like I was enabling other people's addiction but I of course never had a choice to be able to refuse to sell cigarettes to someone and refer them to someone who could (I wish I did, though). Lately it seems like my own aversion towards selling them has gotten stronger and stronger and Lemonade has told me that she has been around me this whole time and a big part of why I dislike it so much is because some of those feelings are also coming from my grandmother too. I know a part of it was definitely my own feelings because I remember watching her suffer for years before passing but since I became aware of her presence, those feelings have intensified. It is also clear to me that on two occasions I had to write about a disease in school, once in high school, once when I was pre-nursing in college, my grandmother was behind what I chose to write about. I chose Emphysema both times and just dove headfirst into research and it was something I was always impassioned writing about because I saw how it affected her. Smoking was one of her weaknesses in life but on the other side, she has grown to dislike it. To me, she's still the same person I remember in life.......she's just not attached to bad choices she made while she was alive anymore.

So in a nutshell, when connecting to spirits, its best to remember that they have the same personality while they were alive. Focus on the personality, and the good memories and like the title to that Linkin Park song goes: "Leave out all the rest."

Lemonade also wanted me to add that he was stoked to be able to work the title of one of those songs into my conclusion. I like to incorporate a conclusion to pretty much everything I write so I was pretty excited myself and that is in large part because that song perfectly describes how he feels right now. Songs can capture how we feel sometimes even better than we can. That is something spirits can agree on too.

[Native spirit]

I can appreciate that not all passed loved ones want to be called dead because there is no such thing as death life is eternal,as a medium myself i see that ,but the communication you have with who you call to be lemonade.is for his purpose alone you have a life to live,and spirit are not to interfere with that,
it seems you are listening more to lemonade.who has lived his life, than living your own.you need to put boundries in place which you both abide to.he can communicate with you when you open up when you close down your time is your own,im surprised that your guide has allowed this to happen.without guiding you.

Namaste

Can you elaborate on what you mean by boundaries? As far as I'm concerned, I am living my life just fine. However, I will relay messages in this manner since I am not otherwise connected to people he knew in life in a conventional way. There have also been occasions where he wanted me to say something and I didn't hesitate to say "that's not a good idea." And he respected it. I was watching another movie and there were the words "kill" sprinkled into it, though it was a PG-13 movie and not violent. He also seems to realize that a possible reason why the words he's sensitive to happens to be in a lot of movies is because he has to basically get used to hearing them since they are a part of life......even if they are not used to refer to a literal death. So he is getting used to it but has aknowledged that he appreciates the fact that I refrain from using them myself. It has not been long since he transitioned so I have no problems avoiding using those words if I can.

However I understand where you are coming from about him communicating with me when I choose to "open up." Sounds like a lovely concept but unfortunately I haven't been doing this long enough to know how.

Also, there is another reason why I don't try to close that door and only open it on my terms. I severed ties with all of my family-some of which I was never close to in the first place (no loss) and the ones I used to be close to.....I cut contact for personal reasons. I also cut a few friends out of my life that have knifed me in the back. Trusting anyone does not come easily to me anymore. Its connecting with spirits that seems to be the only thing that helps me to combat loneliness. If I closed that door, I really will be alone and I will feel it. So part of the reason why I don't open/close the door to spirits when I want to is because I don't know how,but also because I really just don't want to. If I had someone in my life to focus on, it might be a bit easier, but it ain't happenin' at the moment.

[Native spirit]

You need to learn how to open up and close down when dealing with spirit.if there is a spiritulist church near to you it would be a good idea to go there,where they could teach you how to do this, the easiest way is to visulise a door in the centre of your forhead third eye area when you want to connunicate with spirit you open the door.when you close down you close the door. but you need to ground yourself to.you can do this by imagining roots growing from under your feet anchoring you to the ground.and get to know the vibration of your guide so you know when hes around you,to use protection you visulise your selh insode a cacoon filled with pure white light.
you could meet like minded ppl in a spiritulist church,and you could make friends there.

Namaste

I don't know if there is that kind of church in my area. I walked away from Christianity two years ago when I realized that my own beliefs didn't mesh with religion. I can't say I've been interested in stepping back into one since. I still appreciate Christian music and movies however because some songs and movies are pretty uplifting.

I'll keep your other suggestions in mind, though. Thanks.

[Native spirit]

Hi a christian church is not a spiritulist church a spiritulist church teaches you about spiritulism mediumship etc, a medium normally takes the service ,if you dont know about spiritulist churches in your area look in your local paper,or someone could be holding a development group .


Namaste

That sounds interesting. I'll look into that. I was reluctant to consider any church because I worried it might not be like a Christian church but there could still be people telling me how to live my life or what I should or shouldn't believe in but I can now see the possibility of meeting like-minded people because the people I can relate to the most are typically on forums like this. I rarely find people like that in real life.

[froebellian]

I just started to go to a spiritualist church 2 weeks ago and it has helped and taught me a few things.. and i heard some things I needed to hear..
I haven't been to a church for over 10 years..

My town is kinda small so I figured we might not have anything like that up here, but we do. I'm interested now. The next time I can get a Sunday off, I might actually check one out myself. Worst case scenario, I might discover its not my thing, but I'll give it a chance.The website looks really good.

Thanks for the suggestion,Native Spirit.

[froebellian]

Yes, I was apprehensive.. mine is in Salem,MA