Inner Child Exercises --- Everyone contribute!

[Xan]

Starbuck... I don't know if you read my post about how I work with the inner child, but when I read about your childhood loneliness I thought right away that she should be brought into your deep heart, to live there in your love and comfort forever.


Xan

[Emmalevine]

Thanks Xan, I have just read it. It's only recently that I realised how much those feelings still exist inside me. I looked out of my bedroom window the other day to see a small child sitting on the wall outside my house. My first thought was 'He must be so lonely' and tears ran down my face. Instantly, of course, I realised it wasn't about him, but the child inside me. Also, my son (who is autistic) is due to go to a big school in September and that was a very painful part of my own life. A lot is getting stirred up so it's a good time to look into healing this part of me. Thanks I will try what you suggest.

It's painful, sometimes I think I'm over it, and it's all just a memory, I was never abused and my mother is amazing, but of course it can't be helped, during discipline and emotional stress she has said a few painful words, sometimes when I look back I still feel that same sharp pain I did years ago...

Originally Posted by Xan

This is well said, Neville. However it's difficult, and impossible for some people, to see with that natural sense of wonder when there are unhealed wounds in the child of the subconscious mind. With healing and releasing one's childhood past, the mind and heart may open in surprising ways.


Xan

Yes it is Sad, Scar tissue builds on wounds and sensations become dulled.

It's funny because I'd never heard of this kind of thing before, but I totally get it.

I always thought I had an easy and relatively privileged childhood, and that I had nothing to complain about. I also thought the problems I had a few years ago in my mid twenties came from nowhere. Until I woke up, then I saw just how much pain I was in at times in my childhood, and how much suffering I went through.

My concept of having had an easy childhood did not come from me. I got conditioned into believing it. I always had food on the table, toys, holidays, a loving family, how could I complain when there are kids starving in Africa?

I think when we start looking at our inner child, we may come to see just how sensitive, vulnerable and hurt he/she was.

Originally Posted by Sybilline

Hi everyone! Just sharing a thought :) I will use "her" because I am a she, in my language our pronouns have no gender and typing he/her, him/her, he/she is so tiring lol! >.<

Childhood is a crucial part of our lives. I would like to think that this is our transition from being spirit to becoming human. Our ideas of "who we are" are replaced by other people's ideas, our "imaginations" slowly get weaker, and we stop seeing Angels, "imaginary friends", etc.

If children are verbally abused, they may start to think that the abuser was right. Verbal abuse can be from classmates, or other adults. If they are physically/sexually abused, they can start having trust issues, severe hatred, and worse if they report the incident and the adult blames them for the abuse, they might no longer report any bad incident --- bullying for instance, or any future forms of abuse.

And sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, they carry those scars with them far into adulthood.

Everybody has an inner child. Some of our inner children need healing, some need recognition or attention, but every inner child needs love.

Based on my own experience, and a bit of research, I find the following exercises to be effective in nurturing/healing your inner child. I suggest you calm and relax yourself, make sure nobody disturbs you, before you do any of these, as it may require great focus to find the root cause of your issues, some of them may be buried underneath piles of memory:

1. Write your inner child a love letter.

This is going to be from you -- the Adult, to your inner child. Take a moment to think of the issues that are still affecting your current life. Do you feel unpretty because the other kids told you so? Do you feel that you will never be a teacher/architect/doctor, etc. because your parents wanted you to become something else, or they never thought you could ever match up? Were you always told that you were a disappointment? Did a parent leave you in a divorce? Are you still traumatized by a specific childhood memory?

Then in your letter, write with all your love, that these words are untrue, that she is beautiful, smart, and that you are proud of her. Tell her that the pain is no more, the hurting is over, nobody is around to hurt him/her anymore. Just... express all your love. All of it, do not hold back, this is your LOVE letter.

Read it to yourself when you feel down, or if insecurity/sadness strikes you.

2. Talk to your inner child.
This is basically the same step as above, but use a mirror. Look into the child's eyes, and try to really figure out her biggest issues. Then when you feel them, let her cry, grieve, and comfort them as you would have wanted to be comforted by an adult.

Hug a plushie if you wish, and imagine it's your inner child. Clearly no blaming should be done here. When the child feels a little bit better, talk to her and tell her your views, as an adult, about the situation, and of course assure her that it's not because she she was not loved.

