introvert-extrovert

[Natively Libran]

Originally Posted by loulou1986

He had this real issue about 'letting people down'. He used to say "i could hurt you, Laura (his wife) and my mum... im letting everyone down" or "i cant bear the thought of causing you any upset" so i think when push came to shove he tried to do the right thing by everyone through running. Staying with his wife, not embarassing his mum, keeping me with my husband. He was distraught when he heard me and my husband had split anyway (a few months after we started NC) its like he is an empath and physically takes on other peoples emotions as his own?

I have stayed in my safe marriage because the alternative scares the hell out of me but also because it saves so many other peoples unhappiness. Mirroring at its best right there...

I think my SC has a similar issue to yours about "letting people down" however, it seems to be more about him letting himself down. He wants to make sure he's making the right choices. He puts a lot of time and energy into making sure he stays the course, even if the course is heading in a direction that doesn't work in his best interests, or if it's not even what he wants. But if it's safe, comfortable, and everyone around him supports it, he'll head in that direction.

Out of us two, I'm definitely the risk taker. I learned from life that you can't control the world. You just have to do your best to get by and make a life for yourself. There are no right or wrong choices. Every time I chose the safe option (mostly career wise), I was miserable. I've learned to find a happy middle, where I can have security, but at the same time changeability and excitement, because I need that type of stimulation to feel motivated and alive in life. When it comes to choosing partners, I've always chosen the riskiest bet. I'm such a weirdo. But it turns out my instincts were always on point. While everyone else thought I was out of my depths, I knew the truth, and followed my intuition.

In regards to your marriage, though it's a safe option, if it makes you happy that's all that matters.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by MissTetley

I'm an introvert but have overcome a lot of it to be able to appear as though I'm not. It depends on the situation. I did the Briggs-Myers test and discovered that I'm an INFJ personality type and in the past I learned about HSP's (Highly Sensitive Person) after reading a book on this by Elaine N. Aron.

I am just curious... what is there to overcome? Why do you feel the need to appear you're not what you are?

For me I tried being an extrovert because it felt shameful to be an introvert. But gave up in the end and stopped caring how it appeared to others. I'm happy in my introvertedness.... there's nothing wrong with me. As for Myers Briggs... I did say on a recent thread by Secrets that I don't use the system much anymore but am core INTJ anyway.

[Tanemon]

I realize this thread I'm posting to isn't new and that it went dormant a while back, but the topic remains an interesting one.

This morning someone sent me a link to a not-too-lengthy explanation (on Quora) of the distinctions in the psychologies (& general ways of being) of introverts and extroverts. I think it's a good, useful elucidation. The contributor makes things quite clear, uses examples, and offers some valuable insights.

Here's the Quora article: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-s...f-an-introvert

[Delay_Reaction]

I am not a true introvert, but people for some reason like to think i am full on introvert, which isn't true.

Anyway, the next person who tells me i should smile more is going to get an introverted beating

At one point in my life I actually switched to being a full on extrovert, which of course no one believes.

Now i am happy being with myself and with others. But as tIme goes by, I find it easier to be involved with less and less people

[Tanemon]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

I am not a true introvert, but people for some reason like to think i am full on introvert, which isn't true.

Anyway, the next person who tells me i should smile more is going to get an introverted beating

At one point in my life I actually switched to being a full on extrovert, which of course no one believes.

Now i am happy being with myself and with others. But as tIme goes by, I find it easier to be involved with less and less people

I can believe you had a full-extrovert phase. Because of my own phases.

I took the Myers-Briggs survey quite a few years back. I was into daily meditation in those days (as I am now). My results were INTP. In terms of the numerical scores on each of the measures, I was more or less "introvert" (not so far from measuring as an E or extrovert). Same with the T/F alternatives, because on the initial survey I leaned to F (feeling) in preferential answers on many of the questions. On a second go at the survey few years later, I measured INFP, and on a third go, ENTP.

Some people do not experience big shifts in their "make-up", hence they may be reluctant to believe that people change.

I think the Myers-Briggs survey can give us valid insights into ourselves, but I also feel that different circumstances (such as a changed job role or living place or social environment) can bring out shifted personal characteristics. "Inner work" (spiritual self work) can also do this. I've seen this in myself and in other people. For instance, a person who has come across to people as a shrewd schemer or dogmatic thinker may shift to being an open-hearted "sweet" person, who is now obviously more "feeling" in that sort of way.

[Aloneyetnot]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

I am not a true introvert, but people for some reason like to think i am full on introvert, which isn't true.

Anyway, the next person who tells me i should smile more is going to get an introverted beating

At one point in my life I actually switched to being a full on extrovert, which of course no one believes.

Now i am happy being with myself and with others. But as tIme goes by, I find it easier to be involved with less and less people

I have a NBF (natural b**** face) and people tell me to smile ALL the time. What's ironic, is that I'm more happy and chill than most people around me.

Teaching has led me to become more of an introvert. When I get home, I'm all "socialized out".

[BlueCat]

I'm like 90% introverted in the Myers-Briggs test and INTJ, sometimes i can talk A LOT but only with very selective topics or few people. I could look a bit extroverted during these moments infact. I hate socialising with people that don't share anything with me, i have also peculiar tastes that limit my talk with few select people and i feel drained after interactions with people. I don't need to be with someone to be happy and validation, unlike TF because he is the type that cannot stay without a relationship or friends. Yes, he is extroverted (not sure which type) but sometimes i think he has a bit of introversion, probably because we change with time. Lately i also scored INFJ because i developed more the feeling part, i always was the "cold" one and this was a challenge for me.