Digging myself into a deeper hole with TF...

[Indigo_Sky]

At this phase in my life, I'm starting to literally lose my mind. I'm going through deep existential doubts and a lot of it is stemming from my twin flame. He fully understands our connection and is just as much of a spiritual person as I am, though he's much more independent about it than I am. He finds it all interesting and positive so it doesn't end up dominating his life at all. We've both been obsessively noticing repeating number sequences everywhere... mostly 11's. It's driving me crazy because I don't get a break from it. It's everywhere. Signs, microwaves, my car's odometer readings, my phone, bills, anywhere you can imagine that has numerical figures on it. I'm also noticing his name everywhere, almost no matter where I accidentally look. I dream about him every night, go to sleep thinking about him and wake up thinking about him. The song that we claim to be "our song" plays all the time even though I have hundreds of songs in my library... I even turned the radio on which I never do and guess what was playing? That song, of course.

Today I got the point to where I can't stand it anymore and decided to text him about it. He responded immediately and was completely supportive but didn't have much to say and eventually stopped responding to my novel-lengthed texts. He's not a very communicative person so it didn't really make me feel any better or any less like I'm losing my actual sanity.
But I'm now afraid that all of the emotions I just spilled to him have come out wrong, and that he might just think I'm being weird or trying to come onto him or something- which I'm definitely not. I just have these really strong feelings of longing for connection with him but we're both at phases in our lives where we aren't allowing ourselves to individually progress so we're in a little bit of a recession. It's like a strong frustration because I know there's no way to move forward at this specific point in our lives, so I have no choice but to try to ignore it.

I don't really know what I'm getting at, or if I'm over thinking everything... but I don't know where else to express anything about this except for to him or here, where other people are probably experiencing the same thing. There's only so many novel-lengthed texts that I can send him before it's just not productive anymore.