how do you forgive

[vgemini]

how do you forgive your mother & or father?

[Miss Hepburn]

Well, that is my expertise, my sister Gemini!
Forgiving is the main 'thing' of "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM) and trying to forgive my father for decades...
because I knew that was a thing to do, makes me an expert.
Then it happened in 10 seconds one day just a few years ago.

I will not tell the details, but lemme tell ya...nothing is what it seems.
Every single encounter you have...whether a stranger smiles at you or
your mother slaps you is for a reason.
This is the crux of forgiving, ie, understanding creation and how things work...why things happen.
The terrible person that you 'hate' could be your best friend through lifetimes and has incarnated as a family member only
to help you with 'an issue', a stumbling block to your spiritual growth.
You could just as easily be asking how can I forgive God for making me blind at birth.
It is all for a reason...one reason...all designed immaculately just for you.
Thank God and them for being as terrible as they were to you.

[shoni7510]

Forgiveness of family members is very challenging becaue we have expectations or how they should behave towards us and if they don't we get angry. Some of the issues have accumulated throughout decades to form layers and layers of anger and bitterness. How do you forgive that? Take the advice from Miss Hepburn.

[iamthat]

The work of Byron Katie might help.

If we cannot forgive our parents it is because we are telling ourselves a story that they should have been different, they should have acted differently, they should have treated us differently. We resist the reality of how they were. But they did what they did, and that is reality. If we resist reality then we suffer. So forgiveness starts with acceptance. Things were how they were.

Perhaps we can understand that our mother and father did whatever they did because they simply didn't know any better. They could not be other than they were. And they too had mothers and fathers who did whatever they did to make our mother and father whatever they were. All we can do is feel compassion towards our parents, because they too were suffering.

Or we can try the approach of ho'oponopono. Forgiveness of others starts with forgiveness of ourselves for whatever we have done to attract something into our life.

In the end we realise that nothing really happened and there is nothing to forgive.

[vgemini]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Well, that is my expertise, my sister Gemini!
Forgiving is the main 'thing' of "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM) and trying to forgive my father for decades...
because I knew that was a thing to do, makes me an expert.
Then it happened in 10 seconds one day just a few years ago.

I will not tell the details, but lemme tell ya...nothing is what it seems.
Every single encounter you have...whether a stranger smiles at you or
your mother slaps you is for a reason.
This is the crux of forgiving, ie, understanding creation and how things work...why things happen.
The terrible person that you 'hate' could be your best friend through lifetimes and has incarnated as a family member only
to help you with 'an issue', a stumbling block to your spiritual growth.
You could just as easily be asking how can I forgive God for making me blind at birth.
It is all for a reason...one reason...all designed immaculately just for you.
Thank God and them for being as terrible as they were to you.

this is beautiful. gave me goosebumps. thank you for this.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Well, that is my expertise, my sister Gemini!
Forgiving is the main 'thing' of "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM) and trying to forgive my father for decades...
because I knew that was a thing to do, makes me an expert.
Then it happened in 10 seconds one day just a few years ago.

I will not tell the details, but lemme tell ya...nothing is what it seems.
Every single encounter you have...whether a stranger smiles at you or
your mother slaps you is for a reason.
This is the crux of forgiving, ie, understanding creation and how things work...why things happen.
The terrible person that you 'hate' could be your best friend through lifetimes and has incarnated as a family member only
to help you with 'an issue', a stumbling block to your spiritual growth.
You could just as easily be asking how can I forgive God for making me blind at birth.
It is all for a reason...one reason...all designed immaculately just for you.
Thank God and them for being as terrible as they were to you.

I think that is the most beautiful thing I have read, and heard today Miss Hepburn.

Forgiveness to me and how I forgive, seems to be as I see it a work in progress. Just when I think I am getting better at it, someone comes along and gives me a reason to forgive them. A reason to be, and a reason to keep growing as a human being.

I am grateful for my mother, my father, my brothers, and my friends, and other family I have learned to forgive. I am considerably grateful to and for them, and I am ever in their debt- for teaching me such a way to love, and be loving.

I think an important part of forgiveness is acceptance.

And throughout this process, let us not forget to also come to forgive ourselves when needed.

Acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, gratitude.

I am ever grateful for the people in my life who taught me to learn how to forgive. The way we learn, yes as Miss Hepburn got at; is through example.

[Nature Grows]

Matt Kahn just released a video about forgiveness, maybe you might like it or find it helpful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSgI1kxvzUk