3. Celebrate your inner child!
Being child-like is not being childish, and being a kid at heart is not being a kid in mind.

When you feel like the world is just collapsing on you, you have been doing the same boring routine for the last 5 years, the whole company/family/group is depending on you ----- maybe you just need to celebrate your inner child. There is nothing wrong with some harmless fun every once in a while --- get yourself a big colorful lollipop or a cotton candy, take a trip to the park/beach and run around with your dog like crazy, tickle your partner and roll around in bed as he tickles you all over like you did with your siblings/playmates as a child. Never had anybody to play with? Have one now! Go out and have fun, play a sport, etc. JUST BE A KID. :) You still have the responsible adult with you, so you should still have control of the situation.

Who says it's too late? Change your perception, and with it you change history. Re-raise your inner child...

Whew! That was a lot...
Share your own personal inner child exercises! I am sure someone can benefit from it! :))

Love Letter:

Hey there kiddo,

I don't think we've even ever met. Apparently, you are my inner child, and I am your guardian. While I've spent my entire life with my back to you, I have always had the feeling that you weren't even little. You were not a child at all, but in fact, very old. It's odd because in many ways you didn't need protection- you've always had my answers...

I just want you to know that I appreciate you. I think you're really interesting and I get my wisdom from you. I suppose that we are one, and I'm quite happy to be your twin.

So this is where I am suppose to have a "talk" with you:

I know I know, we are Not very good at this talking thing when it comes to sharing our feelings and our issues etc. I want you to know that I get it, and that we don't have to go there because we both know. Just a brief nod with a knowing glance is enough- the rest is private but I don't have to tell you that. Thank you for helping me when I get carried away with my stress load- you always try to bring me back to the ground and I know I frustrate you when I am too scared to 'hear' it. I know how often you remind me that I am a good person despite my daily inner critique.

To Celebrate you:

Well, I thought that seeing as we are here sharing this with the rest of the forum, I could make some suggestions on some treats that we could indulge ourselves in. Perhaps another early night? A hot bath? Yeah, yeah I know, we need a good long walk outside in the sunshine. Ok, I'll put the books away for a while tomorrow afternoon and I'll drive us out to that pretty country lane that we've never been down. And just so you know- I know you are the one who wants the chocolate all the time and I'm the one who frets about the negative effects on our health. Fine, we'll have chocolate too.

Love you,

Me.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Sybilline

It's painful, sometimes I think I'm over it, and it's all just a memory, I was never abused and my mother is amazing, but of course it can't be helped, during discipline and emotional stress she has said a few painful words, sometimes when I look back I still feel that same sharp pain I did years ago...

It is all just memory, it doesn't exist except in the mind. But that doesn't make it any less real and painful. It's very interesting how memory is just information stored in our minds, but affects every part of our lives.

[Nameless]

This is what helped me so much to reconcile, not only my inner children, but other parts of me. There is a book (yes, another book recommendation - feel free to roll your eyes now ) and in the first chapter of the book, it takes you through a process of meeting and healing parts of yourself, whatever you decide that needs healing. It starts with preparing your personality to blend with your soul. The obiedent self, the fearful self, and so on, anything you can think of. I did all of the ones mentioned in the book plus some. I did them one at a time, but know someone who had more than one show up at a time. It is a powerful meditation to greet these selves and heal them. Amazon has a "look inside" feature, and it is in the first few pages. It's like I left parts of my energy behind me, and got to gather it back up and it made me feel whole - I can't really explain it any better than that.

The book is titled, "Soul Love" by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer. Sanaya channel Orin, who calls himself a "being of light" and also in the first few pages, he will send a transmission of light if you are open to it. That is one of the first times I have felt a wave of love - absolutely amazing stuff.

Light.

[Xan]

CatChild... Your love letter is beautiful, but is that the way you would talk to an actual child?

How about imagining the 5 year old you, and speak to her naturally in words and ideas she could understand.


Xan

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Xan

Starbuck... I don't know if you read my post about how I work with the inner child, but when I read about your childhood loneliness I thought right away that she should be brought into your deep heart, to live there in your love and comfort forever.


Xan

Your post said 'you 'you 'you'... not much about 'I', and now you concern yourself with everyone else and pretend you're the expert in this thing.